MM supposed to leave and move in this week... I'm anxious and uncertain

[waterwoman]

" i do think he's probably hiding his own abuse + the fact that their dysfunctional relationship is a 2 way street."

 

Yes. I wondered about that too. I am quite a gentle soul but there were times in the months after dday when I became a screaming harpy. It does make you wonder how much **** she has had to swallow over the years.

[PinkSunset]

Gem,

 

I apologize if this has been addressed already, I didn't read every post.

 

My MM's wife sounds a lot like yours. I think I might recommend he start recording her as well.

I just wanted to ask, does she know he is living with you? Is she aware of the affair at all?

[ladydesigner]

He's still here with me at my place, the week went well and he attended his kids sports games throughout the week. He's still committed to being the father he has always been.

 

There are a lot of replies in here about my statement that he was suffering abuse. Most replies were very well thought out, and I appreciate them all - whether you believe or not, and the reasons for why. It is difficult to understand for myself, but I only have what he tells me to go on. But to call him a weak man? That one was way out of line and ignorant.

 

I was not there - and yes, I heard recordings of rages about stupid things - for example, one in particular was a 30 minute tirade over getting the wrong laundry detergent - he got cold wash detergent and they already had it. Because of this he was the "stupidest person ever" and "why can't he get ANYTHING right" and then of course a loud bang when she threw the detergent across the room and he asks her why she would do that. He only began to record these to protect himself in case she follow through on threats to call the police on him.

 

As for the children, he believes she's a good mother and says she doesn't do those rages to the kids - just typical parenting.

 

Whoa yeah her rages are really strange. I rage at my WH but he really is a stupid idiot for what he has done and continues to do to his life. I don't feel bad one iota.

 

OP most people who are abused become weak from the abuse. They get battered down and start to believe all the negative things being said about them. Is your MM in his own therapy for the abuse?