Author pushmug Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 well , i can honestly say that i am to blame for him keeping silly things from me like deleting a group chat just because shes in it or hiding that she gave him a ride ...he DID tell me about it after keeping it from me for 3 months . from day one i was super jealous , id get jealous if he took pictures with girls even in groups ...or if he added a girl on facebook ..i can go crazy...i used go nuts if i caught him looking at a magazine with bikini model on it ... i was horrible but i changed (still jealous though) .so i kind of understand . Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 pushmug, When my (ex)H was cheating he wanted more sex, not less, and this is what made me suspicious. Apparently he told his AP that his marriage was practically sexless, as he didn't fancy me anymore as I'd got fat. ( I am 5'3" tall and at the time weighed about 126lbs) She must've got a shock when she finally saw me and realised that I wasn't a lard-@r$e OMG, my friends husband had an affair on her and she was floored because he wanted sex twice a day during the affair. She couldn't believe it when she found out he was cheating. Why do they do this? I think the affair makes them think they are some kind of stud or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pushmug Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 OMG, my friends husband had an affair on her and she was floored because he wanted sex twice a day during the affair. She couldn't believe it when she found out he was cheating. Why do they do this? I think the affair makes them think they are some kind of stud or something. oh dear then how does a person know ????? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 oh dear then how does a person know ????? There are many, many signs that a partner is cheating. you can google that to find some. From what you've written here, your husband is not displaying any of them. Hiding messages is one sign but there's another, perfectly reasonable explanation for why he is doing that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pushmug Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 yes .. that is true . i know its me . and i constantly looking for clues its driving me crazy...i have no hard evidence AT ALL. thing is , i need to trust him to be able to let this go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pushmug Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 okay so now he comes back from work , hugs me , happy to see me and tells me today im in an amazing mood ... so first thing on my mind is "why is he in a good mood ? is because u were with her all day ? did she do something nice for you " i mean .. from where am i getting this why am i like this ??? how do you shake these thoughts off what i would normally do was badger him with questions all night ( why are u in a good mood ? did you play foosball with her ? did have lunch with her ? did you talk alot today ? what did u talk about ? ) Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 (edited) Holy moly OP - I don't know why he puts up with this [] You badger him about being in a good mood!? Poor guy, you really need to get yourself under control. Edited April 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9999 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 I suspect that it is much more difficult for people to have an emotional affair (heart with someone else) and keep acting "in love" with their partner....than it is to have enthusiastic sex or even sexual thoughts about two people. If is just sex it is very easy for a man to compartmentalize. If emotions come in its still possible, but harder. When a guy is having an affair he become hyper sexual and more horney then ever and wants sex constantly! Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Push, The literature says the overwhelming number of men who enter affairs have no intention of leaving their wife. Men enter affairs for sex primarily. So in answer to your question, your husband can be having great sex with you and have a girlfriend on the side. Women's brains work differently, I think most agree on that. The majority of the literature says that women enter affairs primarily for emotional reasons ( the old ego kibbles), and that the sex generally follows. It also says women are in most cases somewhat checked out of the marriage before the sex starts. As far as your comment about not being able to have sex with your husband if you were cheating. Women who cheat fall into two categories. COMPARTMENTALIZERS are able to carry on a perfectly normal home life and maintain a torrid sex life with their OM. NON COMPARTMENTALIZERS ( which is what you seem to be) have to normally find something wrong to demonize their husband in order to justify that they deserve their affair because their husband is horrible. Hence the no interest in husband sexually and constant finding of all his faults. These types are usually easier to catch because there are more red flags. So if you think something is going on, trust your gut and do not think because he has sex with you regularly your are in the clear. Link to post Share on other sites
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