Girlfriend with hands all over other womans husband

[jss187]

I've been dating a woman for several years, this friend of someone I know tells my friend a story about how she was out with her husband one night and my Girlfriend had her hands all over her husband so much so she wanted to punch her in the face. Says there is something wrong with her. The wife whose husband my girlfriend was apparently molesting is a kindergarten teacher, well respected, and wouldn't make this up or exaggerate. WTF ? This incident and other weird episodes make this more than a one-time thing. What is this girl problem exactly ? I have never seen someone with a weird hand,flirt, laugh at everything a guys says, too close when engaging a guy ? issues. Don't mention confronting her, she has weird excuses too. She had her hands all over a college security guard once and she told me she just wanted to thank him for watching out for her son when he was at college. And there's more, some guy at her gym puts her weights away for her when she's done with her class. She said she can't stop him, if he wants to do it he can do it. So I know this all sounds bad , but WTF is wrong with her exactly ? Help, it's passive aggressive, she's fine most times and other times she engages in the behavior.

[ExpatInItaly]

She likes the attention and has very inappropriate boundaries.

 

Since you won't confront her, this will probably just continue. By doing nothing, you're tacitly accepting it.

 

If you want it to stop, make it clear that you will walk the next time it happens. Do you really want a girlfriend who is so handsy with other men?

[GorillaTheater]

Question: you've been dating her for years. Have you ever seen this kind of behavior for yourself?

[Space Ritual]

So I know this all sounds bad , but WTF is wrong with her exactly ?

 

Sorry but more like WTF is wrong with you to put up with this.

 

Law of 3's applies here kid.

 

One time might be a mistake

2 times might be poor judgement

3 times is you have a disaster waiting to happen

 

Don't give your time, affection or money to a 3 timer.

 

 

Sorry to be harsh here, but I see so many people come here that want to look for any excuse they can to stay with someone who is treating them poorly, either because they love them or they are scared of the unknown.

 

If you have been putting up with this over several years you are probably feeling like you can't do any better. You can. Being alone is preferable to being with someone who treats you like crap.

 

f you got this story form a person and you had not known about it,imagine what other incidents you don't know of.

 

RUN AWAY!

Edited April 26, 2016 by Space Ritual

[jss187]

I witnessed the security guard incident and we had a knock down drag out about it. I'm guessing she toned it down in front of me but who knows what she's up to when I'm not there. Inappropriate Boundaries is exactly what it is. Jekyll and Hyde when she drinks. The story is much longer and colorful, she's divorced twice. Once some lady called her cell and sent a letter to her house telling her to stop seeing her husband. She passed it off as a kook, but she changed her cell number.

[GorillaTheater]

I witnessed the security guard incident and we had a knock down drag out about it. I'm guessing she toned it down in front of me but who knows what she's up to when I'm not there. Inappropriate Boundaries is exactly what it is. Jekyll and Hyde when she drinks. The story is much longer and colorful, she's divorced twice. Once some lady called her cell and sent a letter to her house telling her to stop seeing her husband. She passed it off as a kook, but she changed her cell number.

 

 

Okay, thanks. In that case, I'm on board with the others. That sh*t wouldn't work for me, either.

[d0nnivain]

She's a touchy feely person. You either deal with it, as you have for the past few years you have been dating her or you break up with her. She's not going to change her tactile nature at this point in her life.

[ExpatInItaly]

I witnessed the security guard incident and we had a knock down drag out about it. I'm guessing she toned it down in front of me but who knows what she's up to when I'm not there. Inappropriate Boundaries is exactly what it is. Jekyll and Hyde when she drinks. The story is much longer and colorful, she's divorced twice. Once some lady called her cell and sent a letter to her house telling her to stop seeing her husband. She passed it off as a kook, but she changed her cell number.

 

And yet...you're still there.

 

Why?

[Keke1]

And yet...you're still there.

 

Why?

 

I was thinking the same thing. Like does it really matter if she's just going to continue to do this while you sit around and stew? Then just continue the relationship after the simmering down.

 

OP let it go or let her go. Probably been acting in that manner her whole life. Bad habits that go on this long are hard to change

Edited April 26, 2016 by Keke1

[Space Ritual]

I witnessed the security guard incident and we had a knock down drag out about it. I'm guessing she toned it down in front of me but who knows what she's up to when I'm not there. Inappropriate Boundaries is exactly what it is. Jekyll and Hyde when she drinks. The story is much longer and colorful, she's divorced twice. Once some lady called her cell and sent a letter to her house telling her to stop seeing her husband. She passed it off as a kook, but she changed her cell number.

 

 

OK based on this in my mind there are basically only 2 reasons you stay with her.

 

1. A steady piece of ass

2. You don't think you can do any better

 

Neither are true. Because based on what you just wrote, if she had her choice she would be a steady piece of ass for any guy she rubbed up on.

 

And you ARE so much better and CAN do much better on this.

 

You ever heard the old joke Andrew Dice Clay used o tell about his Girlfriend loving sex "as long as it was with a friend of his"?

 

Seriously man, if your best friend told you this story would you not say "Get the hell out of there".

 

No one here would fault you for running screaming into the night. she is showing you who she is. Believe her!

[drifter777]

Much of what you say describes a woman with Histrionic Personality Disorder. Look it up & see how much of it fits.

 

The prognosis for Histrionic's isn't very good. If this is her than she can get better with boundaries and be conscious of her overly flirtatious behavior and try to reign it in but it takes a lot of work and you will suffer a lot of collateral damage in the process. In other words, she will cheat in order to keep other guys drooling over her and that only gets worse as she gets older.

[jss187]

Histrionics describes her touchy feely pathetic flirting personality to a tee when it surfaces. The other half of that personality is a quiet introvert, who uncomfortably stares at people, mostly men of course to the point where I confront her about that and she tells me she's just listening to his conversation so she can learn something. See it's not that simple its a combination of F'd up personality traits that is making me think I'm losing my mind. Of course she tells me I have the problem.

[Space Ritual]

Of course she tells you that it's your problem...and it will be if you don't dump her....it will be your problem for as long as you are with her. Let her be some other poor sap's problem.

 

Seriously man, can you not see this is a total no brainer? I don't care how much time you have invested it is a waste of your time and this wont stop.

 

 

Call it any type of disorder you want, the end result is that you are being played for a sucker and eventually some guy is going to take her up on her Full Body Jazz Hands routine. So do yourself a favor and end it now so you don't come back here in 6 months with a Thread that begins with Well guys, you were right".....

 

Continue this relationship at your own peril.

[usa1ah]

And you are still with her why? I can understand why she has been divorced twice. I would never put up with my wife doing this.