Curious.

[Geminix004]

Hello world, This is my break up story. I met this wonderful woman, we dated for a month before sleeping together. Everything was running smooth until she told me that her child's fathers was still trying to get back with her and what not. I felt like I was giving in too much so I decided to cut communication. One day lead to, two weeks without communication. When I decided to check up on her she was very mad and told me she was dissapointed with me. She insists that we shouldn't talk and that she wanted a man that was gonna stick close for ever. I apologized and told her what she meant to me. She's been ignoring my calls and text while I know that she has feelings for me. It seems like she's throwing everything away and going against her feelings . When I know for a fact that she enjoyed me just as much as I did her. I want to get her back but it seems like she's going on so I've decided to do the no contact rule and see what happens.

[Satu]

Hello world, This is my break up story. I met this wonderful woman, we dated for a month before sleeping together. Everything was running smooth until *she told me that her child's fathers was still trying to get back with her and what not. I felt like I was giving in too much so I decided to cut communication. One day lead to, two weeks without communication. When I decided to check up on her she was very mad and told me she was disappointed with me. **She insists that we shouldn't talk and that she wanted a man that was gonna stick close for ever. I apologized and told her what she meant to me. She's been ignoring my calls and text while I know that she has feelings for me. It seems like she's throwing everything away and ***going against her feelings . When I know for a fact that she enjoyed me just as much as I did her. I want to get her back but it seems like she's going on so I've decided to do the no contact rule and see what happens.

 

*Until the business with her ex is sorted out, she's a very poor prospect for anyone.

 

**In the light of that, you shouldn't contact her again.

 

***No, she isn't. She feels it would be better not to be in contact with you.

 

She just doesn't want what you want.

 

Sorry.

 

 

Take care.

[Geminix004]

I know. It's crazy how women seem to be in "love" one day then they're flying away like the wind.

[BikerAccnt]

When you cut communication, did you talk to her and let her know, or did you just disappear?

 

 

If you just disappeared, or didn't explain your reasoning/concerns, I can see where she'd be upset. And just because her ex was talking/trying to get back with her, doesn't mean anything much. Any more than ex-boyfriends trying to get back with their ex-girls.

 

 

People are ex's for a reason.

[mightycpa]

...until she told me that her child's fathers was still trying to get back with her and what not. I felt like I was giving in too much so I decided to cut communication.

He was trying to get back with her? What exactly is "what not"? I'm not sure what "giving in" means. Was she sleeping with him to try it on for size again, or did you want her to cut off all contact with the father, and she couldn't do that because it was his right to see the child?

 

You left a lot of space between you did what was reasonable and you were just an insecure *******.

 

While you're not talking, you might work on your communication skills. Here. By telling us.

[Geminix004]

He was trying to get back with her? What exactly is "what not"? I'm not sure what "giving in" means. Was she sleeping with him to try it on for size again, or did you want her to cut off all contact with the father, and she couldn't do that because it was his right to see the child?

 

You left a lot of space between you did what was reasonable and you were just an insecure *******.

 

While you're not talking, you might work on your communication skills. Here. By telling us.

 

 

 

Maybe I did mess up. She did try to contact me during the 2 weeks but I told her everything was ok when it really wasn't. I feel like i los a great person to be with, I take responsibly but it's so extreme of her to just put a wall in front of me just like that. In the past this has happened to me but people usually talk about what happened instead of just saying bye bye

[LD1990]

Maybe I did mess up. She did try to contact me during the 2 weeks but I told her everything was ok when it really wasn't. I feel like i los a great person to be with, I take responsibly but it's so extreme of her to just put a wall in front of me just like that. In the past this has happened to me but people usually talk about what happened instead of just saying bye bye

 

Isn't that exactly what you did for two weeks? Only you were even worse, because you mislead her about things being alright whereas she has at least been upfront with you.

 

Also, you still haven't explained what exactly was going on with her and her ex that made you so mad.

[mightycpa]

Because we're shooting in the dark, I'm going to offer you this. Sometimes, when you're going out with somebody, everything seems hunky-dory until one day, you do something that reminds them of somebody in their life. It could be an ex, or a parent, or somebody that meant a lot to them, and that person disappointed them with the same behavior you just exhibited. In my experience, whenever they see that and they associate the two things as being the same behavior, it's over. It's like a switch gets flipped and there is no coming back from it. They won't explain it to you either. You have been stereotyped, and that's that. To them, it's like you turned into that person. To you, it's like they've turned into somebody else.

 

This is usually stuff like lying or drinking or drugs or violence, but in your case, it could be the way you handled this that sent her over that edge.

[Geminix004]

Because we're shooting in the dark, I'm going to offer you this. Sometimes, when you're going out with somebody, everything seems hunky-dory until one day, you do something that reminds them of somebody in their life. It could be an ex, or a parent, or somebody that meant a lot to them, and that person disappointed them with the same behavior you just exhibited. In my experience, whenever they see that and they associate the two things as being the same behavior, it's over. It's like a switch gets flipped and there is no coming back from it. They won't explain it to you either. You have been stereotyped, and that's that. To them, it's like you turned into that person. To you, it's like they've turned into somebody else.

 

This is usually stuff like lying or drinking or drugs or violence, but in your case, it could be the way you handled this that sent her over that edge.

 

 

 

This sounds like what happened. Still it's hard to accept how she decided to just quit it. She didn't bother even talking in person which also shows what type of person she is. I came out honest recognized that I had f**** up but she made her decision. For all I know she already has somebody. Crazy world.

[Been]

Consider yourself lucky. Until she resolves the issue with the father of her child the odds would be stacked against you. And the fact she told you that alarms me.

[Geminix004]

Consider yourself lucky. Until she resolves the issue with the father of her child the odds would be stacked against you. And the fact she told you that alarms me.

 

 

 

What do you mean ??

[Geminix004]

My ex an I haven't talked in 3 weeks, I went NC after she didn't bother talking in person. We never really had a crazy fight or ended in bad terms. Would it be wrong to see how she is doing? In the end we are friends, but does it matter anymore? I just want to see if she is ok. I've gone on with my life, I'm not hoping to get back, I have my feet on the ground but like I said just want to see if she is ok. But then again I don't want to break NC, and she hasn't bothered checking up on me either.

[TaraMaiden2]

Which 'ex' do you mean?

The one with kids, or the other one, with the sensitivity issue....?

 

Either way, I would say definitely not.

If she's made no moves towards you, I'd keep it mutual.

[Geminix004]

Which 'ex' do you mean?

The one with kids, or the other one, with the sensitivity issue....?

 

Either way, I would say definitely not.

If she's made no moves towards you, I'd keep it mutual.

 

The one with kids is the same person with the sensitive issue. Really? I mean like I said there's no point in going back if there is no interest but only to see if she is ok? After all there's nothing personal here just life ...

[TaraMaiden2]

The one with kids is the same person with the sensitive issue. Really? I mean like I said there's no point in going back if there is no interest but only to see if she is ok? After all there's nothing personal here just life ...

 

I hate to say it, but if she's ok, there's no point checking. As far as you know, she's fine.

If she's ok, she's not going to contact you to say, "By the way, I'm ok!"

If she's not ok, she might tell you she's not ok.

If she's not ok, and she doesn't tell you, then she isn't interested in telling you, or your help, or even just your sympathy.

 

So as you can see, there's no point contacting her.

If she wants you to know anything about her - SHE will tell YOU.

 

You don't need to go checking.

[Geminix004]

I hate to say it, but if she's ok, there's no point checking. As far as you know, she's fine.

If she's ok, she's not going to contact you to say, "By the way, I'm ok!"

If she's not ok, she might tell you she's not ok.

If she's not ok, and she doesn't tell you, then she isn't interested in telling you, or your help, or even just your sympathy.

 

So as you can see, there's no point contacting her.

If she wants you to know anything about her - SHE will tell YOU.

 

You don't need to go checking.

 

 

 

I'll stick to your advice. Logic makes sense

[Zahara]

My ex an I haven't talked in 3 weeks, I went NC after she didn't bother talking in person. We never really had a crazy fight or ended in bad terms. Would it be wrong to see how she is doing? In the end we are friends, but does it matter anymore? I just want to see if she is ok. I've gone on with my life, I'm not hoping to get back, I have my feet on the ground but like I said just want to see if she is ok. But then again I don't want to break NC, and she hasn't bothered checking up on me either.

 

No, you're not friends. If you have to post on a forum to ask people if it's a good idea to speak to an ex, then no, it's not a good idea to contact or categorize your relationship as platonic.

 

A week ago you wanted to get her back. Hard to be believe the comment in bold. Most times we tend to talk ourselves into believing that to justify making contact, when clearly it isn't the case. Stay NC.

 

She's a grown woman and is able to take care of herself. If something isn't okay, she'll let you know. Her silence is a response. Keep moving forward -- you need to detach from this situation -- it doesn't seem like you're at a stage where you can handle contact.

[Trinity_84]

In my experience, whenever they see that and they associate the two things as being the same behavior, it's over.

 

ha, this is so right. As soon as I find qualities in my partners that resemble the bad qualities of my dad, I run for the hills.