My ex boyfriend may have broken me

[Ashleynicole02]

I'm going to be very honest in this post because I've finally decided to pick myself up and I'm admitting now that my actions were shameful

I was dating this guy long term.... Throughout our relationship he changed me....he was like my first real relationship.... We work together and everyone knew about us....he dumped me back in December for another girl. She happens to be his buddys ex gf of 7 years. I was hurt and appalled that neither her or him had any shame or morals or like guy code etc....

 

She messaged me to tell me he's with her now and how hideous I am. So I just blocked her. I felt really hurt because him and her are very open on Facebook. They're always saying "I love you" "I miss you" "you're so beautiful" "I'm so lucky" Etc.... So it's humiliating as well because everyone from work can see. He didn't post that way about me at all. So naturally I feel like I wasn't pretty enough or good enough. Some people tell me that the Facebook thing is just a facade and that just because they're doing that doesn't mean they're truly happy. It still hurts me. I messaged him to tell him he hurt me and he only said "I dare you to message me again"

 

At work we ignored eachother for months and then he approached me to tell me that he misses me and he started actively pursuing me Everytime he seen me. To the point where coworkers noticed. I told him to leave me alone over and over and he'd still try. I blocked him on everything and even told HR. They said we'd have to work together and learn to be civil. We ended up being assigned together a few times and we were getting along. He started pouring his heart out telling me how much he missed me and he regrets leaving me and how much he and her have problems. He begged me to start an "affair" with him. He created a fake number from his cell phone so that he wouldn't get caught. I only agreed to it because I was miserable and missed him.

 

We started seeing eachother literally every week. We messed around a lot. We started to argue like a couple. We got into a huge arguments like every day. Finally I told him he isn't worth the headache..... This was our last conversation because this is when I decided to be happy again fully without him. One morning I was curious and did some Facebook snooping idk why but I noticed a day his gf posted a new pic he commented on it saying "baby you are soooo freaking beautiful and I am so lucky" this was the same day he asked me to have the affair with him.... This confuses me because if he loves her so much why even ask me. If he felt so lucky he should focus on making her feel lucky I guess. I deleted my Facebook and deleted him from Instagram and snaptchat and everything.

 

I just want to be healthy and start my life over. I work for an airline so I plan on traveling a lot and keeping myself busy. Also I've started doing activities like yoga and trying to stay positive. Idk why I can't erase this man from my life.... Especially when I know he's a piece of ****.

[TaraMaiden2]

You CAN erase this man from your life precisely BECAUSE he is a piece of s**t.

 

He's a two-timing, degenerate cheat.

You should tell his GF about his messages and suggestions. Hope you still have everything (messages, evidence) to hand.

Then lay low, ignore everything, do not even so much as glance at Fb and live your life.

 

Goodness me, hun, you're not attached to this by an umbilical cord. You're your own woman.

Get a grip. take charge of yourself and don't give in to his juvenile, petty-minded simpleton games!

[Ashleynicole02]

You CAN erase this man from your life precisely BECAUSE he is a piece of s**t.

 

He's a two-timing, degenerate cheat.

You should tell his GF about his messages and suggestions. Hope you still have everything (messages, evidence) to hand.

Then lay low, ignore everything, do not even so much as glance at Fb and live your life.

 

Goodness me, hun, you're not attached to this by an umbilical cord. You're your own woman.

Get a grip. take charge of yourself and don't give in to his juvenile, petty-minded simpleton games!

 

I told her and she said "he hasn't been with you for awhile. I'm not stupid...." And she told me I'm insecure she said it was me and her ex BF (his friend) trying to break them up

[TaraMaiden2]

I told her and she said "he hasn't been with you for awhile. I'm not stupid...." And she told me I'm insecure she said it was me and her ex BF (his friend) trying to break them up

 

Ok.

Well rise above it, salvage your dignity and have no more to do with either of them.

 

You know that guy who lives at number 237? The one with the dog? Do you know what he does all day?

Who he's married to? You know.... the guy with the blue car...?

 

No....?

 

That's how vague you should be about this jerk and his unfortunate lady friend.

Unfortunate, because, if he can do it to you - he will, I promise, do it to her....

[dreamingoftigers]

Why did he do that?

 

Because that's what cheaters do!

 

They play with people for their own gratification and tell themselves "oh look how I great I am, I got 2" ( or 3 or 4)

 

It's kind of like they view people as some kind of Real Estate that they can scope out and try to purchase with their genitals.

 

"Well, I can get the genitals over here, or not he genitals over there if I say nice words on her Facebook. Or if I compliment this girls hair, I could put my genitals over there. Wow. I've got a lot of Genital Property, and all it cost me was some time and nice words! I'm genitally rich! I'm awesome! Just look at my self-worth."

 

Cheaters dong judge self-worth by pesky things like morals or values, at least when they are actively cheating like your ex is. It's all about 'what impulse feels good today?' Almost like flavors of ice cream or test driving a different car everyday.

 

So, in short, him being "with her" or "saying nice crap on her Facebook" is just a way to buy more Real Estate. It isn't this "special thing," even if he treats that Real Estate like his primary residence. He just knew that with her, that was the purchase price to get in the door. He probably thought "new girlfriend and that's exciting" was enough to satiate him. But then, gasp, it wasn't. Because when your self-worth is based on "new" "exciting" "as much as you can get" then you are NEVER satiated.

 

So he thought he would get with you at the same time. Plus, the more challenging the conquest, the more exciting the thrill to pull it off. And you didn't want him back at first. So that was a thrill. "Look what I can do! I can get back with my ex, which is risky and my gf hates her. But man, those two properties would be such a treat."

 

So....... Clearly you aren't happy with this stupidity.

So find someone that isn't stupid like him and "trust that he sucks." He does. None of what he's done is a measure of your quality as a gf or human being. It only shows how vapid and stupid he is. Let him play in the mud, you go shower off and freshen up for someone much more respectable.

 

You aren't "broken," you are hurt because you took something that meant something to you (intimacy) and shared it with someone who might as well have farted on it for all of the decency they've shown. Don't throw pearls before swine. They only trample them down.

[Ashleynicole02]

Ugh and I have to work with him today ??

[Ashleynicole02]

Why did he do that?

 

Because that's what cheaters do!

 

They play with people for their own gratification and tell themselves "oh look how I great I am, I got 2" ( or 3 or 4)

 

It's kind of like they view people as some kind of Real Estate that they can scope out and try to purchase with their genitals.

 

"Well, I can get the genitals over here, or not he genitals over there if I say nice words on her Facebook. Or if I compliment this girls hair, I could put my genitals over there. Wow. I've got a lot of Genital Property, and all it cost me was some time and nice words! I'm genitally rich! I'm awesome! Just look at my self-worth."

 

Cheaters dong judge self-worth by pesky things like morals or values, at least when they are actively cheating like your ex is. It's all about 'what impulse feels good today?' Almost like flavors of ice cream or test driving a different car everyday.

 

So, in short, him being "with her" or "saying nice crap on her Facebook" is just a way to buy more Real Estate. It isn't this "special thing," even if he treats that Real Estate like his primary residence. He just knew that with her, that was the purchase price to get in the door. He probably thought "new girlfriend and that's exciting" was enough to satiate him. But then, gasp, it wasn't. Because when your self-worth is based on "new" "exciting" "as much as you can get" then you are NEVER satiated.

 

So he thought he would get with you at the same time. Plus, the more challenging the conquest, the more exciting the thrill to pull it off. And you didn't want him back at first. So that was a thrill. "Look what I can do! I can get back with my ex, which is risky and my gf hates her. But man, those two properties would be such a treat."

 

So....... Clearly you aren't happy with this stupidity.

So find someone that isn't stupid like him and "trust that he sucks." He does. None of what he's done is a measure of your quality as a gf or human being. It only shows how vapid and stupid he is. Let him play in the mud, you go shower off and freshen up for someone much more respectable.

 

You aren't "broken," you are hurt because you took something that meant something to you (intimacy) and shared it with someone who might as well have farted on it for all of the decency they've shown. Don't throw pearls before swine. They only trample them down.

 

 

I have to work with him today!! Idk how to handle it

[TaraMaiden2]

I have to work with him today!! Idk how to handle it

 

I already suggested you read the NC Guide. There is a paragraph near the bottom which quite clearly outlines a strategy for situations where SOME contact is inevitable.

Providing YOU stick to it, that's all that matters.

[Ashleynicole02]

I already suggested you read the NC Guide. There is a paragraph near the bottom which quite clearly outlines a strategy for situations where SOME contact is inevitable.

Providing YOU stick to it, that's all that matters.

 

Sorry!! I just went to the post and found the part where it outlines the part that pertains to me. I didn't notice it in your first response