Inappropriate comments at work

[getsmartie]

Hi all,

 

I want to get this off my chest because it's something that happens once in awhile in my work place.

 

First off I am a confident 50 year old personal trainer but not just a PT also a Fitness Director so I wear many hats within the business. I will also point out that I work in a high end facility and most members are quite wealthy.

 

This morning I walk past 3 men who are members, as I past by them I say good morning...of course they know who I am. Two say gm back and the third says did you say you were horny? WTF?? I was surprised so I didn't respond to him.

 

I'm tired of this pack man mentality. He would never had said that if he were alone.

 

This is not the first time I've had inappropriate comments, things like you have a great ass and one client I dropped because I was always on his mind when he lays down in bed...too boot he's married and I used to train his wife.

 

Unfortunatley we have no HR department so other than to speak to my boss about this I don't know how to approach this.

 

My bf is more than willing to come in and have a chat with him but seriously this is not what I want.

 

What to do?!!

[rester]

One technique that I've seen work very well, is you look them right in the eye, and tell them very sternly, "That was very rude."

 

And then walk away and if it happens again report the member.

 

Or report them anyway. Since you have some clout there, I would expect the gym would not take too kindly to members making comments like that towards you. There must be some rules of conduct they agreed to when signing up for membership.

 

Another option is to ask your boss for advice, as they would know the atmosphere better than any of us could.

[Zapbasket]

This really angers me. You shouldn't have to put up with something like that where you work--no woman should. Furthermore, in your position you certainly carry some weight. I think you take matters into your own hands. If someone says something inappropriate like that (I mean, that is egregious, what he said to you!), you face him head-on, and sternly say, "WHAT did you say?" Doubtful he'll repeat it again. If he has the nerve to repeat his comment, you say, "That is absolutely inappropriate and disgusting. You are a pig."

 

And THEN go report the encounter to someone--a higher-up or a peer, just so they have your side of the story first in case the guy tries to get you in trouble.

 

This is not something any woman in any position should ever put up with. As a teenager already along in a particular career, a benefactor made sexual advances on me and I not only told him off, I also returned what he gave me and told him that if he ever said such a thing to me again, I'd tell our whole professional circle all about it. I never spoke to him again and it didn't affect my ability to advance in my work. People who stoop to say such things anyway, are well-recognized by others to be the low-lifes they are...it's just that few have the courage to come out and say so.

[angel.eyes]

The problem with most gyms is staff turnover is very high, even of their managerial staff. Yet gyms never have problems filling vacancies immediately.

 

In an ideal world, you should be able to go to your boss and have him or her reprimand the client. The problem with places like gyms is, unless you complain in writing/email (i.e. document a hostile work environment and management's refusal to remedy the situation), gyms most likely will do nothing.

 

Personally since the guy is being verbally rude, I would just handle it myself. A smart retort or better yet, just a cold stare and ignoring him afterwards tends to do be very effective at preventing that type of behavior recurring-- from either the original culprit, or other guys who observe it, and may be tempted to try their luck themselves.

[getsmartie]

Thanks guys. I know I have to speak up and at least report the incident. Though I tend to be a conflict avoider I'm so bothered by these rude and piggish comments.

 

I've been in the business so long and I guess the stares and inappropriate comments become part of the nature of my business....still this needs to come to a halt!

[SammySammy]

What will you do if it doesn't come to a halt?

[getsmartie]

The problem with most gyms is staff turnover is very high, even of their managerial staff. Yet gyms never have problems filling vacancies immediately.

 

In an ideal world, you should be able to go to your boss and have him or her reprimand the client. The problem with places like gyms is, unless you complain in writing/email (i.e. document a hostile work environment and management's refusal to remedy the situation), gyms most likely will do nothing.

 

Personally since the guy is being verbally rude, I would just handle it myself. A smart retort or better yet, just a cold stare and ignoring him afterwards tends to do be very effective at preventing that type of behavior recurring-- from either the original culprit, or other guys who observe it, and may be tempted to try their luck themselves.

 

We are not like most gyms. We are a high end gym and the turn over for staff is very low. I've been in my position for 15 years and most of our staff has been there even longer.

 

Even though I was shocked by his comment I did give him a cold stare and never responded to him. I need to nip this in the butt.

[getsmartie]

What will you do if it doesn't come to a halt?

 

Well I have a right to feel safe in my workplace so I will escalate this to the owner.

[Got it]

Report it to the owner/upper management. It is against US law to be sexual harassed at work by employees, customers, or vendors. This is a clear cut case of it and needs to be taken care of.

 

http://www.eeoc.gov

[preraph]

Is there nothing in the contract that says this type behavior isn't tolerated in members? If not, maybe there should be so you can simply hand him a copy with the pertinent clause highlighted. But yes, you should have said something stern back to him, "I don't appreciate being talked to disrespectfully" or anything along those lines. I would ask the boss what to do also, but if he tells you to tolerate it, then it's up to you to say that since it's personal and not business, you will handle it your way.

 

And it certainly wouldn't surprise me if a male boss didn't suggest you ignore it. And I'm sure a lot of gyms hire men and women for their looks and fitness because it makes it a more popular meat market.