Just an observation

[drgnflybethany]

Just an observation - but you men are the most patient people.

 

I keep reading on here about how you men/boys/guys/whatever like a girl for years - literally years.

 

This goes contrary to everything else I've ever heard in my life... about how if a guy likes you - he makes it well known and very obvious very quickly.

 

I know that men are created differently - that is to say that there are some men that will let you know right away, whereas others take forever... HOWEVER, it just seems to me that the older you get, the more you are attracted to someone - as in, you are seeking a relationship, the longer you take to go about things...

 

Whereas - if you only want sex, then you're quite obvious about it.

 

Am I completely off base here?

 

HELP!

[Curt]

Julia,

 

This is somewhat the case for a lot of older guys (30's, etc.). I think that, after we've reached a certain level of maturity and know what we're looking for in a woman, we'= "scope out" the situation for a fair while. We may take forever... we assess carefully.

 

Strange to me that so many women think that if a guy just doesn't sorta "fall all over her" in the first few minutes of catching her attention, that he's not interested that much in her anyhow.

 

What utter silliness in my opinion. Wouldn't show much for us if we did do that anyway, I don't think.

 

Curt

[drgnflybethany]

First thing - my name is not Julia.... no offense taken, though..

 

For the current spectrum of women thinking that if a man doesn't fall head over heels in the first meeting, I blame the new book, "He's Not That Into You."

 

I've just heard it from a lot of people - and that's where the single - or newly single person feels kind of funny, when he's not following you home and sending roses, etc...

 

Just wish I could figure men out.

[Curt]

I read the name Julia from another thread just before I read your post, and it appears that it stuck in my brain for some reason. Sorry.

 

In response to your post about that book...I think it is one of the most harmful books that we have on the shelves today.

 

I just sincerely hope that women look at the book with some critical analysis. There have been a number of posts devoted to it in this forum, and, I would imagine, many other forums as well. Far too many good women appear to see this as some kind of guide for relationships with men ... and I believe that the only thing it is good for ... is to help muddy the water for both men and women.

 

I have asked it before, and I shall ask it again. Where is the independent, intelligent confident, yet warm-hearted women that I truly believe all decent men yearn for?

 

Just my two cents.

 

Curt

[drgnflybethany]

Well, Curt - I was completely screwed over by an ex-husband.

 

I was devoted to him, to his career. I offered to have his friends over many, many times. He never touched me, never helped me emotionally... (which is the best way I can phrase it...)

 

Confident is always hard to accomplish in the field of women - as too confident turns men off, not confident enough ensures we get abusive jerks.

 

Independent is also tricky... how much independence is too much - as too much turns off all the gentlemen and not enough ensures your trapped in his world...

 

Warm-hearted - well... I'm always warm-hearted - wish I could turn it off sometimes, but that's just who I am. I'm so warm-hearted that I'm worried that the ex that screwed me over is about to get hurt by the woman he's seeing, b/c she's got another boyfriend she hasn't broken off with the first one yet.

 

My problem - well - I have another post up - too much intelligence... and now, I want an emotionally connected, well-adjusted, ambitious man who just wants to cut out the games...