Drowning in unwanted art from artist MIL!

[Cephalopod]

Look for a restaurant or business in town that has a decor that matches those paintings. Then ask the proprietor if you can "display" some of your MIL's work on a loan basis, so that her work can be displayed for all to see. Put her name on a card under each painting so that, if someone likes what they see they can contact your MIL and ask her to sell or ask her to do a commission.

 

This way you both win. You get the paintings out of your hair and your MIL gets the exposure and PR.

[BettyDraper]

The type of art you describe is not my favorite either so I understand your dilemma and it would be difficult for me to hang artwork in my home that I don't love.

 

However, since you have eclectic taste, in your place if she continues to give you art I would hang one or two pieces of hers and find something about it (them) to rave about, if at all emotionally possible for you to do. You could also mention your eclectic taste to her and let her know you look forward to displaying a mix of styles in your home but that her paintings will always have a special place in your heart.

 

When she's present and others visit your home I would make it a priority to point out her work and brag on it.

 

Making your MIL, the woman whose life made your husband's existence possible, feel as if you treasure her artwork doesn't have to include filling your house with it. But, it will go miles and miles toward your future happiness, and your husband's appreciation for you, if she believes you want her work in your home.

 

Just my opinion.

 

There are many things we all do in this life we don't particularly feel inclined to do, but we do them knowing we will reap rewards for doing so.

 

This. You can compromise by hanging one or two pictures and then asking your fiance to talk to his mother about easing up on the painting gifts.

[BettyDraper]

I have to reopen this post because...well, we just moved into our new house and sure enough, she has already mentioned to my fiancé, "Ooooh, one of the paintings would look great over the fireplace" and "All these empty walls for my paintings!" Multiple times. Each time he has said, "Yeah, maybe, but right now we want to be free to take the style in any direction we want, but thanks." It is my birthday today. I was expecting to receive yet another painting today - as sweet as it is I seriously get a painting and only a painting on every birthday and every holiday and at this point I have a least ten things that I feel obligated to hang up, as I mentioned in the original post. My fiancé went over to help her with something this morning and apparently this was the exchange:

 

MIL: What does X want for her birthday?

FIANCE: Hmm, I have a few ideas...let me think.

MIL: How about another one of my paintings?

FIANCE: Naw, I think she is stressed about figuring out the style of the house as we still haven't gotten started on decor yet and doesn't know the direction she wants to take. She does love bath bombs, though. How about bath bombs from Bath and Body Works?

MIL (in an apparently frustrated tone): I am NOT getting her bath bombs!

 

And that was the end of the exchange. My fiancé thought it was weird and so do I.

 

But it doesn't end there. She texted me later today and asked me how my birthday went. I mentioned that we went furniture shopping and that I have been stressed but am now feeling a lot better about how the house is going to look. She proceeded to say: "Is that why your lovely fiancé suggested we not give you a painting for your birthday because you guys haven't decided what to put on your walls????????!!!!!"

 

It was very passive aggressive and it put me in such an awkward situation. I feel very resentful because at this point I feel it is a control issue. She has a major issue with meddling and getting overly involved in things (she literally calls multiple times a day on weekends and is constantly asking my fiancé to come over and do random chores for her, constantly dropping things by, getting involved in all of our business), and I think the painting thing is another way of her exerting control. She has gotten the hint multiple times that for whatever reason, I am not a huge fan of getting paintings because they are not my style and I don't want to feel the obligation to hang them up. She gives me the gift she thinks I need to have (another one of HER paintings) instead buying a gift that is selected for ME and my tastes. It was very evident she doesn't like this when she scoffed at the bath bomb idea. It is hurtful.

 

Oh wow...sorry that I advised you to compromise because your MIL seems like a controlling woman.

 

The paintings are not a gift for you. They are a gift to her ego.

 

Your fiance needs to stand up to his mother in more ways than one.

[Driver]

Update: She came over to drop off food today for us and I thought maybe it would be a chance for her to redeem herself. I've always gotten her thoughtful gifts and cards for her birthday and holidays. She came over with nothing, not even a card or mention of my birthday, and when she was leaving she said "Well, so are you still super stressed about decorating your house? For your birthday I will be giving you one of my paintings. You have a lot of bare walls right now, so once you get some of the walls filled up with the other paintings we gave you let me know and will give you your birthday painting."

[angel.eyes]

You're both incredibly passive aggressive. Sorry, but you're no better than your mother-in-law. If you don't want her paintings on your walls, stop letting her believe your home has been one of her many art galleries.

 

Thank you! You are so sweet and generous to offer to help with our walls. But we have other ideas for the decor of our home. (End of conversation.)

 

Instead you've been giving her the impression for years that you display her paintings. Of course, you'll continue to get more since you have no apparent boundaries.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Update: She came over to drop off food today for us and I thought maybe it would be a chance for her to redeem herself. I've always gotten her thoughtful gifts and cards for her birthday and holidays. She came over with nothing, not even a card or mention of my birthday, and when she was leaving she said "Well, so are you still super stressed about decorating your house? For your birthday I will be giving you one of my paintings. You have a lot of bare walls right now, so once you get some of the walls filled up with the other paintings we gave you let me know and will give you your birthday painting."

 

There is still time to tell her that you appreciate the thought but you are going to pick your own art. You need to learn to stand up for yourself!

[Driver]

Angel Eyes - sorry, but how am I giving her the green light to decorate my walls with her paintings? Over the years when she has offered paintings I have mentioned things like - "Beautiful, but it's a little Western for my taste." My fiancé and I have BOTH said "We would like to be able to take our style of decor into any direction but thank you." I don't understand how, being short of rude, that isn't enough for her and I am being "passive aggressive" with her. I think the reality is she GETS at this point that I don't truly want a painting but SHE doesn't think that is acceptable. I have never once said "This painting is amazing for x area of my house" or "I would love to put a painting of yours over the fire place" or anything besides "Thanks for thinking of me" -- so no I don't think I am sending her the message that I want this. In fact I think any normal person would've gotten the hint already but she just doesn't. At this point what I've taken from all this is she can give me all the paintings she want but at this point they have such a negative connotation - they represent her trying to control me - that I am not even going to hang one of them. And when she asks I am going to say "I just found other things that suit my house more."

[beautifulinside2]

I liked the idea that one of the other people posted. I would hang 1 painting and let her know that one painting is all she will get. She can move it, change it sub it out for another but one hung is all she gets.