Why do women marry?

[wmacbride]

1) I have been married more than once.

2) I have step-parented more than once.

3) I have experience of parenting small children within a marriage, and outside of one.

4) I have experience of parenting older children within a marriage, and outside of one.

 

That sounds like you have been married several times

 

 

 

It's easy to have theories about how to successfully maintain a happy marriage and also how to raise children. Everybody has them. When the rubber hits the road, they may or may not work out, and the marriage fails.

 

Whatever your idea of how to maintain a successful marriage may have been the first time you were married didn't work out for you. I don't know if you married again between that time and your current marriage, but if you were, again, it didn't work out.

 

You identified yourself as having been a single parent. How much of the time , when your kids were small, were you actually married? Did you have step children at the time?

 

 

 

 

 

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[wmacbride]

Different values, is all. In the countries I've worked in universities and sent kids to study there, questions which privilege kids from wealthy backgrounds over kids from poorer backgrounds who would not have access to the range of extra murals you describe, would be disallowed on the grounds of equity. Instead, kids are asked to provide evidence of aptitudes, attributes and competencies, whoever these were developed. It could be having developed leadership from captaining the first team in Sailing at an expensive private school, or it could be having developed leadership from looking after younger siblings in an extended family in a disadvantaged neighbourhood. Both are considered valid.

 

Again, this is not the experience I have had.

 

Most schools here have extra circulars free of charge, or ask a small fee which is waived should there be a financial hardship. I have never seen an application that equated looking after younger sibling with leadership training.

 

That may be included in an application essay and given some weight, but not in the way you are describing.

[serial muse]

The intelligent learn from the mistakes of others.

 

If she wants my opinion, her problem is that she is swimming against the tide.

 

She needs to remain switched on, but learn to accept things as they are (not as she would have them be), quit worrying about the worlds problems, and focus on #1.

 

I think that some people find it a lot easier to chastise others than to look inward, though. Hell, most of us do.

[serial muse]

If us moving away from farming and the land was a good thing, then where is all this organic stuff and farmers market flare coming from? We eat crap full of hormones, pesticides and by the time it reaches the supermarket from the mass-produced companies, it's on the verge of spoiling.

 

Same for values that we used to have towards marriage and family. People diss stuff that they think can change with time. A man, child's needs don't change cuz this is 2016.

 

Yeah, well, that wasn't my argument. I was pointing out that farming and marriage are both antiquated, but the practices have evolved over centuries, because human beings. I don't know why you're bothering to talk about pesticides and hormones because none of that has anything to do with the point.

 

Anyway, I'm not really interested in defending an argument I didn't make. Which is something of a theme for this thread.

 

And in that vein

 

[]

 

Why is it so hard to make time for your man? When you were dating, you moved heaven and earth to make yourself available and cute for him. So, somehow that isn't a priority anymore?

Boggles my mind why women even bother to get married when what being a "wife" is the last thing on their minds; they see their husbands as controlling freaks trying to enslave them, so they must go out and work.

Oh, so the shack-ups, and "roommates/partners" thing going on now a days is better than that "antiquated institution"?

 

I just think it's sad that women spit on nurturing (cooking, cleaning, mothering) and see it as some form of enslavement through "marriage"

and on and on, bunch of indefensible positions that no one is actually taking but sure make for convenient windmills to swing at. Not my personal brand of musing, but there you go. Edited May 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
redacted response to deleted post ~6

[Revolver]

If sex feels like a chore, you probably shouldn't be married to that person