Any words of wisdom

[Trisb4u]

My ex girlfriend "caught" me texting another woman. I met this woman once and didn't tell her.

[LoveRefreshed]

My ex girlfriend "caught" me texting another woman. I met this woman once and didn't tell her.

 

What was the content of the conversations you have with her?

What's the nature of your relationship wit this other woman?

What was the intent behind meeting this other woman?

 

Maybe your gf is justified? Maybe she's jealous.

 

Lamenting about it here without any information leaves us wondering what exactly you're looking for.

[Trisb4u]

My ex hacked my iPhone and found a conversation I had with a female friend I work with. My ex dumped me weeks ago and the day after I seen this female friend in work and she invited me out with her and her male friend. I met up with her in our cars (we are both into cars). Had a few hours convo with her and her friend then that was it. Me and the girlfriend ended up getting back together and a week later she was busy so I text this female friend to see if she was free. We never met up a second time but I didn't tell me ex. My ex has freaked out about pretty much every female that has been in my life. All the texts she seen we not flirty in any way shape or form. Not even xx's on the end. Because I lied she can never trust me. I am a liar and deceitful just like her ex that cheated on her 30+ times.

[Trisb4u]

This female friend smokes weed like myself. We met up for a joint (judge me for being a druggy) but that's the truth. Don't like admitting I smoke weed to people.

[smackie9]

Planning to hang out one on one with a female coworker isn't really an appropriate thing to be doing...and not saying anything about it? well I can see her point, you made yourself look shady. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you like it if she was meeting up with a male coworker to blow a rocket without mentioning it to you.....Plus if your ex already had trust issues from past experiences, you should be moving on anyways.

 

Maybe things with this coworker might work out for you....seems you have stuff in common.

[Trisb4u]

You are right I know but it wasn't one on one it was with her male friend and I did get dumped the day before for like the fifth time. What do you mean should be moving on anyway? I know it looks suspicious but I can't change how it looks.

 

On another note what's is your opinion with this?

 

My ex has lots of males friends which she has spoken about but I have never met. There is a group of her guy friends she goes out drinking with. I asked if I could come once but she says she doesn't want me meeting these friends as I won't like them and won't like how she acts with them.

 

We also had a mutual male friend that introduced us to each other. He told my ex he didn't like us cuddling in front of him so we had to stop. He then fell out with me so I am no longer allowed to her house when he is going round. He then says to her he doesn't like us texting when he is round so she doesn't bother with me.

[mikeylo]

When trust issues arise, you need to understand the reason. The reason is usually a third person. Cut that person out and make your relationship strong.Thats the only way around. Then start over making mutual friends.

[Satu]

Apart from anything else, it doesn't look like your preferences re socialising are a good match.

[Trisb4u]

She really doesn't want to see me at all. I can't express how serious she is about never wanting to see me. I am now the lowest of the low even worse than her ex that cheated on her lots. I hate that I have hurt her but also know why I choose not to tell her, which she will never believe. Things have been so rocky for a long time I didn't want to throw another spanner in the works. I don't want to be a bad person or shady

[Trisb4u]

What do you mean Satu?

[Zahara]

My ex hacked my iPhone and found a conversation I had with a female friend I work with. My ex dumped me weeks ago and the day after I seen this female friend in work and she invited me out with her and her male friend.

 

So, did you meet/chat with this woman after your ex broke up with you?

 

Maybe I am reading this wrong.

[Space Ritual]

She really doesn't want to see me at all. I can't express how serious she is about never wanting to see me. I am now the lowest of the low even worse than her ex that cheated on her lots. I hate that I have hurt her but also know why I choose not to tell her, which she will never believe. Things have been so rocky for a long time I didn't want to throw another spanner in the works. I don't want to be a bad person or shady

 

Yeah when you start making decisions for other people regarding what you are going to inform them of, you run this risk.

 

 

Are you sure you were not just too lazy and cocksure about your phone and it's contents to not delete your messages or did your now ex use a Dr, Phone on you? In any case you really have no one to blame but yourself. You seem to have a lot of excuses without understanding your own culpability. That will come when you actually grow up.

[Satu]

What do you mean Satu?

It doesn't seem like you have a common pool of friends that you both like to associate with.

 

That's all I meant.

[Trisb4u]

I occasionally had a cigarette with this female friend. She doesn't actually work for my company she has one of the units over the way. My ex had previously dumped me yes and the following day I was having a cig and me and this friend got talking. She asked what I was up to that night and honestly nothing I have no girlfriend. I went home after work not planning on meeting her but my friends and mum and dad could see I was sad so suggested I go. The friend text me and I met up with her with one of her friends. We went for a drive and a spliff on a country lane but happens to be a bloody dogging spot of all places which I didn't know at the time. Me and the ex got back together and weren't right I got pissed off being honest with her because of lots of other things. She was busy one night so I messaged this female friend again to see if she fancied a joint and a drive again. Weeks go by with no contact from this friend apart from the odd cig because me and the girlfriend were OK then we split up again for other reasons and she ended up using iTunes to get everything off my phone, text, Facebook etc etc. She then seen this text messages.

[Trisb4u]

Space ritual. Brutal reply but appreciate your honesty.

[Trisb4u]

Has anyone else ever had a really insecure jealous girlfriend and it make you feel you couldn't talk to them for fear of making them angry?

[d0nnivain]

No but I had a BF like that. His behavior destroyed the relationship because after a few months I couldn't deal with his nonsense anymore. It wasn't worth it. I did nothing wrong but he'd constantly accuse me of cheating if I so much as talked to another guy. Meanwhile I had to talk to other guys because . . . duh I worked with them & needed things from them to do my job. Still, the BF over reacted & finally I had enough.

[Trisb4u]

Mine and my ex relationship went horribly wrong so early on.

Before we got together I spent 2 years on my own feeling really low and depressed from a previous breakup. I finally got some confidence because a girl starting showing me some attention. I slept with this girl but knew it wasn’t right or the right thing to do so I ended things with her. Fast forward 3/4 weeks and I met my ex girlfriend someone I wanted to make a future with. We spoke a couple of times over text and met once or twice. In the mean time the girl I slept with was pregnant. I didn’t tell the girl I wanted to be with. Myself and the girl I slept with both decided a termination was the best thing to do. The termination occurred and things moved forward with the girl I wanted to be with. I still never told her what was going on. Well weeks go by and one of my best friends decided to tell me girlfriend about my past and from that point on she couldn’t trust me.

[Trisb4u]

Truthfully I don’t actually believe she was pregnant and she was a bunny boiler because I ended things with her week before she dropped that bomb shell on me. I offered to go with her to the scan, appointments etc etc but she always had a excuse why I shouldn’t. She even messed the day up telling me it was one day but it actually was the day before. I hadn’t slept with the new girlfriend until I knew everything was final. If the decision was made to keep the baby I would of told you girlfriend but I already new it wasn’t the case and didn’t even believe it fully myself.

[Space Ritual]

I don't enjoy being like that but in many instances I feel it is the only way to make a point. Too often on forums like this people dance around with semantics and not being responsible for their own actions.

 

I take it by your reply to Satu yesterday that you really felt you and your GF were over with at the point where you were meeting up with this other girl for a spliff?

 

There si no harm in that of course, but perhaps where you went wrong was to not tell your GF when you got back with her that you had met up with this other girl. Of course it may have yielded the same result but at least you could have been upfront with her and been able to say that nothing came of it instead of not thinking it was a big thing worth mentioning. And because of that you were left trying to explain something away that on the surface was probably innocent and turned into a huge issue.

 

Again, it sounds like it was really not something you even thought would come back to bite you. I understand we have all had that happen to us in one form or another. I just hope you realize in the future it would be best to make sure you don't put yourself into such situations that have you struggling to explain yourself to people who care about you.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Yeah when you start making decisions for other people regarding what you are going to inform them of, you run this risk.

 

 

Are you sure you were not just too lazy and cocksure about your phone and it's contents to not delete your messages or did your now ex use a Dr, Phone on you? In any case you really have no one to blame but yourself. You seem to have a lot of excuses without understanding your own culpability. That will come when you actually grow up.

 

I second this.

 

You messed up and now you're paying the price. Doesn't matter how small or insignificant or innocent you think it is, in HER eyes you lied and jeopardized the trust in your relationship which evidently is a big issue with her based on her past.

 

Best advice would be to just learn from your mistake and never repeat it again.

[Trisb4u]

No your right it what I needed. We argue so much over females I have been honest about. It feel like I have to tell her every contact with any other female if I don't say I text "insert female name" she finds out and accused me of cheating. Actually I don't even text these friends half the time they message me. I should of told her I know it but pathetic as this may sound I was scared to as we had argue soooo much recently about somethings she is insecure about

[66Charger]

 

On another note what's is your opinion with this?

 

My ex has lots of males friends which she has spoken about but I have never met. There is a group of her guy friends she goes out drinking with. I asked if I could come once but she says she doesn't want me meeting these friends as I won't like them and won't like how she acts with them.

 

We also had a mutual male friend that introduced us to each other. He told my ex he didn't like us cuddling in front of him so we had to stop. He then fell out with me so I am no longer allowed to her house when he is going round. He then says to her he doesn't like us texting when he is round so she doesn't bother with me.

 

WTF?

 

This appears to me the biggest blameshift in the history of LS. So that I might understand, let me break this down.

 

She has male freinds she drinks with, but you are not allowed to participate.

 

You wont like how she is around them.

 

Another guy tells her not to text you when he is around. And she doesnt.

 

When he is at her house, you cant come over. Really? Hell no bro, whats up with that.

 

When you are around this guy, she is not permitted to "cuddle" you. Wow!

 

Are you the boyfreind or is he?

 

I am truly amazed at the hammerring you are getting here. Does anyone really believe SHE isnt lying?

 

Your X has shown you truly bad behaviour andfif anyone is cheating its her.

 

Doormat, plan b, sucker, etc. All this is written in your mirror.

 

Think about all that bro

 

WHATS REALLY GOING ON?

 

Wake the f up, today. If you werent so buzy smoking dope, you would have left her long ago.

Edited April 30, 2016 by 66Charger

[Trisb4u]

What do you mean blame shift? I am still in the wrong I should of told her I met my female friend because it was innocent.

 

She says I would be out of place with her friends and wouldn't enjoy the night so she took the decision out of my hands and tell me she doesn't want me meeting them. She justified now because "she stopped seeing them" which makes me wonder why? What's she hiding. I think she doesn't want me to meet them because her secrets will then come out. (Not necessarily cheating) but stuff she doesn't want to talk about her past.

 

Her male friend that used to be mine has known her a long time so of course he is priority over me in her eyes. Because she tells me when he is coming round she feels she is being honest and I just have to accept it.

 

I do feel I have rebelled against her as she pushes me so hard with constant accusations of me cheating. She has her friends that are "secretive-ish" so I want mine. Childish I know.

[Trisb4u]

Her male friend showed me pictures of her half naked in a bikini he had hidden in his photos on his phone before we got together. My ex openly knows he is besotted with her. I also think he has done some **** stirring between us in the past.