ExpatInItaly Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 OP, nowhere did I say you 100% didn't have another chance. What I was trying to convey is that doing this isn't a good idea. And I stand by that. Why? Because for a second chance to succeed, she'll need to know that you have grown up, done some deep soul-searching and really understood the reasons why you avoid commitment and taken measurable steps to prevent it from happening again. I wish you luck but I fail to see how all of that could have happened in the short time you've been apart. Thus, I predict that this cycle will repeat itself. There is a lot of work to be done and, with due respect, I don't think you fully understand that. What you've got here is the only the tip of an iceberg, so to speak. Don't worry about proving me wrong. Frankly, it doesn't make any difference to me at all whether or not she agreed to speak to you. You need to worry more about how you're going to keep your end of the bargain and not break her heart again, should she decide it's work the risk. How are you going to ensure that? This is a question you don't need to answer, at least not to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dell Monitor Posted May 6, 2016 Author Share Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) OP, nowhere did I say you 100% didn't have another chance. What I was trying to convey is that doing this isn't a good idea. And I stand by that. Why? Because for a second chance to succeed, she'll need to know that you have grown up, done some deep soul-searching and really understood the reasons why you avoid commitment and taken measurable steps to prevent it from happening again. I wish you luck but I fail to see how all of that could have happened in the short time you've been apart. Thus, I predict that this cycle will repeat itself. There is a lot of work to be done and, with due respect, I don't think you fully understand that. What you've got here is the only the tip of an iceberg, so to speak. Don't worry about proving me wrong. Frankly, it doesn't make any difference to me at all whether or not she agreed to speak to you. You need to worry more about how you're going to keep your end of the bargain and not break her heart again, should she decide it's work the risk. How are you going to ensure that? This is a question you don't need to answer, at least not to me. Hey again. Aight, I can see, you didnt actually say that. My bad. I can definately see your points and Im 100% sure, that Im not "fixed" yet. But the difference is now, that I want to work with it. I did tell her about the shrink and that Ive been there, that I know, I still got a lot of work to do, but I will do it. And I think its somewhat easier, when she is so lovely. I can not ensure that, Im not going to break her heart again. Unfortunately. But I can tell her, how I feel and what I will do different. I know this cycle wont repeat. If we are getting back together, I will commit and tell eveyone about it again. And will never be in these "limbo"-situations again. Thats not fair. Edited May 6, 2016 by Dell Monitor Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 I can not ensure that, Im not going to break her heart again. Unfortunately. Why cant you ensure that ? If and when you relapse about commitment , you can confide in her that its your demons and it has nothing to do with her so that she doesnt take it personally. Anyway, you wanted 2 weeks,but you went ahead in 2 days She must love you enough to give another chance after what you have put her through! I've always believed that it takes one particular girl to change a guy for good. If inspiration is gone, the motivation goes away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dell Monitor Posted May 6, 2016 Author Share Posted May 6, 2016 Why cant you ensure that ? If and when you relapse about commitment , you can confide in her that its your demons and it has nothing to do with her so that she doesnt take it personally. Anyway, you wanted 2 weeks,but you went ahead in 2 days She must love you enough to give another chance after what you have put her through! I've always believed that it takes one particular girl to change a guy for good. If inspiration is gone, the motivation goes away. I can ensure her that, but I cant gurantee anything (like one in this thread said, I cant make it legal binding). Of course I will go in it 100% and Im 100% sure it will work, if I keep working with it. Ahh, acutally its not 2 days, but 1.5 week, but one of your last comments pushed me forward. I mean, "one life, you gotta do, what you should" instead of sitting home and regretting anything. Im still not sure, she will go with me, but the chance got a lot bigger now, that we are going to finally meet (its been 1 month since or so). What to you mean by "if inspiration is gone, the motivation goes away" (maybe its my English)? PS. 32 min to the date. Im sitting at the office and shaking like it was my first date ever. Looking forward to see her Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 I mean that this girl is your inspiration to become a better man and in a way is helping you fight your demons from past , which is important to live a complete life. And thats how she becomes a motivation as well , for you to change Keep her dude ! I'm telling you.Take my word for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dell Monitor Posted May 6, 2016 Author Share Posted May 6, 2016 I mean that this girl is your inspiration to become a better man and in a way is helping you fight your demons from past , which is important to live a complete life. And thats how she becomes a motivation as well , for you to change Keep her dude ! I'm telling you.Take my word for it. I will definately! If I manage to be with her again, still unsure (feeling like a teenager lol). Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 OP, I didn't see in the thread and I may have missed it, but can I ask how old the both of you are? I feel this is a relevant factor moving forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dell Monitor Posted May 6, 2016 Author Share Posted May 6, 2016 OP, I didn't see in the thread and I may have missed it, but can I ask how old the both of you are? I feel this is a relevant factor moving forward. Shes 32, Im 36 Link to post Share on other sites
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