Girlfriends New Tattoo is A Huge Turn-Off

[EndsExpect]

I will keep this quick. I've been dating this lady for about 6 months. When we started dating she had a small ankle tattoo and one on her lower back. She recently started getting an arm tattoo. It isn't finished, but it is flowers and has all kinds of color in it.

 

I'm not going to mince words here. It's ugly. The thing is hideous to the point where I now find myself not wanting to look at it... ever! I thought I would just get used to it... but it's been 2 weeks and it's not getting better.

 

Honestly, I don't understand why she did it. What the heck am I supposed to say to her? Can I convince her to remove it?

[Larryville]

Not a damn thing you can do. Apparently their must have been a memo circulating encouraging women to engage in this.... especially the breast and neck tats I will never understand this.

I just avoid because if I'm dating someone and let's say I invite them to a formal work function of mine due to where I work and they can't wear a nice formal dress because they have freaking tattoos visible everywhere, it looks jacked up. Dude I get you... yes someone will call me old fashion out of touch or whatever but... No.

 

You have to decide what is more important your peace of mind or her tattoo obsession?

[d0nnivain]

You can't convince her to remove it. She probably thinks its beautiful. It's now part of who she is. You either like all of her -- ugly tattoo included -- or you walk away. My husband has a tattoo I don't care for, but I still love him.

[EndsExpect]

Not a damn thing you can do. Apparently their must have been a memo circulating encouraging women to engage in this.... especially the breast and neck tats I will never understand this.

I just avoid because if I'm dating someone and let's say I invite them to a formal work function of mine due to where I work and they can't wear a nice formal dress because they have freaking tattoos visible everywhere, it looks jacked up. Dude I get you... yes someone will call me old fashion out of touch or whatever but... No.

 

You have to decide what is more important your peace of mind or her tattoo obsession?

 

If it was a boob tattoo I would have ended things already.

 

I saw a study that basically showed tattoos are almost exclusive to trashy women. I don't want to marry a trashy woman!

 

I think more men need to stand up and be adamant about how gross these things look. I think maybe women are doing this to "fit in". I hated the sheep type people in High School... and I have not changed my opinion about people who just follow trends.

 

To the point though... Are you suggesting that I dump her? Can't the damn thing be removed?

[d0nnivain]

Can't the damn thing be removed?

 

 

Tattoos can be removed but it's an expensive painful process. But here's the thing -- SHE likes HER body art. She doesn't want it removed.

[EndsExpect]

You can't convince her to remove it. She probably thinks its beautiful. It's now part of who she is. You either like all of her -- ugly tattoo included -- or you walk away. My husband has a tattoo I don't care for, but I still love him.

 

Well... I think it's ugly. If she wants to move forward with me, then my opinion better matter to her. If not, then she clearly does not care for me much.

 

Tattoos can be removed but it's an expensive painful process. But here's the thing -- SHE likes HER body art. She doesn't want it removed.

 

It isn't art... and I don't want to look at it. What if I just tell her to wear long sleeve shirts whenever we are together? Also... cover it up when we make love.

 

Can you put makeup over it?

[Larryville]

EE she did it while you were dating and obviously did not discuss with you which basically means you don't mean that much to her.

 

On the "trashy women" tats, not necessarily... older, wealthier, successful educated women keep getting them but they usually represent some "life change" or trauma or some symbol of some major change in their life. Irrational to me why I will never understand why a woman would jack up her body in a permanent manner for some "symbolic" reason.

[Beren]

If it was a boob tattoo I would have ended things already.

 

I saw a study that basically showed tattoos are almost exclusive to trashy women. I don't want to marry a trashy woman!

 

I think more men need to stand up and be adamant about how gross these things look. I think maybe women are doing this to "fit in". I hated the sheep type people in High School... and I have not changed my opinion about people who just follow trends.

 

To the point though... Are you suggesting that I dump her? Can't the damn thing be removed?

 

I'm not sure who commissioned or undertook that study. But it is false. I know many women who have tattoos who are not "trashy". Would you really let a stereotype like that influence your view on a girl you seem to like enough to consider marrying?

 

You can not tell her to remove the tattoo. If she got it, she probably loves it. Getting it removed is an expensive and painful process as far as I know.

[EndsExpect]

EE she did it while you were dating and obviously did not discuss with you which basically means you don't mean that much to her.

On the "trashy women" tats, not necessarily... older, wealthier, successful educated women keep getting them but they usually represent some "life change" or trauma or some symbol of some major change in their life. Irrational to me why I will never understand why a woman would jack up her body in a permanent manner for some "symbolic" reason.

 

Look, it's only been 6 months. She talked about it in advance, but I didn't think it was going to be this big or this ugly.

 

The only symbol I see is "I want to live in a trailer park". It's trashy. There is no getting around it. Older, wealthier, educated women who get this are trashy too.

[EndsExpect]

I'm not sure who commissioned or undertook that study. But it is false. I know many women who have tattoos who are not "trashy". Would you really let a stereotype like that influence your view on a girl you seem to like enough to consider marrying?

 

You can not tell her to remove the tattoo. If she got it, she probably loves it. Getting it removed is an expensive and painful process as far as I know.

 

The study fits my experience with reality. It probably fits yours too if you were willing to admit it.

 

Why? Why can't I ask her to remove it? Especially now before it's finished!

[RedPurpleOrange]

It requires a long-term, painful laser treatment to remove.

 

 

I agree, though, I prefer no tats. Boob tats and them big 'wingspan' tats that some ladies have above their bums...hate 'em!

 

 

I don't think it's all about 'trashy girls', though, there is quite a big tattoo subculture now. I always wanted to be a tattoo artist but I have no tats. Go figure. Nothing worse than seeing a poorly-drawn tat ruining someone's body. If I ever have one, I'm drawing it!

[Larryville]

Look, it's only been 6 months. She talked about it in advance,

When we started dating she had a small ankle tattoo and one on her lower back. She recently started getting an arm tattoo.

 

I saw a study that basically showed tattoos are almost exclusive to trashy women. I don't want to marry a trashy woman!

 

So she had one, you obviously have STRONG feelings about tats.... she had the back tat, started the arm tat, you clearly did not have a real conversation about the arm tat, if your opinion meant more would you not have picked it out with her or discussed more in depth?

 

and Marry?

 

But you said...

 

Look, it's only been 6 months.

 

Where did marry come from, doesn't matter now because you now have categorized her as trashy. And please don't post the obligatory "she is an amazing woman... bla bla bla" "the best woman I've ever been with bla bla bla"

 

You put out the label that attitude will never go away and your future behavior will reflect as such.

[elaine567]

Why? Why can't I ask her to remove it? Especially now before it's finished!

 

You can ask, of course you can. Was she aware of your aversion to tattoos before she started this new one?

[Beren]

The study fits my experience with reality. It probably fits yours too if you were willing to admit it.

 

Why? Why can't I ask her to remove it? Especially now before it's finished!

 

How does a study determine if someone is trashy? We'll agree to disagree.

 

Well, if you seemingly think you can, why are you here? Go ahead and ask... see what happens.

[EndsExpect]

So she had one, you obviously have STRONG feelings about tats.... she had the back tat, started the arm tat, you clearly did not have a real conversation about the arm tat, if your opinion meant more would you not have picked it out with her or discussed more in depth?

and Marry?

But you said...

Where did marry come from, doesn't matter now because you now have categorized her as trashy. And please don't post the obligatory "she is an amazing woman... bla bla bla" "the best woman I've ever been with bla bla bla"

You put out the label that attitude will never go away and your future behavior will reflect as such.

 

I really don't mind small out of the way tattoos. I didn't like the tramp stamp, but it wasn't a deal breaker.

 

I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I was under the impression that this was going to be a small thing on her upper arm or shoulder. Clearly I should have had a MUCH more indepth conversation... but now I feel stuck.

 

Larry... I would not date this woman if I did not see her as someone I could marry in the future. If I can't see a future with her... then whats the point? Sure she has loads of good qualities, but I don't think I could live with this.

 

You can ask, of course you can. Was she aware of your aversion to tattoos before she started this new one?

 

Evidently not. Does removing it leave a scar?

[elaine567]

Evidently not. Does removing it leave a scar?

Probably not.

Laser Tattoo Removal Procedure, Benefits, and Risks

[Larryville]

If I can't see a future with her... then whats the point? Sure she has loads of good qualities, but I don't think I could live with this.

 

Then don't, stressing about removal is frankly a waste of time. Stop wasting your time AND her's.

 

Will repeat what is relevant with almost all threads, when someone gets to the point of posing here there is far more going on than what the thread subject is about. I MIGHT be wrong but this is NOT just about a tattoo. But does not matter now anyway.

[Ruby Slippers]

I think you just have to decide whether or not you can accept this, then depending on your answer, stay or go. If you can't accept it fully, it's not going to work, because you picking at her over something that she chose to do would get old real fast. So accept it or not.

 

For the record, I also don't find tattoos attractive. I once dated a guy with a lot of quality ink on his upper arms and shoulders, but that's because we got along well and he had the ink when I met him.

 

I don't think I'd take it very well if the guy I'd been dating for 6 months got a big patch of new ink without discussing it with me at all beforehand. It would tell me he didn't care if it was appealing/attractive to me or not, which is a turnoff.

 

I have no ink - a proud virgin

[smackie9]

Can you convince her to remove it???? Hell no! You are only 6 months in....it would be easier just to remove yourself from the relationship.

 

Tattoos, like getting sleeved, is a lifestyle choice. She's not going to have it removed, she gonna continue getting them. Time to say bubb-bye.

 

Like my BFF says, once you get one, you will want more....it's addicting.

 

I'm the only one out of all my long time GFs that refuses to get tattoos. I'm with Ruby Slippers, I don't find them attractive either....yuck.

[basil67]

I think that if you told her how you really feel, she'd dump you. So, you may as well just end it now.

[FortunateSon]

Dump her, you are never going to feel good/comfortable with it based on what you've said. And for the record, I agree with you...tattoos aren't my thing either.

[Jabron1]

Mate, tattoos can become easily addictive. I'll show you the one I got recently in my avatar.

 

If you are with a woman that is heavily into tattoos, you aren't going to change her.

 

Trust me on that. I went out with a woman like that. She got a 'greenday' tattoo that really pissed me off.

 

Your choice? Like it or lump it.

[Tayla]

Their body, their decision once of age.

A gent I dated got a Prince Albert, pretty sure I wasn't informed ( like I'm his mom and he needs to ask permission, yeah that would have ended real quick!)

 

Op, it's unsightly for you. move along, you'll never make it in the birthing room.

[MissBee]

I will keep this quick. I've been dating this lady for about 6 months. When we started dating she had a small ankle tattoo and one on her lower back. She recently started getting an arm tattoo. It isn't finished, but it is flowers and has all kinds of color in it.

 

I'm not going to mince words here. It's ugly. The thing is hideous to the point where I now find myself not wanting to look at it... ever! I thought I would just get used to it... but it's been 2 weeks and it's not getting better.

 

Honestly, I don't understand why she did it. What the heck am I supposed to say to her? Can I convince her to remove it?

 

Of course you can't convince her to remove it. If she didn't want it she wouldn't have gotten it. You've been around for 6 months and may not be her bf next month, so she shouldn't get rid of it for your sake.

 

If it really bothers you it's probably best to break it off. Although, IMO I can't fathom if you truly like someone them getting a tat being a real reason to dump them... But in this case it may point to a host of other issues and incompatibilities between you two.

[MissBee]

I think you just have to decide whether or not you can accept this, then depending on your answer, stay or go. If you can't accept it fully, it's not going to work, because you picking at her over something that she chose to do would get old real fast. So accept it or not.

 

For the record, I also don't find tattoos attractive. I once dated a guy with a lot of quality ink on his upper arms and shoulders, but that's because we got along well and he had the ink when I met him.

 

I don't think I'd take it very well if the guy I'd been dating for 6 months got a big patch of new ink without discussing it with me at all beforehand. It would tell me he didn't care if it was appealing/attractive to me or not, which is a turnoff.

 

I have no ink - a proud virgin

 

Why would someone need to discuss a decision about their body with you? I mean they can tell you they are going to do it but as adults I don't think we have a right to weigh in on what another adult wants to do to their body. Unless we're married and my husband got a vasectomy without any discussion, sure...because that affects my life in terms of kids, but if he gets a tattoo, regardless of whether or not I like it, he shouldn't need my permission to do it.