Why are people still getting married?

[basil67]

My partner and I agree that we'd marry if we lived in a place where our union wasn't legally recognised.

 

So for me, marriage would be purely for practical reasons.

[xxoo]

Marriage is about status.....family status. We married so that we were legally and socially recognized as family. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[dreamingoftigers]

Marriage is about status.....family status. We married so that we were legally and socially recognized as family. I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

I think it's funny when people say it's "a about assets, status, having it all like school, car, home, MARRIAGE."

 

I married a man who was homeless at the time.

 

I mean, his backpack was nice and all, but it wasn't ALL THAT.

 

In fact, his assets and etc. Meant exactly nothing to me.

 

When I describe being married to my daughter, I describe it as having a "Special Partner."

 

When someone is special to me, that doesn't mean I "trap them" or "try to get their possessions" or "use them to show off to everyone that I got married." I mean, at least half of the population gets married. That's like showing off that you pay taxes LOL.

 

The wedding was a beautiful day, sure. But we planned it and pulled it off in six weeks. I can't imagine if that was the "pinnacle" of it all. It was a beginning.....

 

I married him because in my mind, he was special and we belonged together. We loved each other. We shared values and wanted to share a life together.

 

Boyfriends/girlfriends are people that come and go (usually) but marriage said "we are dedicating our LIVES to this partnership. No matter the unfortunate events that befall us." That a lot more than dating. I know that theoretically you can "say that and have that" with a bf/gf, but frankly......for me it is nowhere near the same.

 

Marriage is more then cohabitation. And it shows respect for your partner. It shows you really want them around. You've staked a lot of the Union.

 

My husband is still my special partner. He isn't boyfriend #356, he is my HUSBAND.

 

And I'm sure a lot of guys will say I pursued getting married etc. I actually didn't. He really did. I was just smart enough to realize he was too great to pass up.

[BettyDraper]

If you read the article carefully, demographers still predict that 80% of Americans will marry in the course of their life. People still want career, marriage, and family, but have changed the order in which they seek to attain each step. Marriage is now the last step for many.

 

College educated women are still putting marriage before having children, and marry with the purpose of raising a family within a long term marriage:

 

This. Eschewing marriage in favor of long term cohabitation is an indicator of lower socioeconomic class and less education.

 

First generation North Americans still have their parents paying for their weddings as well.

[basil67]

I'm having a chuckle at some of the cynical posts on this thread. It seems to me that if one gets married, it's not uncommon for others to think it's about status, sperm-donor, access to wallets, showing off etc. Meanwhile, if one lives defacto, they will be judged as not committed, sinful for having children out of wedlock etc.

 

This thread is a great reminder to not care what others think. Sometimes, whatever you do will bring judgement from others.

[Tayla]

I'm having a chuckle at some of the cynical posts on this thread. It seems to me that if one gets married, it's not uncommon for others to think it's about status, sperm-donor, access to wallets, showing off etc. Meanwhile, if one lives defacto, they will be judged as not committed, sinful for having children out of wedlock etc.

 

This thread is a great reminder to not care what others think. Sometimes, whatever you do will bring judgement from others.

 

And all those statements may well be true.

 

I'm glad people can judge, it sets some positive feedback sometimes. Judging a behavior is a way to know how solid a marriage is....or how happy being single is.

 

I'm currently a fan of respecting marriages

Some folks I think should be court ordered to stay married, cuz Us Single folks don't want that kinda cra2y out on the market

[Rxwoman]

Arieswoman,

don't judge people by their belief system.

 

 

I'm an atheist and a RN working with the substance abuse population.

I have personal and professional experience with folks who have been unfaithful.

It's been my experience that those who place faith in the unseen and unsubstantiated have the greater tendency to what they want ( as opposed to what they KNOW is right) than those who have both feet on the ground ( aka reality).

[SolG]

Seeing that 80% of people marry at some point was impressive, considering that it is no longer an expectation to get married due to pregnancy and childbirth. Wouldn't this mean that marriages today are more meaningful, since more are by choice or are they less meaningful, since people know that divorces are easily attainable?

 

I've posted it before... but I think marriage is just one way to express commitment, not the only way. And I think there is something in what you've said here. Marriage rates have fallen a bit because I think it's now more of a conscious choice as opposed to falling into marriage as the predetermined default outcome for a serious committed R.

 

I think that also plays into the falling divorce rate in recent times; it's now 30 per cent (down from around 50 per cent in the 70s). People are on average marrying deliberately and when more mature. And yes, it is generally marriages amongst the more educated and affluent that are the most stable (less likely to divorce). So there's a confluence of factors that makes one more likely to marry, and also more likely to stick with it.

 

I'm having a chuckle at some of the cynical posts on this thread. It seems to me that if one gets married, it's not uncommon for others to think it's about status, sperm-donor, access to wallets, showing off etc. Meanwhile, if one lives defacto, they will be judged as not committed, sinful for having children out of wedlock etc.

 

This thread is a great reminder to not care what others think. Sometimes, whatever you do will bring judgement from others.

 

Basil, I find it difficult sometimes to totally relate to the US outlook on marriage; where it's pretty much the only 'legal' type of union. So vastly different to here where you can mozy on down to BD&Ms and register your R whenever you're ready for legal recognition. Or just wait until the cohabitation time has elapsed and you're legally entwined anyway.

 

But even here in Oz you'll find those views about the legitimacy of marriage. It's just not as ingrained or wide spread.

 

My partner and I agree that we'd marry if we lived in a place where our union wasn't legally recognised.

 

So for me, marriage would be purely for practical reasons.

 

I know of quite a few long-term de facto couples who have gotten officially married to undertake secondments in the US. Because without it the spouse wouldn't be recognised as a spouse :-/ I even know one couple who steadfastly stuck to their principles and went without officially marrying. They ended up marrying in Vegas after the first few pain in the a@# visa renewal trips for the spouse

 

Location makes a big difference to perspective on marriage I think.