Littlematt Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) Hi Me and my partners were together for 8 years. Our relationship was ended on mutual grounds about 2 months ago. We were slowing growing apart. I was happy staying in with our two children who are 1 and 4, she wanted to go out with her friends, staying over night in another town. At the time of the break up we stayed in the house together but in separate rooms for a month until the house was sold. So at the time nothing felt real, it was like nothing had happened. But then the house sold, she moved straight into rented accommodation and I've had to move into my parents house, trying to patiently wait for my new house to be completed. Now that everything has settled down I'm struggling to cope. I had to spend a whole day with her for my son's birthday and do a party at her house. It was hard seeing she had moved on so fast. All her family seemed so happy, like nothing had happened but I was feeling devastated inside, hiding my emotions. Where she had taken a step forward, I have taken a step back. Everywhere I go I'm reminded of her, I can't stop thinking that's she's found someone else. I can't stop thinking what she might be doing. I've deactivated my Facebook and I don't use my phone as much as before. I started at the gym again with help with my depression before, but this time and don't feel any release. I've tried new things but my mind won't stop wondering. I'm not sure what step to take next.I'm not sure how to do the none contact when I have two children. You'll help would be appreciated Thanks Matt Edited May 2, 2016 by Littlematt Added a bit more Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I am so sorry to hear what has happened. It is not surprising that you are struggling, it does take time to recover from something that has been so important to you. It must be extra difficult when you have to meet up because of the children. When you do start to feel better - and you will even though it might not seem like it now - you have a chance to meet someone new who will be there for you. Separating really is like untangling a lot of threads that bind two people together. It is painful and confusing. I suggest you avoid spending time with her whenever possible and that you allow yourself to go through this stage without feeling as if you 'should' be better by now. Having said that, look for the tiny positives, that you see your children, that you have space now for something better to come into your life, that you can be yourself more and not have to compromise with another. By looking at these things, maybe you can slowly edge yourself up to being in a better place. Spending time talking to family and friends is important, possibly counselling if you can afford it. It all helps to come to terms with what is often not understandable. When things don't make sense, the mind works overtime trying to understand. It is exhausting, but eventually it seems to accept that some things don't make sense and there is no point blaming yourself. People become attached and detached all the time. It doesn't make it easy knowing that but logic says they can't all be at fault, that there must be natural process going on here. That natural process has hurt you but is also giving you a chance at something better. See if you can look towards what that better future might be. Imagine it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Littlematt Posted May 3, 2016 Author Share Posted May 3, 2016 Thanks for the reply spiderowl. I'm not sure of I miss her or just lonely? It amazing how much free time I now have Link to post Share on other sites
BelleSkye Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) Are you still emotionally attached to her? Do you think you can start dating now that you have some time on your hands? How about a DIY project to keep you busy if you are not ready to start dating again? Or taking a class in something....Book-keeping, toast-masters, new language, cooking etc....just some ideas. Edited May 9, 2016 by BelleSkye spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Author Littlematt Posted May 13, 2016 Author Share Posted May 13, 2016 Are you still emotionally attached to her? Do you think you can start dating now that you have some time on your hands? How about a DIY project to keep you busy if you are not ready to start dating again? Or taking a class in something....Book-keeping, toast-masters, new language, cooking etc....just some ideas. I'm not sure if I'm still emotionally attached or just abit lonely. I'm sure if I'm ready for dating yet. It all depends who I meet. I found that I was starting to get over her but I had it confirmed that she has a new partner. So I feel I've gone back a month. Sticking to eat, abit more crying but deep down I know that in a months time I will be Alot better. But I've made some contact with a few friends from years ok who have agreed to meet up. So that will help with recovery Link to post Share on other sites
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