Gloria25 Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 But she's fine with the way it is. She's probably not feeling a burning need for sex, thus the sex they have is satisfying for her. It's unsatisfying when you feel a burning need for sex but the sex you have is boring. So the only solution I see is to arouse her to the point that she has a burning need for hot monkey love Yes, it's all his fault. There's just something he's doing/not doing right in bed. I'm walking away from this thread Link to post Share on other sites
Author jsmith92 Posted May 27, 2016 Author Share Posted May 27, 2016 I'm afraid that you will have to learn the hard way. There are certain things that you can change about someone, for sure. But something as serious as someone going rapidly up and down in weight is a serious character flaw that you will either have to accept or reject. I've been with my fair share of women and have never dealt with anything as bad as what you have said. Let me tell you now, it's serous stuff. She's just plain given up caring. What was it again? Like 3 stone in just 1 year? That's absolute madness. Like I said, you'll learn the hard way I guess. I just hope for your sake that you don't waste too much time doing it. Not 3 stone no, just over half of that actually, 24 pounds. I would accept maybe 10 pounds increase in weight for the quitting smoking but like i mentioned a few times before she has just got too used to the bad diet lifestyle and too comfortable with being with someone in a serious relationship, she said she wants to lose a stone (14 pounds), that would be great and something she can easily do, its just sticking to a healthier diet in the long run she might struggle with. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 You can tell them what you need and you can fix things. I have only just brought it up today how fed up i am of being the only one trying, lets just see how she does with putting her words into action. I hope to GOD you didn't use those exact words when you told her....... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jsmith92 Posted May 27, 2016 Author Share Posted May 27, 2016 Not them exact words no. I mentioned i was feeling she wasnt making the effort she once was and she put it all down to having no confidence because of the weight. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 Yes, it's all his fault. There's just something he's doing/not doing right in bed. I'm walking away from this thread We can only advise the OP because he is the only one here... What good does it do to say, "She should want to have hotter sex with you"? She should? Why? Maybe the OP can inspire her to want hotter sex with him, but I guarantee he can't convince her to have hotter sex through guilt and demands. Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 We can only advise the OP because he is the only one here... What good does it do to say, "She should want to have hotter sex with you"? She should? Why? Maybe the OP can inspire her to want hotter sex with him, but I guarantee he can't convince her to have hotter sex through guilt and demands. If I wanted to rock the boat and open a can of worms, I could argue that competition anxiety would quite 'miraculously' create motivation in her. It's probably part of why he got great sex in the beginning. Fact is that she is comfortable, and knows he isn't going anywhere anytime soon. She's complacent and selfish. (Don't get me wrong. I agree that inspiration is part of it too. But, it's just one factor of many.) Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 If I wanted to rock the boat and open a can of worms, I could argue that competition anxiety would quite 'miraculously' create motivation in her. It's probably part of why he got great sex in the beginning. Fact is that she is comfortable, and knows he isn't going anywhere anytime soon. She's complacent and selfish. (Don't get me wrong. I agree that inspiration is part of it too. But, it's just one factor of many.) Well sure, get hot, dress sharp, and she'll probably feel some renewed interest when other women start taking notice. I sure do! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 This girl has confidence issues which appear to be multiplying with each post; she has issues with oral as you seem to have difficulty getting off on oral so she sees little point in trying, but she was never too keen on it anyway, so I guess she really doesn't want to do it, its now been 2 months since the last time; she has issues with "rough sex" which is something you seem to want and she is not really into it, so again she doesn't want to do it; she has issues with her weight gain. You say you are not attracted to her any longer as she is too heavy now, and I am sure she is well aware of that fact so that will no doubt have put a damper on sex with you; she now has to contend with the complaint that she is just not trying hard enough and that you are the only one trying. I do not think many would take kindly to the suggestion that they need to try harder sexually, but we will see what transpires... Seems to me she is a square peg in a round hole here. YOU may be able to gee her up temporarily, but we all know she is going to slip back into her comfort zone and that it will not be a long term solution. I appreciate you trying to make this work, but it seems a bit like flogging a dead horse to me - sorry! This has been said so many times on this board, but you cannot force someone, whether a man or woman, to give more than they are willing and desirous of giving, or to put forth more effort than they are willing and desirous of putting forth - Katiegirl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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