A bolt out of the blue

[Miss Mojo]

hey everyone,

 

i have a little issue that i need a little advice on here.

 

when i got home this afternoon, there was a card in the mail for me. my first instincts told me who it was from. now, this guy, i had a bit of a falling out with and i haven't heard from him since octoberish (got no idea of dates).

 

he (we were really close and really good friends), wrote inside the card, "####, Have a happy easter. I hope you are truly happy, regards".

 

he did not sign his name, but there's only one person it could be from who a) knows my full name b)always gets the postcode wrong c) i had a falling out with d) was always thoughtful and sent me things like that e) would try to disguise their writing.

 

question: what do i do???? what would YOU do??? i mean, if i were to contact this guy with a message like: "was the card from you?", i would feel like a total twat if it wasn't...but there's no-one else who it could be from.

 

i didn't even contact him at christmas, even though i really wanted to. we were both pretty upset when we had our falling out, because we were so close and well...it basically sucked. he hasn't heard a word from me, or me from him until now.

 

i have really missed him but i'm nervous about contacting him, even though i want to. dammit!! what do i do??? i've never been in a situation like this before!

[Tony T]

I have been in those kinds of situations. Whoever sent you the card is immaterial. If they can't sign the card, they don't deserve a reply. Trash it and forget it.

 

But your feelings for your old friend must be addressed. If you know how to reach him, send him a note telling of your regret for the falling out and that you still think of him and wish him well. Put your name and return address on it. Then forget it.

 

If he replies and signs something, then you have begun a dialog. Or if you want to be more certain of a response, give him a call.

 

The same thing happened with me, although as much as I would like to write her and patch things up, she is now married and the circumstances of our parting were different. We were extremely close friends but once she found this boyfriend who she would ultimately marry, I became persona non grata overnight. She also started being rude to me.

 

As much as I would like her friendship again, the way it was in its original form, I have had to realize that will never be again. It is not practical for me to contact her, not only because she is married, but because of the way she rapidly turned from being a great friend to treating me as if I were an annoyance, nuisance, irritation, etc.

 

So in deciding whether or not to write this guy, you have to take into consideration exactly what caused the parting. If it was something that can be patched up, by all means write him...or even call him. If he is not receptive, then you can wash your mind of the entire matter. If he is, don't expect things to be exactly the same as before...but at least a reunion or sorts could be healing. And perhaps some kind of friendship can be restored.

 

The odds of that happening are pretty good if he is actually the one who sent the card...which seems likely. But don't mention the card. Unsigned letters, cards, packages, flowers, etc. just don't count.

[ashesmum]

Maybe he's over it. He just made the first that's all. Send him a card back just like he did. Then see if he gets ahold of you. Good luck.

hey everyone, i have a little issue that i need a little advice on here. when i got home this afternoon, there was a card in the mail for me. my first instincts told me who it was from. now, this guy, i had a bit of a falling out with and i haven't heard from him since octoberish (got no idea of dates).

 

he (we were really close and really good friends), wrote inside the card, "####, Have a happy easter. I hope you are truly happy, regards".

 

he did not sign his name, but there's only one person it could be from who a) knows my full name b)always gets the postcode wrong c) i had a falling out with d) was always thoughtful and sent me things like that e) would try to disguise their writing. question: what do i do???? what would YOU do??? i mean, if i were to contact this guy with a message like: "was the card from you?", i would feel like a total twat if it wasn't...but there's no-one else who it could be from. i didn't even contact him at christmas, even though i really wanted to. we were both pretty upset when we had our falling out, because we were so close and well...it basically sucked. he hasn't heard a word from me, or me from him until now. i have really missed him but i'm nervous about contacting him, even though i want to. dammit!! what do i do??? i've never been in a situation like this before!