DavidMA Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 (edited) I'm new to the Forum and I'm fairly new to relationships as well. I've only had 2 girlfriends and I'm 29 years old. I say this because, this is my reason for seeking some advice. I'm in a relationship right now and my girlfriend has tendencies to be very negative and disrespectful most of the time and it's killing me. I try to do and say something nice and she shuts me down right away. I call her beautiful, Love Dove, Bubzy, and many others and she gets an attitude as if I called her a b****. This has been going on for a good while now and this time it got me mad. I messaged her to wish her a good night's rest and I said 'Love you SLEEPING BEAUTY rest well you're my little Magical Unicorn, God Bless you' All used to wish her lovely night. I got a text from her this morning now saying and I quote, 'Good Morning Hun' Just a quick reminder...I'm not 12 years old - "sleeping beauty", "magical" and "Unicorn" smh 'Nice attempt though' I just don't understand why she has to be so mean, it was not meant to negative or harsh in anyway. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong and it's really confusing me as to why she has to be so negative all the time. Can someone explain to me if I did something wrong. All I did was wish her a happy night's rest. Edited May 3, 2016 by DavidMA Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Nice things are only "nice" if the person you do them for thinks they are "nice", otherwise it is not being "nice". She obviously hates all that "nonsense" stuff and cutesy names, so why do you keep doing it? "I made you a lovely fish pie" "I hate fish", "But I was only being nice to you, It is being mean to me to say you don't like fish" "I say it again, I hate fish do not make make any more fish pies" "What about fish cakes I can make you fish cakes..." 14 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 snip 'Love you SLEEPING BEAUTY rest well you're my little Magical Unicorn, God Bless you' All used to wish her lovely night. I got a text from her this morning now saying and I quote, 'Good Morning Hun' Just a quick reminder...I'm not 12 years old - "sleeping beauty", If someone talked to me like that, they'd probably get the same response. Stop infantilizing her. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Fruitee Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Little magical unicorn? You are joking right. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 how would you feel say if she sent you a message that said what you wrote her..... personally ..i have never heard of any woman being called a unicorn.....so you get points for individuality... she tried to soften the blow by saying nice try though......even when she didnt like it.....i guess you should really respect that and nto think she is mean ....she is being honest and thats a good thing..... if you care about her ...she is after all your magical horned unicorn keep the pet names out of texts is a suggestion...or you will p...iss the unicorn off and those horns ....yep sharp......best wishes.....deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 That kind of kiddie talk would grate on me. I'd be shutting that down really quick. Echoing Elaine and still laughing -- if she doesn't like it and you're not getting a good reaction, stop doing it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Haha dude, pet names are one thing but that is a bit over the top. But I dated a woman (briefly) who was used to guys mistreating her. I'm a good guy and wouldn't do anything to someone I wouldn't appreciate myself. With that said, I would hold open doors, help her in the kitchen, fill her gas tank etc. and guess what?? She would become irate. I always kept my composure and I guess she didn't like that and ended things (gut and some other things say she was cheating). Now, if you cut the sesame street talk and she is still disrespectful...cut her loose. Don't ever sacrifice your integrity and self respect for someone who doesn't appreciate you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I couldn't cope with being called those kind of names, they are way over the top. Sounds to me like she is a grown adult woman who wants to be treated as such. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Don't misunderstand. Women do like to hear romantic loving words but they also like to be treated like intelligent adults. Had you said something like "sleep well my love" she probably would have liked it, but magical little unicorn and sleeping beauty? What is she? 4yrs old? That is way too childish and it also sounds so fake and contrived. I mean do you really think she is a magical little unicorn? Women like to hear loving words if the words sound honest and from the heart. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Next time call her a special little snowflake for not liking unicorns and princesses. Link to post Share on other sites
mamabear32018 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Could you speak with her face to face about it? You could let her know you only have good intentions when you write or talk that way. Maybe ask her how she feels about it? Some women may like being spoken to that way, others may just be annoyed by it. It can be difficult to communicate effectively through messages and texting, so while she may be coming across as mean, she's may be trying to communicate that she doesn't like it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Lol, no, your girlfriend telling you not to call her those way over the top nicknames is not abuse. In fact, I think the nauseatingly cutesy names you're calling her are closer to abuse than her telling you to knock it off. Relax. And maybe try to find nicknames that don't make your gf want to hurl. Also you need to thicken that skin. What are you going to do when you have your first fight?? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Lol, no, your girlfriend telling you not to call her those way over the top nicknames is not abuse. In fact, I think the nauseatingly cutesy names you're calling her are closer to abuse than her telling you to knock it off. I was about to post that. I she h asked him not to do this (sounds like she has in the past) then he is disrespecting her. Very slight abuse albeit but slight abuse generally grows... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfromcali Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Agreed. You calling her those names is the abuse. Don't ever do it with any girl...ever. She was actually being pretty nice about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I'm new to the Forum and I'm fairly new to relationships as well. I've only had 2 girlfriends and I'm 29 years old. I say this because, this is my reason for seeking some advice. I'm in a relationship right now and my girlfriend has tendencies to be very negative and disrespectful most of the time and it's killing me. I try to do and say something nice and she shuts me down right away. I call her beautiful, Love Dove, Bubzy, and many others and she gets an attitude as if I called her a b****. This has been going on for a good while now and this time it got me mad. I messaged her to wish her a good night's rest and I said 'Love you SLEEPING BEAUTY rest well you're my little Magical Unicorn, God Bless you' All used to wish her lovely night. I got a text from her this morning now saying and I quote, 'Good Morning Hun' Just a quick reminder...I'm not 12 years old - "sleeping beauty", "magical" and "Unicorn" smh 'Nice attempt though' I just don't understand why she has to be so mean, it was not meant to negative or harsh in anyway. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong and it's really confusing me as to why she has to be so negative all the time. Can someone explain to me if I did something wrong. All I did was wish her a happy night's rest. you wished someone a happy night's rest, but it wasn't your girlfriend. leave off the nicknames and use her real name. p.s. next time you go to bed with her, pull her hair. gently. Link to post Share on other sites
seamos Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 Well, DavidMA, I tried to come at this w/ a little different point of view but I just can't. I have to agree w/ the others. Yes, it's a little over the top. I have a tendency to use the words "Baby" and "Hon" without thinking when I talk to my wife. Not long ago I accidently blurted out "Baby" as I was talking to my adult stepdaughter! I think she hardly noticed but it made me feel horrified, almost like I had accidently grabbed her ass! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
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