Author Searchin81 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 He made me feel like he always wanted to be in my life, even if just as friends. So even if he wanted me as a friend why would he just ignore me like that? This went from 2 weeks ago him telling me he loved me and wanting me to text him when i got home, to completely ignoring me and pretending i wasn't there. How did that happen? I literately feel sick, weak and everything, my legs turned to jello thats how much ive been feeling it. I dont even want to eat or drink anything. Like he made me feel valued text me almost everyday almost and bang within two weeks.. this!? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Never mind HIS game - what the heck do you think YOU are doing?? Please stop hanging on by your fingernail tips for any semblance of breadcrumbs!! you should be completely done with this, and you should have totally blocked him right across the board! Why the heck won't you listen to advice and do what you know is right, and what you know, works?? You need to stop asking questions which have no satisfactory answers. All you're doing, by asking, is clinging on. In fact, d'you know what? I think that you don't really care what the answers are. It's just that by perpetuating a discussion about him - you remain connected to him. Please - just stop....! JUST - STOP!! This is insane.... Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 He made me feel like he always wanted to be in my life, even if just as friends. So even if he wanted me as a friend why would he just ignore me like that? This went from 2 weeks ago him telling me he loved me and wanting me to text him when i got home, to completely ignoring me and pretending i wasn't there. How did that happen? I literately feel sick, weak and everything, my legs turned to jello thats how much ive been feeling it. I dont even want to eat or drink anything. Like he made me feel valued text me almost everyday almost and bang within two weeks.. this!? I think are projecting the way you feel onto him. He said he loved you, but there are no actions to back it up. So I'm wondering what he really means by loving you. You are taking his love to be equal to the love you feel for him. I think he just spews these words out but doesn't mean much by them. He says is wants to keep you in his life as a friend, and you probably take it to mean you have a shot at a relationship one day. It's easy to get carried away when you love someone. You take every little thing they say as a sign of something that it may not be. Look, I get it because I did the same thing, so I understand how it happens. I don't think you need to try to get into his head and understand his motives. That is an exercise in futility with any person. You will never know. He certainly won't give you any answers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 (edited) i cant believe how much this is affecting me, seeing pics on facebook. We have so many mutual friends and i am bound to run into him again. I feel so odd. How should i act? I was even going though old text here are some things he said "You never give me the time of day anymore, you dont ever see me in person, you hate me" "Id give my life for you, your worth it, Do You Hate me" I still want you, wish you could be mine" followed by "ingore what i said", followed by miss you and that i"m drunk but i miss everything about you Why i let you go ill never understand Dont ask why just know youll always be with me We are gonna grow old together and be two grumps There are alot more, I feel like texting him and telling him he was a scumbag and that he really hurt me the other night.. Is this a bad idea? Edited May 7, 2016 by Searchin81 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 i cant believe how much this is affecting me, seeing pics on facebook. We have so many mutual friends and i am bound to run into him again. I feel so odd. How should i act? I was even going though old text here are some things he said "You never give me the time of day anymore, you dont ever see me in person, you hate me" "Id give my life for you, your worth it, Do You Hate me" I still want you, wish you could be mine" followed by "ingore what i said", followed by miss you and that i"m drunk but i miss everything about you Why i let you go ill never understand Dont ask why just know youll always be with me We are gonna grow old together and be two grumps There are alot more, I feel like texting him and telling him he was a scumbag and that he really hurt me the other night.. Is this a bad idea? Don't text him anything else. You will just dig yourself into a deeper pile of hurt. He seems all over the place and emotionally unstable with his texting. It's best to let those people be and don't deal with them. They drag you into their instability. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 You will keep loving him so long you still talk or see each other.. Delete him from Facebook, block him and everyone he knows. Start a new facebook where you delete him there.. Start fresh.. Just move on for good. It's better for you. He does drugs, this means there is a road of pain and struggle by staying with him as he might never quit his addiction. Leave this swirl of uncertainity, it's never gonna work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) OK so you're not gonna believe this , so I'm out and ran into him again! This time he stops says hi and surprised to see me, I didn't see the person he was seeing around. I then left. Ughhh what to do! Oh and I was with the guy I'm kinda seeing he said nothing to him Edited May 8, 2016 by Searchin81 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 You will keep loving him so long you still talk or see each other.. Delete him from Facebook, block him and everyone he knows. Start a new facebook where you delete him there.. Start fresh.. Just move on for good. It's better for you. He does drugs, this means there is a road of pain and struggle by staying with him as he might never quit his addiction. Leave this swirl of uncertainity, it's never gonna work. OK so you're not gonna believe this , so I'm out and ran into him again! This time he stops says hi and surprised to see me, I didn't see the person he was seeing around. I then left. Ughhh what to do! Oh and I was with the guy I'm kinda seeing he said nothing to him Who cares? I don't, and you should be working towards that too. It's clear you are utterly obsessed with why and how, so I'm kinda pulling back from reading your posts, because you're clearly not getting the message, or more precisely, you're ignoring good sense and sound advice.... "Ughhh what to do"....? Jeesh, you need telling, again? Follow the advice above, and while you're at it, delete all those stupid, meaningless, empty text messages too. Words mean nothing. They're cheap as air. Cheaper, in fact. We've said it countless times - Actions speak louder than words. You're just nailing your foot to the floor and hobbling around in a circle of pointlessness. Move on. 'Nuff said. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beyond Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Searchin, you first posted about this man in 2010 saying that you had broken up 3 years previously in 2007 and he had got married soon afterwards. That's 9 years of you waiting and hoping that he will 'choose you'. He is not going to, he is not that interested. Interested enough to keep you dangling on a string for a bit of fun, but not to take any action to actually BE with you. There is no point repeating the actions vs words argument to you, you plainly are totally ignoring all that. Every single thread about this you have started in the last 6 years is full of people telling you exactly that and it doesn't seem to be getting through. You need more than this forum. You are obsessed and need to seek professional help. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 Beyond it was in 2010 ur dates are off... But obsessed is a little harsh...if he told me to get lost and I was still doin this yes that would be obsessed but that's not what's happening. Even two weeks ago he tells me loves me and ditch guy I'm with. It's not like he tells me to get lost, he keeps giving me hope. I have been fine past few years but now he starting up that he wants me it's always hot and cold. Then if I leave he tells me give him time. So it's not like I'm making this up in my head. But yes I need to get him out my life, just wish he stop givinging me hope. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Beyond it was in 2010 ur dates are off... But obsessed is a little harsh...if he told me to get lost and I was still doin this yes that would be obsessed but that's not what's happening. Even two weeks ago he tells me loves me and ditch guy I'm with. It's not like he tells me to get lost, he keeps giving me hope. I have been fine past few years but now he starting up that he wants me it's always hot and cold. Then if I leave he tells me give him time. So it's not like I'm making this up in my head. But yes I need to get him out my life, just wish he stop givinging me hope. I'm sorry, you're making huge excuses. This has been going on for years, and it's the classic "Lather-rinse-repeat" cycle. He's not giving you hope. His game has been evident for a long time. It is YOU who has held onto hope, but hope is filled with a great big fat Zero. Stop seeking reason behind everything. Stop reading signs into everything he does. It's NEVER - GOING - TO - COME - TO - ANYTHING. The game is clear to him. He can cast a bait, but you keep taking it, hook linbe and sinker, even though it has never ended well for you - and never will. When will you stop taking the bait? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
beyond Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 I realised after I'd posted that I'd read the date wrong - my mistake. In 2012 you wrote you broke up 3 years ago with him. So 'only' 7 years obsessing then! I could have predicted the rest of your reply. Totally focusing on his words and ignoring the fact he has had 7 years to take action to be with you and has done nothing. Obsessed is most definitely not too strong a word. It is what you are ,but of course you can't see it ,which is why I suggest professional help. No point saying anything else or the cycle of "but why would he say this?" Etc continues and you don't get the real help you need to move forward. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Beyond it was in 2010 ur dates are off... But obsessed is a little harsh...if he told me to get lost and I was still doin this yes that would be obsessed but that's not what's happening. Even two weeks ago he tells me loves me and ditch guy I'm with. It's not like he tells me to get lost, he keeps giving me hope. I have been fine past few years but now he starting up that he wants me it's always hot and cold. Then if I leave he tells me give him time. So it's not like I'm making this up in my head. But yes I need to get him out my life, just wish he stop givinging me hope. We believe he is telling you these things. I don't think anyone feels you are making up what he says. We are all saying that you have to take responsibility for yourself. At this point, this is all on you for not walking away and shutting the door. He only comes back because you allow it, and you see what you want to see. Every single person on this thread has come to the same conclusion, so that has to mean something. You come here for objective advice from people who are not in an emotional fog. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 Is it normal to feel hatful towards him sometimes? When i feel this way i think it is me. He is able to stay friends with his ex wife (even though still married), other people he has dated. Why am i not like them, why do i feel resentment toward him and not want to be his friend? Is it me? When i was fb friends with him it was frustrating to see how other people he dated along with being friends with his ex wife, got along with him and that they still hung out. Why am i incapable of doing this? Even his ex wife treated him bad and he is able to forgive them.. Is there something wrong with me that i am resentful that he didnt work things out with me, Then i feel that he must have really loved these people alot more than me, but i doubt he is texting them how much he loves them the most. Why do i harbor so much resentment? Link to post Share on other sites
Kelsy Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 It is normal to feel this negative emotion. Because you have waited all these years for him but he has done nothing to prove his love. Of course it makes you sad. We all think that this real love doesnt exist in him. At least the way you want. You dont know what he says to others. Maybe he could hang out with you if you take drugs, enjoy those parties and agree to have his girl while he is dating others....I dont know....But Iam sure you dont want that....Do you want to feel this negative feeling for rest of your life? We have all gone through this painful journey. All the questions like why our ex left us, why dont they love us anymore like they used to, why they love this other person more? etc.... We might never get those answers....And sometimes if we can get some answers we dont want to believe them etc The hardest part is acceptance....You have to work on youself. Become a better person, have some goals, meet others, distract your mind. Good results give you better mood. You will become a shiny person It may sound wierd but its true. It changes your inner world. Time willl give you all the answers. Just dont stop living your life. Trust in time. We dont know how to help you anymore Link to post Share on other sites
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