ConfusedCloud Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 (edited) He is married and has invited me for a 3some. They got married 1 and a half years ago. I was his last ex. I still have feelings for him. He said they have 3somes a lot with her friends. Is this something I should go through with? I really miss him. I'm hoping if I go through with this then he'll fall in love with me again, because he has told me he misses me too recently. I have no idea why his wife is allowing threesomes. I also feel like I'll probably start crying right when I walk into their new house. But I feel like this might be my last chance at getting him back. He was going to marry me, but I broke up with him and then he married her instead within 3-5 months. Biggest mistake of my life. We even had a fight a few months after we broke up when I found out he was marrying her, he said he's going to take care of her for the rest of her life because he loves her, and that he's glad I broke up with him because she's better in every way - that hurt me so much. What should I do? He's also been texting me casually for some reason every few weeks just to start a conversation, like how are you? I'm so confused and jealous. I should also point out that he was devastated when I broke up with him and he begged for me back for 2 months. Edited May 4, 2016 by ConfusedCloud Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Why cause yourself drama? It's going to hurt. A lot. Why are you in contact with him? What a mess. Don't get anymore tangled than you are. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Cymbeline Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 You surely know when you read your own words that this is can only end in tears? I expect there is a lot of psychological power play going on. If she is his wife and 'better than you in every way'. How are you going to feel when you are having sex with both her and her husband? (And he is hers, not yours. You finished it with him). It isn't him you are going to be having sex with. It is both of them. I think you have left that bit out of your victorious fantasy where he suddenly realises the girl who dumped him is still 'the one' . Or perhaps not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Good grief I am completely horrified that you are even considering the option!! No, no, and then a million times more, absolutely, No. Never. Ever. EVER. No. Just, no. nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. No. Hope that's clear.... Read the NC Guide in my signature. There is no way on this planet, that this guy should even be able to get in touch with you - let alone suggest a 3some!! 12 Link to post Share on other sites
loveisanaction Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 You can never sex a man into loving you. A man will not emotionally bond himself to you because you had sex with him. A man (married or unmarried) can sleep with a girl for years and not fall in love with her. Men do not bond through sex. A Woman on the hand will start to bond with a man should she keep sleeping with him. If you have a threesome with your married man the only thing you will be doing is fulfilling a fantasy for him, it will not make him fall in love with you. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
noelle303 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 You can never sex a man into loving you. A man will not emotionally bond himself to you because you had sex with him. A man (married or unmarried) can sleep with a girl for years and not fall in love with her. Men do not bond through sex. A Woman on the hand will start to bond with a man should she keep sleeping with him. If you have a threesome with your married man the only thing you will be doing is fulfilling a fantasy for him, it will not make him fall in love with you. Exactly. And please don't think that the fact they have threesomes means that their marriage is falling apart or that he is looking to cheat. Many couples have threesomes simply to spice up their sex lives and keep things "fresh" and exciting. He didn't invite you to join them because he misses you or wants you back, he did it purely for the sexual gratification of himself and his wife. You can't participate in this with the intentions that you have. It won't go your way and I'm afraid it's going to emotionally scar you for life. Please end any and all communication with this man, you're clearly not over him and it is making you think and act irrationally. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 If he wants you back he is NOT going to suggest a 3some with his wife, there is something else going on here. YOU broke up with him, for all you know he may still hate you and this 3some is a form of revenge. YOU get to watch him having sex with his wife and then he throws you out. Ultimate humiliation. Don't go there. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I suggest something I have never suggested and never thought I would suggest to anybody. Google "threesome" and find some porn site that provides (ahem) "how to" video sort of like how YouTube provides how to videos for everyday tasks. You should be able to see what a 2 woman 1 man threesome involves so you can see exactly what his expectations are. In short unless you are physically attracted to men and women this isn't going to be your cup of tea. And I seriously doubt that such contact with him will do anything to advance your stated goal of getting back together with him. All you would do is convince him that he is soooo sexy women cannot resist him. Don't go there. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I'm hoping if I go through with this then he'll fall in love with me again, He told you he was happy to be over with you and that his current wife is better than you in every way and you are hoping that he'll fall in love with you by having sex with him and his wife? They have been married for a year and a half and they have threesome a lot with HER friends. And now that he's inviting you to be an EXTRA on his wife's side and you are hoping that he'll fall in love with you? So, you are willing to stand naked in front of his naked wife (the same woman who's BETTER than you in every way) and you'll be put in the position to please HER and HIM and you're thinking he'll fall in love with you? This man, and this woman, whatever dynamic they have going, are engaging in threesomes only a year a half after their marriage. She's inviting her friends and it's his turn find find an "extra" and ... this man had the audacity to ask you (who he was going to be married to) and now he's asking you to entertain his current wife and you are "hoping" that he'll fall in love with you? Read Tara's response above; 100 times. The answer is: NO …………….NO (10 billion times.) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Dancewithme Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Please tell yourself, " I am not THAT desperate, I am not THAT broken, that I will humiliate myself that way". Then, tell him. Chant it to yourself, over and over, 100 times a day. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Say it until you believe it. And, most of all go NC, now!!!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 He is married and has invited me for a 3some. They got married 1 and a half years ago. I was his last ex. gurl, he's invited you to service him and his wife. they get it off with another person, while they're married and then what? they discard them? think this through. if he does fall in love with you and leaves his wife for you, say you get married and you move to a castle in the forest together, how long before he approaches you to ask you to go out and troll some random person or an ex, to have sex with you both? hello??? this suggestion is not good for you. this will not go well for you. you have already finished with him. e.n. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Wow, I feel like I need to take a shower after I reading the OP question. Yuck 3 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 No, my advice is not only to not do it, but to cut him out of your life completely. Sorry you have feelings for him and some hope for reconciliation. Those feelings are wasted on a rotten guy. Quit making excuses and do what is right. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 What should I do? He's also been texting me casually for some reason every few weeks just to start a conversation, like how are you? I'm so confused and jealous. I should also point out that he was devastated when I broke up with him and he begged for me back for 2 months. Do NOT do the threesome. You're in no emotional state for that kinda stuff, esp with him, and it won't win him back. Probably the only reason he's been texting you is to try to finesse the threesome. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 It reads like your one of those people that live in constant drama. In your state of mind a threesome evening would turn out to be a train wreck experience for you. Ifsomehow someway you got your wish of having him fall in love with you he is a married man! Do you believe there would be no drama to wade through with that scenario? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 He is married and has invited me for a 3some. They got married 1 and a half years ago. I was his last ex. I still have feelings for him. He said they have 3somes a lot with her friends. Is this something I should go through with? I really miss him. What should I do? He's also been texting me casually for some reason every few weeks just to start a conversation, like how are you? I'm so confused and jealous. I should also point out that he was devastated when I broke up with him and he begged for me back for 2 months. I have nothing to add other than to answer your question of why has he been texting you for casual conversation recently and why has he said he misses you? It's because he wants to warm you up to the idea of having sex with both he and his wife. You don't just contact someone out of the blue and ask them for a threesome. He had to spend some time making nice with you before he revealed his true intent which is that he would like to use you for a bit of fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 OP, you are in love with this man so let me ask you this, do you really want to perform oral sex on his wife? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 OP, you are in love with this man so let me ask you this, do you really want to perform oral sex on his wife? That wouldn't necessarily be in the cards if it was a literal FMF. But she would probably have to endure watching him do oral on his wife and her on him. Link to post Share on other sites
OneMoreBW Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 He is married and has invited me for a 3some. They got married 1 and a half years ago. I was his last ex. I still have feelings for him. He said they have 3somes a lot with her friends. Is this something I should go through with? I really miss him. I'm hoping if I go through with this then he'll fall in love with me again, because he has told me he misses me too recently. I have no idea why his wife is allowing threesomes. I also feel like I'll probably start crying right when I walk into their new house. But I feel like this might be my last chance at getting him back. He was going to marry me, but I broke up with him and then he married her instead within 3-5 months. Biggest mistake of my life. We even had a fight a few months after we broke up when I found out he was marrying her, he said he's going to take care of her for the rest of her life because he loves her, and that he's glad I broke up with him because she's better in every way - that hurt me so much. What should I do? He's also been texting me casually for some reason every few weeks just to start a conversation, like how are you? I'm so confused and jealous. I should also point out that he was devastated when I broke up with him and he begged for me back for 2 months. Reading your message made me feel so pity of you. You seam so naive, so needy. And I bet this guy as well and he is using this to get into your pants. It's so sad to see young beautiful single women falling for this kind of crap. I really don't believe in this "3some" thing. I think he's just testing you to see how low you go for him. He wants to see how desperate you are. This guy is a total jerk. He had the option to not marry the other girl but you. He married the other girl but you still want to be around. He didn't married the other girl because you dumped him. He would not married you if you didn't had break with him. He's just playing you. You will be his side chick FOREVER. Don't trash your one life. You have just one and anyone deserve to be THE ONE AND ONLY ONE. By the end of the day he will be married with someone else and you will be alone and suffering. Happiness is a choice, love is a choice. Be wise. Read a lot about this! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 OP's post in video: Watch Saturday Night Live: Bad Idea Jeans Online | Hulu Link to post Share on other sites
Dancewithme Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Is it something in the water? Is it spring fever? Where are these OPs coming from? Are we as a society failing our girls? Is my generation raising them to think it's ok to put up with this type of pathetic and demeaning treatment from someone else's husband? Sorry for the rant. OP, please, you need to work to find your worth! How can you even entertain this man's request? After demeaning you, and marrying someone else? How disgusting for this man to ask you this, after messing you over the first time! You are not a disposable sex toy for MM and his wife to play with!!! Seek IC of some sort, find and assert your worth! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 This is such a sad situation OP. Why would you think it will help lure him away from his wife? Are you an out of this world karma sutra performer who no man can resist? Honestly this will simply humiliate you. ..... imagine her commanding you to blow her husband... While she watches on or gets in there and kisses him. He's got a wife who allows and enjoys a third person in the bedroom .... that's most guys dream ... why would he come to you and leave that behind? I'm struggling to comprehend why you'd even consider this and not feel insulted. You had him ... you dumped him ... now you need to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Hamilton Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 (edited) He is married and has invited me for a 3some. They got married 1 and a half years ago. I was his last ex. I still have feelings for him. He said they have 3somes a lot with her friends. Is this something I should go through with? I really miss him. I'm hoping if I go through with this then he'll fall in love with me again, because he has told me he misses me too recently. I have no idea why his wife is allowing threesomes. I also feel like I'll probably start crying right when I walk into their new house. But I feel like this might be my last chance at getting him back. He was going to marry me, but I broke up with him and then he married her instead within 3-5 months. Biggest mistake of my life. We even had a fight a few months after we broke up when I found out he was marrying her, he said he's going to take care of her for the rest of her life because he loves her, and that he's glad I broke up with him because she's better in every way - that hurt me so much. What should I do? He's also been texting me casually for some reason every few weeks just to start a conversation, like how are you? I'm so confused and jealous. I should also point out that he was devastated when I broke up with him and he begged for me back for 2 months. Well you started the thread with a frowny face and said when you walk into their house, you'd start crying. So I pretty much think that's your answer. I wouldn't take the declarations he misses you and casual talking as anything other than a guy who asked you to have a threesome and wants you to say yes. And he couldn't have been too devastated to lose you as he was remarried less than 5 months after you left. Oh, and he's inviting you to have sex with him and possibly sex with his wife. So... I mean... He's looking out for her here too. It's not like he's making plans to reignite love, he's told his wife "She's an ex and I slept with her, I want to sleep with her again and I think you'll enjoy it too." Somewhere in there perhaps there's a compliment, but for the life of me, I don't see it. Chances are, if you sleep with him, he won't leave his wife for you. He's not asking for a relationship, he's asking for sex. Considering you're angry, jealous, emotional, and fragile, I wouldn't go near this beehive of misery if I were you. Edited May 4, 2016 by Lady Hamilton 5 Link to post Share on other sites
13Hearts Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I can't believe you consider this guy a catch or something and want him back. Look, people are going to respond with a lot of reasons why he's not the one and why you should not degrade yourself by agreeing to this 3some. But what I want to tell you is larger than that. As a woman, you are in charge of knowing what you want and having a clear picture of what that is. You had that, didn't you, before you dumped him. That's why you dumped him. You'd had enough experience with him that you knew he could not give you what you want. You knew this either consciously or subconsciously. Then, for whatever reason, you forgot. Or you second guessed your self, your wants, or your judgment. Here is what I know: When a woman knows, she knows. But we are horrible at staying the course, trusting our selves, trusting our intuition, and trusting our decisions. Trust yourself. Learn how to stay the course and not look back. Learn how to heal whatever hurt you had in your heart when you dumped him and MOVE ON. There are so many good, available men, why on earth would you obsess about this one, or a married one??? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
2016forme Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 He is married and has invited me for a 3some. They got married 1 and a half years ago. I was his last ex. I still have feelings for him. He said they have 3somes a lot with her friends. Is this something I should go through with? I really miss him. I'm hoping if I go through with this then he'll fall in love with me again, because he has told me he misses me too recently. I have no idea why his wife is allowing threesomes. I also feel like I'll probably start crying right when I walk into their new house. But I feel like this might be my last chance at getting him back. He was going to marry me, but I broke up with him and then he married her instead within 3-5 months. Biggest mistake of my life. We even had a fight a few months after we broke up when I found out he was marrying her, he said he's going to take care of her for the rest of her life because he loves her, and that he's glad I broke up with him because she's better in every way - that hurt me so much. What should I do? He's also been texting me casually for some reason every few weeks just to start a conversation, like how are you? I'm so confused and jealous. I should also point out that he was devastated when I broke up with him and he begged for me back for 2 months. You are fooling yourself into believing that you can win your MM back! PSYCHE! That will never happen! There is no need for you to worry or ask why is your MM's wife allowing an outsider into their intimacy! Let them take care of that! Without further ado, the final answer is NO THREESOME! NO WAY JOSE! Let go of your MM! He's clearly using you like a carpenter uses a tool! Go on with your life and don't look back! Otherwise, you will feel like pure dirt and trash if you belittle yourself into a"three way combo"! You're in the middle like a sex sandwich! What kind of marriage is THAT? ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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