snuggletuggle1214 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 (edited) My husband and I have been married since 2014, have been together since 2008. We have two kids together. Mid March, he was charged with felony domestic assault (roid rager) and had a no contact protective order put against him until mid May. We were texting each other up until May 1st. Long story short, found out he was definitely seeing someone after he lied. The 2nd time he had seen our kids in 6 weeks after me begging him to see them each time he decided to take them to her home. My oldest told me they went to "his friend Ashley's house and played with her puppies." I implemented NO CONTACT. It's been two days and he emailed me saying "how are the boys?" Mind you, he hasn't given me a penny during this time, leaving me with all of the bills, I had to quit my job, lost medical insurance, he bought a new car with payments. I'm feeling very guilty for not replying. Is he genuinely concerned about our children? Or is he just a manipulative narcissist? Should I reply? If so, what do I say? PLEASE DONT JUDGE ME! Edited May 4, 2016 by snuggletuggle1214 Typo Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Maybe he's concerned about your kids. I can't say. But if there is a court order in place saying NC, he's committing a crime by sending you the text. Save all communication you get from him as evidence. There should be a mechanism through probation where he goes through them to arrange to see & talk to the kids. Have your lawyer send him a letter setting that up But no, you should not reply to the text, nor should you feel guilty. Do what's best for your children and allow a relationship to flourish if he follows the rules & arranges visitation safely through probation. Link to post Share on other sites
gemini6 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 No judgement here Listen, It's not your responsibility to ensure he has a relationship with the boys, that's on him. You don't have to bend over backwards to ensure he can see them, you don't have to feel guilty for not responding - what he's done to you, is wrong. He chose to leave his family through his actions - that choice is his and his alone. You are not to blame and you are not obligated to try and fix things - that's his responsibility. You said you begged him to see the boys?? You shouldn't have to beg him to see his children! That's a pathetic man right there honey! I would stay No Contact and see if he really wants to be a father - if he doesn't, he doesn't, you can't force him to be one. Sad as it is, the choice again is on him. If he wants to be a father..well, make him prove it, one "how are the boys" text message is pretty insufficient if you ask me....No need to beat yourself up, you aren't keeping him away from them he's keeping away all on his own... Link to post Share on other sites
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