desert moon Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 what makes a person cheat? - just meeting the most attractive person who happens to be interested in you - unhappy with marriage - or is it a certain personality that cheats Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Most people argue with me, but my opinion is that people cheat to fill a void in their present relationship. Others will say that certain people are hard wired to cheat, (I personally don't buy that). Others will say that some people are nymphos and can't control themselves.......I stick to my opinion and claim that it's usually because something isn't being fulfilled in their present relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
JPMorgan Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by desert moon what makes a person cheat? - just meeting the most attractive person who happens to be interested in you - unhappy with marriage - or is it a certain personality that cheats Selfishness Ignorance Immaturity Character flaw Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by Moose Most people argue with me, but my opinion is that people cheat to fill a void in their present relationship. Others will say that certain people are hard wired to cheat, (I personally don't buy that). Others will say that some people are nymphos and can't control themselves.......I stick to my opinion and claim that it's usually because something isn't being fulfilled in their present relationship. I happen to agree with you. Cheating (defined by me as breaking a promise to another that you won't engage in any kind of sexual contact - kissing on lips or more - with any other person) is usually a means of acknowledging or communicating that someone isn't happy in their relationship. There may be other factors, e.g. horniness, alcohol, a desire to inspire jealousy and passion, or the thought that being caught is impossible, but those are only catalysts. At the end of the day, someone who is truly happy in a relationship will not cheat, no matter what other extenuating circumstances are involved. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 A lack of integrity. Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 No respect or remorse for others, only thinking of themselves and their wants, that's what leads to cheating the rest is how the other person makes the pretty picture look. Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 A lack of integrity. I think this presupposes that the person is just weak. Every woman who has cheated on me either wanted to break up with me, or piss me off. While ideally they would have just told me they were angry at me or they wanted to break up, the cheating was just the insult, not the actual injury. Has anyone ever cheated on someone or been cheated on when everything was fine between them? Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 A lack of integrity. Well, you can be an integer cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Making a wrong decision is NOT an example of a character flaw. This thread is going to be pointless eventually, there are too many people with too many factors cheating right now to cover with random generalizations. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by desert moon what makes a person cheat? - just meeting the most attractive person who happens to be interested in you - unhappy with marriage - or is it a certain personality that cheats SELFISHNESS!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Afool4him Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 I agree with a lot of you... In my case my ex cheated because he was high on drugs. He cheated cause the girl he cheated on me with was DIFFERENT than what I am. I am responsible and intelligent, down to earth, I don't do drugs, I know how and when to have fun. He also thought that the grass was greener on the other side, TOO BAD though, he realizes the grass turned out to be WEEDS. I think they cheat because they are afraid of committment, or want to have their fun before they get tied down to one person. I think cheaters also cheat cause they are not happy, but if you are not happy, JUST LEAVE, no use in cheating. Some cheaters are just nymphos that cannot get enough...it depends on the person... It all boils down to the fact that it doesn't matter WHY they cheat, it should just be enough that they DID IT. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock Making a wrong decision is NOT an example of a character flaw. This thread is going to be pointless eventually, there are too many people with too many factors cheating right now to cover with random generalizations. I agree. It will be different for most everyone in someway. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Just because there will be differences in the particulars of each scenario doesn't mean that there can't exist some similarities amongst the perpetrators. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 No one said there wasn't. Just that the thread would eventually become pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 It's human nature. Can't help it. Nature of the beast. Some of us don't do it but then again not everyone steals or kills. This is all covered on this thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=501444#post501444 Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Lonlyness Link to post Share on other sites
Finally Free Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 As a person that has been cheated on and a former cheater--I would have to say certain toxins will inhibit behavior not normal to oneself, but from a different perspective that none of you chose to take-- A person can cheat when they need to fulfill that need to be wanted. If their significant other wants them, and they still don't feel it then it causes them to look elsewhere, this usually is because although they love the person they are with and don't want to feel this way, it is brought upon by childhood unhappiness, ie a parent not paying enough attention to that child or more importantly a psychological need to just feel wanted by anyone! It isn't that this cheater is a horrible person, but they don't know how to deal without that feeling of want and being wanted back. It's a horrible feeling and it can be overcome, talk it out with the cheater, perhaps there is more to the cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
MySugaree Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 No one said there wasn't. Just that the thread would eventually become pointless. What do you mean "eventually"? People cheat for many of the same reasons they fall in love. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 i have cheated outta spite. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita i have cheated outta spite. And?? Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 And?? and what? that was one reason why I cheated, hence the question, 'what makes a person cheat?' Link to post Share on other sites
zack121 Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 I think people cheat becuase... (1) Unhappy. (2) Outside influences (3) To test the water before taking a swim and to a lesser extent (4) to inflict some pain on the other person (either consiously or sub consiously) Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita and what? that was one reason why I cheated, hence the question, 'what makes a person cheat?' Yeah, but I think that falls into one of the broader afore-mentioned categories. Link to post Share on other sites
harleygirl92156 Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Cheaters cheat because they are not happy with THEMSELVES!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Many things can cause the person to say 'yes' when they could have said 'no': 1. Spur of the moment ONS with a low risk of being caught. 2. EA's that fulfill an emotional void the MM or MW feels they have with their W or H. 3. PA's that fulfill sexual and emotional voids the MM or MW feels they have with their W or H. 4. Buried anger/hostility toward the H or W - a deliberate act to hurt them. They key thing to remember is that even though you as the BS may have seen the relationship as 'perfect' and 'happy' - your WS may have given you the impression that they were happy and content but saw and felt a void in your relationship and failed to tell you about it. Was there a void? Maybe, maybe not - but as long as the WS FEELS there is a void that the W or H cannot fill, then they will look for outside ways to fill that perceived void. In a sense, it is something 'wrong' inside the WS - they sense a void, a missing piece in the relationship they have with you and they seek to diminish that loneliness or lack of connection - or they have a buried hostility toward you and are acting out on that. It depends entirely on the WS, and their perceptions of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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