SexKitten Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 lack of respect (in all forms) and the inability to finish something before starting another. Link to post Share on other sites
rocketfanatic Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 I am about to be married. However, I learned that my fiance' has cheated on me. However, the way I learned that is not good either. I read an email from her to him when she found out he was getting married. I'm sure you can figure out how I was able to read his email. I feel really bad about it and almost wish I had never read it. I honestly believe he was trying to feel desirable and she gave that to him. We have a great sex life but he loves women and sex. I just don't know what to do, if anything, or just pretend that I never read the email. Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Originally posted by rocketfanatic I am about to be married. However, I learned that my fiance' has cheated on me. However, the way I learned that is not good either. I read an email from her to him when she found out he was getting married. I'm sure you can figure out how I was able to read his email. I feel really bad about it and almost wish I had never read it. I honestly believe he was trying to feel desirable and she gave that to him. We have a great sex life but he loves women and sex. I just don't know what to do, if anything, or just pretend that I never read the email. Please help! start a new thread..... you will get more replies. Link to post Share on other sites
jacquelyn Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 A person cheats because: 1)whatever their relationship is lacking, the "other" person gives it 2)spur of the moment 3)to test the water before getting tied down legally 4)attraction 5)revenge (as in to intentionally hurt their SO) I listed them according to strongest reason to weakest or should I say, the more common to least. Link to post Share on other sites
BikerChick83 Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 well i have to say it can b wrong but also right i mean no one cant helps how they feel can they i know i cant..... but if u just want to blow of steam i do think thats wrong but.. if there is defo feelins well cant b helps .. tha my point of view! Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Beer. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 All sorts of things...but there do seem to be some people who have a insatiable desire for slithering their way through life. Whether they're cheating at monopoly, fiddling the welfare system, conning old ladies out of their life savings or doing the dirty on their partner. Really they're lost souls who just need a caring partner (or three) to understand and "reach out" to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Iluvsiamese Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 I don't think that you can say that there is only one reason. There are the people who cheat once, maybe twice and then there are the habitual cheaters. The once or twice ones will have various reasons that have already been covered. The habitual cheaters are people who have a problem. Maybe they are lacking in backbone and this is what they use to end a relationship. Others are the kind who are missing something and here is where I disagree with someone else's statement. It is often not within their relationship that the something is missing. It is within themselves and it shows in other areas of their lives. There is always the elusive "something better" that they are in pursuit of--a new car, a new stereo, a new house, new furniture, new partner.........ad infinitum. The problem is that the new whatever doesn't bring the fulfillment that they thought it would or that the fulfillment was only temporary and so they move on, still searching for something that will make them happy. Thrill junkies maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Originally posted by Iluvsiamese It is often not within their relationship that the something is missing. It is within themselves and it shows in other areas of their lives. Amen to that Iluv I went back to my counselor yesterday because I'm not getting over the pain and she assured me over and over it wasn't me with the problem - it was him. I kept falling back on the "I feel stupid for not knowing, I feel ugly that he has to look for others, etc., etc." She opened my eyes to alot of things that I failed to see. Now when I look at him I can see alot of so called "problems and issues" with him that I guess I overlooked. For example: I used to tell my H that he was so laid-back - really never got that angry at anything. He really was. When he was pulling the wool over my eyes, he was fine. The past 2 years (since I've found out what kind of person he really is), the anger and temper have really come out. When things don't go his way, he is the most angry man I have ever known. When he's mad - he will pound his fists, his face gets red, and he will shake. He's never hit me but sometimes I wonder if he would at this point. A complete turnaround from before. So I'm noticing more and more that he really has alot of problems surface besides the cheating. SueBee Link to post Share on other sites
Iluvsiamese Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 It's an interesting thing. I have often wondered what it is that is missing? Though my ex never cheated (too much effort on his part) there were alot of other things that fell into the category of looking for that elusive "something." I could beg him to look after something at our house and it would never happen. But have an aquaintance or a stranger ask him to assist and he was there in a flash. At the end of our marriage I was shovelling the driveway after a blizzard and where was he? Helping the next door neighbour clear his driveway and he had a snowblower! I could go on and on. It took 14+ years of this sort of thing and much, much more before I finally gave up and called it quits. Of course, it was ALL my fault. Link to post Share on other sites
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