Emotional Affair

[PinkSunset]

 

I was in the ballpark with the KISA thing....interesting, because I have it myself, and the result in my case is that I suspend normal caution, disbelief etc when I think I'm with someone in need of my rescue. Could anything of the kind be going on with you? Are you overly trusting

when someone appeals to your protective instincts?

 

 

 

Wanted to add that yes, I am definitely over trusting. It has gotten me into bad places in the past. It was one of the things my therapist and I tried to work on a few years ago.

[SomethingToSay]

You say you are trying to watch his actions but him going NC makes it difficult to know what he has done.

 

Him going NC is the action. The one that signals where this man is at.

 

You must assume and proceed as if he is still married and continuing to be married, until he shows you otherwise.

 

Going NC with you is very telling.

[SomethingToSay]

^ this

 

You have to realize, its not that he doesmt want a divorce per se. Its that he doesnt want all the hardship and stuff that comes along with it (loss of money, less time with child, stigma, losing friends/inlaws, hurting wife, etc etc

 

Its mich easier for him to perpetuate this "I love you and wanna leave but just cant" narrative. Or keep you hanging on with the "hopefully circumstances will change soon and then I can leave"....He wants to avoid anything hard or negative. All the while you are comveniently meeting his needs for romance and companionship etc etc. Its much easier to just keep lieing with you as OW than face divorce

 

So the NC he is doing is basically punishment/manipulation for deigning to push him out of this comfort zone. Or he is just too cowardly to face you and tell you he hasnt dont anything

[stilltrying16]

Wanted to add that yes, I am definitely over trusting. It has gotten me into bad places in the past. It was one of the things my therapist and I tried to work on a few years ago.

 

So knowing that, what do you think your next step should be?

 

The whole thing could be made up. And if it's not, it is messy beyond belief. Such an unhealthy dynamic and it's one thing piling on another: a miscarriage; drinking; a BW who allegedly rages; an MM who alternates between conflict avoidance and bullying, and who blameshifts on his W, & on you? It's mind-boggling that MM says he's staying for his 7 year old son. What must this poor little boy be exposed to if the set up is as toic as it seems? It's really unconvincing for Jamie to say he's stayed for the child.

 

Thank you so much!

 

I know just from what he's told me, and I know everyone here says that I can't just go by what he is saying... I guess that is true, but I have no other way to know other than what he says.

I am trying to pay more attention to his actions more so than his words but with being NC it's hard to know what he's done. It's also been over a week since I've seen him and that is also hard

 

There is no other way- you're right. So that means you don't know at all what's going on and you can't be sure any of it is real.

 

Most affairs are built on secrets and one partner usually ends up having to rely- to a point-on the word of the other. But usually there is SOME external verification. Here there is none- at all. Not even the possibility of it, unless you hire a PI. For instance, there isn't a mutual circle of friends, or even gossip, against which you could measure Jamie's version of things. All of it raises so many doubts. I could be wrong, but that's what Kevin seemed to sense when tried to put a stop to Jamie's complaints about her- and told him to make a bigger effort with his wife.

 

It must be really painful, and very hard to do the NC. I am so sorry. But the NC will work- it's the only thing that will. Be sure NOT to wrap it up in guilt. Do you read other threads here from OW and OM working on NC? People struggled honestly but they made it, and in every instance something good was waiting for them on the other side.

Please steer clear, PinkSunset. It's very painful but it will get better. Also please be wary of his blame-shifting. With your inclination to feel guilty about everything and his talent at guilt-tripping others, you could be trapped so easily. Practice some of the KISA stuff on yourself. You and the little boy and very likely BW seem to me to be more in need of it than Jamie!

 

Paying attention to his actions means waiting till he produces those divorce papers. That may be a long wait, but there is no alternative. You have such great advice on this thread. I really hope it continues to help. Rooting for you!

[AlwaysGrowing]

So much focus on this MM and so little on yourself.

 

From how you have described your XBF, he seemed to have the core qualities that one would look for in a mate. Openly discussing any issues that he sees or feels. You know...an adult.

 

Instead you disregarded his opinions and continued with an inappropriate relationship, one that has at its core....a bonding built on the tearing down of his wife.

 

There are a few OW that to this day.....years out from being in the affair and now married to the MM still post on forums lamenting about how awful the XBW wife is (and generally all BW). The initial bond was over mutual dislike of the XBW and the relationship to this day is still fixated on that premise. It's like the FOW now wife still needs a rival to compare themselves to. They got their validation from being chosen over the wife and still need to feed that validation. And it is so very easy to continue to take the inventory of the XBW to make themselves feel better than. (Note I did not say all).

 

IMHO....you have put yourself on a toxic thought process path. You left a healthy relationship when confronted with an issue, that most would have agreed with your XBF on. Your XBF did not cause tension between you both....he stated what he was uncomfortable with, instead of addressing the issue....you decided to hide it. Why? What does being the rescuer feed? Do you need to be "in charge"? Do you need to be the one that unilaterally decides what is best? If so...why? Where is this why rooted?

 

If you have a history of seeking out rescuer type relationships....would it not be wise to address this issue so that you don't lead yourself astray? It isn't enough to just acknowledge the issue...you have to figure out why then repair it.

[SomethingToSay]

Always post reminded me of something that has stuck out and bugged me from your earlier posts. You said when you saw BW alone socially she comolained Jamie didnt help out at home. You then said: "She is a liar."

 

I guess what Im curious about is how you are so quick to pointblank call this woman a liar when you have no firsthand knowledge of what happens in their home. Yet at the same time you are struggling so hard to realize everything Jamie has said may not be truthful.

 

I agree the villification of his BW as a major driving theme in this relationship is quite unhealthy.

[Onlywhenitrains]

Pink Sunset - I'm rooting for you to take all the great advice you've been getting on this board. I truly hope you do.

 

His situation in his marriage is his problem, that is if he considers it to be a problem. And, only him and his wife can sort it out. YOU CAN NOT.

 

Confusion you feel and unconfirmed info on their situation that you have right is just a vicious circle that will have utterly destructive consequence for you. Unless you remove yourself from it. You can not solve their problems. They should do that.

 

If he really want the life with you, he will be transparent about his desires to be with you, and he will be completely transparent about steps he is taking to achieve that and timeline it takes to get there. HIS BEHAVIOUR DEMONSTRATES NONE OF THAT. All other members who commented on your thread have been pointing out that so far.

 

As someone who's been in a A with MM for a year and is going through NC withdrawal and all that comes with that - I really, really want to help you choose the right path, which is focusing on yourself and your life. As everyone here wants to help you do that. But, we can't do that for you. You have to do that!

 

You don't want relationship with him in a state he is in right now. You want to build it on a solid grounds that will allow the relationship between Jamie and you to grow and last. He is not capable of that right now. And, I'm not convinced you are either.

 

Just my 2 cents. I really wish you all the best!

[ShatteredLady]

This just occurred to me...I haven't even sense checked it yet...

 

You were in a long term relationship, long enough that he at the big decisions stage. Kevin called you out. He criticized you, honestly he was correct, completely....He tried to save you.

 

(& by the way I'd bet money he's cried many tears over you! Real, genuine tears over YOU, not just for himself!)

 

You opened this thread with the choice....Do I whatever with Jamie OR do I try to get Kevin back?

 

You can't get Kevin back! He tried to stop this, help BOTH of you every step. Save you from yourself because that's what you do when you love someone. Help Jamie because YOU cared about him. He did pretty much everything except sacrifice his dignity & bare witness to your affair!

 

Kevin left you because YOU left him!

 

If you don't end-up with Jamie it's bloody tragic isn't it?

 

You threw away a man who loved you. You say you had a great relationship before your affair. Your ONLY criticism of Kevin is "He's working class. He doesn't cry, paralyzed by inaction to get other women to save him". Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

Why were you talking about trying to get Kevin back before members told you 'No chance'?

 

Sorry, I'm not sure I'm explaining myself well. If the story had been just the same, except no Kevin, you were single from the start...

 

....You don't seem like the kind of person to poach another woman's husband!

 

You didn't have some amazing friendship or sexual chemistry before you started consoling him about his wife & Kevin started warning you to pull back...(& Jamie to man-up & sort his marriage.)

 

I don't know! .....If nothing happens between you & MM. If you stop advising & 'helping' him? If he takes Kevin's advise & works on his marriage....?????

 

Wasn't Kevin right? Weren't you very wrong AND very guilty of something morally bad? Weren't you played by a very sad man with a very sad story? Didn't you throw away a man you loved to be a sob-stories blankie?

[ShatteredLady]

I'm a "people pleaser" to a fault. I'm Mummy! My joy & meaning in life is completely dependent on the happiness of the people I love. I don't love many people but those I do I give my all.

[onemanband]

after reading all of this go back and read the the first post

[elaine567]

I think faced with two interested men, Pink Sunset chose to "upgrade".

 

Jamie with his moneyed wife, his business connections and his "charm" and the fact he needed the OP, was a better bet, than the more plodding, down to earth, independent Kevin.

Jamie's marriage was "obviously" going down the toilet, so he would soon be free anyway. His harridan of a wife would soon be jettisoned to leave Jamie available, add a bit of care and attention and he would be as good as new.

 

Given the choice of the boring but reliable family saloon, or the sports car that has seen better days, the chance to renovate and repair, to make something great again, was too good to miss.

 

I am not however sure if Jamie sees Pink Sunset as a "upgrade" in quite the same way, and that is where her plan may go awry.

He is not really acting like a man happy to be "saved", at the moment.

[Cloudcuckoo]

I can't get past the lack of empathy for a woman who has suffered the terrible loss of a child, followed by fantasies of bearing children with that same woman's husband...

 

What a crushing discovery that would be.

 

It makes me queezy to say the least.

 

You simply don't ever get over losing a child, that isn't how it's supposed to be.

 

My daughter and her husband's first daughter was born sleeping just weeks before she should have been born awake, pink and angry at having her bubble popped.

 

Two healthy children later, she has just discovered her partner through all that devastating grief and loss has been having an affair.

 

Be careful what you wish for Pinksunset, you might just get it....

[stilltrying16]

PinkSunset, I think what might have given Jamie the edge over Kevin is your conviction that Jamie needed rescuing and Kevin didn't. And you needed someone to need you. Just a thought...again, it could be just projection on my part!

 

If that's the case, though, then your therapist really will be able to help. It could show you why Jamie has this hold on your imagination. I honestly don't see that Jamie has anything to recommend him other than the fact that you think he needs you. Of course I'm going only on the basis of what I've read in your thread and could be way off. But if I'm not, then NC won't remain this hard and you will come out of the whole experience heartwhole and stronger. That's what I wish for you. Sending you strength and hugs, as always.

[PinkSunset]

This just occurred to me...I haven't even sense checked it yet...

 

You were in a long term relationship, long enough that he at the big decisions stage. Kevin called you out. He criticized you, honestly he was correct, completely....He tried to save you.

 

(& by the way I'd bet money he's cried many tears over you! Real, genuine tears over YOU, not just for himself!)

 

You opened this thread with the choice....Do I whatever with Jamie OR do I try to get Kevin back?

 

You can't get Kevin back! He tried to stop this, help BOTH of you every step. Save you from yourself because that's what you do when you love someone. Help Jamie because YOU cared about him. He did pretty much everything except sacrifice his dignity & bare witness to your affair!

 

Kevin left you because YOU left him!

 

If you don't end-up with Jamie it's bloody tragic isn't it?

 

You threw away a man who loved you. You say you had a great relationship before your affair. Your ONLY criticism of Kevin is "He's working class. He doesn't cry, paralyzed by inaction to get other women to save him". Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

Why were you talking about trying to get Kevin back before members told you 'No chance'?

 

Sorry, I'm not sure I'm explaining myself well. If the story had been just the same, except no Kevin, you were single from the start...

 

....You don't seem like the kind of person to poach another woman's husband!

 

You didn't have some amazing friendship or sexual chemistry before you started consoling him about his wife & Kevin started warning you to pull back...(& Jamie to man-up & sort his marriage.)

 

I don't know! .....If nothing happens between you & MM. If you stop advising & 'helping' him? If he takes Kevin's advise & works on his marriage....?????

 

Wasn't Kevin right? Weren't you very wrong AND very guilty of something morally bad? Weren't you played by a very sad man with a very sad story? Didn't you throw away a man you loved to be a sob-stories blankie?

 

I feel guilt everyday for what I did to Kevin. My first post was definitely where my mind was at in that moment. I have since realized that trying to get Kevin back, esp at this point is the wrong thing to do.

He was practically right about everything. I called him last week and he still has not returned my call. I don't believe he will at any point in time either.

 

I think faced with two interested men, Pink Sunset chose to "upgrade".

 

Jamie with his moneyed wife, his business connections and his "charm" and the fact he needed the OP, was a better bet, than the more plodding, down to earth, independent Kevin.

Jamie's marriage was "obviously" going down the toilet, so he would soon be free anyway. His harridan of a wife would soon be jettisoned to leave Jamie available, add a bit of care and attention and he would be as good as new.

 

Given the choice of the boring but reliable family saloon, or the sports car that has seen better days, the chance to renovate and repair, to make something great again, was too good to miss.

 

I am not however sure if Jamie sees Pink Sunset as a "upgrade" in quite the same way, and that is where her plan may go awry.

He is not really acting like a man happy to be "saved", at the moment.

 

You might be right in the sense that I felt I was upgrading, only in the way that Jamie and I connect emotionally... Money etc doesn't matter to me, I have my own.

I do like to help people and help make their lives better. I think I definitely see or saw Jamie as a charity needing my help. I am starting to see that maybe I was wrong... His compleye NC since Monday is tearing me apart. If he cared or wanted to continue moving forward why be this way?

 

I can't get past the lack of empathy for a woman who has suffered the terrible loss of a child, followed by fantasies of bearing children with that same woman's husband...

 

What a crushing discovery that would be.

 

It makes me queezy to say the least.

 

You simply don't ever get over losing a child, that isn't how it's supposed to be.

 

My daughter and her husband's first daughter was born sleeping just weeks before she should have been born awake, pink and angry at having her bubble popped.

 

Two healthy children later, she has just discovered her partner through all that devastating grief and loss has been having an affair.

 

Be careful what you wish for Pinksunset, you might just get it....

 

I am sorry for your loss, and also for what your daughter is going through.

 

I should have more empathy for her after what she went through. I am not a mother, I can't even imagine.

Planning a family with her husband is not the right thing to do, I know. I must really sound like a terrible person.

I am still somehow using the way she treats him as an excuse. I am really trying to move passed that. I realize I know nothing of what goes on in their marriage.

 

 

PinkSunset, I think what might have given Jamie the edge over Kevin is your conviction that Jamie needed rescuing and Kevin didn't. And you needed someone to need you. Just a thought...again, it could be just projection on my part!

 

If that's the case, though, then your therapist really will be able to help. It could show you why Jamie has this hold on your imagination. I honestly don't see that Jamie has anything to recommend him other than the fact that you think he needs you. Of course I'm going only on the basis of what I've read in your thread and could be way off. But if I'm not, then NC won't remain this hard and you will come out of the whole experience heartwhole and stronger. That's what I wish for you. Sending you strength and hugs, as always.

 

You are exactly right in what you're saying. Thank you for your posts, they have really helped.

I am going to stay NC for as long as it takes. If he doesn't contact me soon I will consider this over and that he does not want a divorce.

 

 

I don't get how he can just not contact me as a form of punishment... Like I am a child that he gets to punish with his silence. I am so angry over this. I deserve an explanation not silence!

[SomethingToSay]

Yes you deserve an explanation.....his wife deserves the truth.....there is alot of mistreatment going around

 

As for your truth, I think at some point you must accept that the truth is Jamie loved to fantasize about leaving and how he is trapped and so forth....but tha painful truth is he just doesnt want to face all the struggles that come with that. He probably does love you....in your current role as emotional support/special friend/AP. And Im sure he "wishes" circumstances were different but at the same time is not willing to DO anything to make those circumstances different.

 

Another possibility is his wife had aDDay...looked thru his ohine while he was passed out....and he has going NC to save his marriage.

 

Just out of curiosity had you ever checked his wifes social media pages?

[ChickiePops]

I feel guilt everyday for what I did to Kevin. My first post was definitely where my mind was at in that moment. I have since realized that trying to get Kevin back, esp at this point is the wrong thing to do.

He was practically right about everything. I called him last week and he still has not returned my call. I don't believe he will at any point in time either.

 

 

 

You might be right in the sense that I felt I was upgrading, only in the way that Jamie and I connect emotionally... Money etc doesn't matter to me, I have my own.

I do like to help people and help make their lives better. I think I definitely see or saw Jamie as a charity needing my help. I am starting to see that maybe I was wrong... His compleye NC since Monday is tearing me apart. If he cared or wanted to continue moving forward why be this way?

 

 

 

I am sorry for your loss, and also for what your daughter is going through.

 

I should have more empathy for her after what she went through. I am not a mother, I can't even imagine.

Planning a family with her husband is not the right thing to do, I know. I must really sound like a terrible person.

I am still somehow using the way she treats him as an excuse. I am really trying to move passed that. I realize I know nothing of what goes on in their marriage.

 

 

 

 

You are exactly right in what you're saying. Thank you for your posts, they have really helped.

I am going to stay NC for as long as it takes. If he doesn't contact me soon I will consider this over and that he does not want a divorce.

 

 

I don't get how he can just not contact me as a form of punishment... Like I am a child that he gets to punish with his silence. I am so angry over this. I deserve an explanation not silence!

 

He's angry that you pushed him into action when he would have preferred to stay in his comfortable cocoon of your love and his wife's money.

 

You absolutely, 100% did the right thing, and if he tries to blame you for making him divorce you should smack him across the face, turn around, and walk away forever.

 

He doesn't sound like much of a prize to me honestly..cheats on his grieving wife..makes excuses for why he can't leave..gives you the silent treatment (my ex-fiance's favorite toy when we were fighting and also considered a form of abuse) when you finally do tell him you'll leave if he doesn't divorce..talks badly about a woman he chose to marry and procreate with..etc etc.

 

Your relationship up until now has been centered on the drama of the affair. That was not real life..this is. You're getting actual Jamie now, not fun times, sneaking around, woe is me my life is so hard Jamie. You're going to see him for who he really is. Be prepared. The odds of this mess actually working out are very slim.

 

Having an affair was very wrong. Vilifying his wife because he's doing it is also wrong. But you're on the right path now, as much as it hurts. You made some whopping mistakes but you ended up doing a good thing by forcing his hand. Don't let him convince you otherwise.

[SomethingToSay]

It is definitely refreshing to see an OW who is willing to recognize the wrongness -- not just on a moral level but on a personal self-respect level -- and put a halt to an affair.

 

Altho i still worry if/when he re-emerges you will once again fall pray to "Jamie Says". Good for you not contacting him though. Thats very strong of you and certainly the right thing to do.

[PinkSunset]

So, just received a call from MM.

 

He went to the lawyer yesterday and they discussed a separation agreement, he said he doesn't want anything from her besides shared custody. The lawyer said there should be no reason for him not to get that, and if she starts throwing accusations she will need proof.

I asked if he drew up the separation agreement and he said no. That he wants to sit down and discuss it with his wife first without blindsiding her.

I asked how he can blindside her, if he has already told her he wanted out.

Apparently him wanting a divorce is something he says all the time when they argue but never goes through with it and never brings papers or anything. I guess this is the first time he will actually DO something.

 

He wants to see me tomorrow. Go figure. The first thing that came to mind was that tomorrow is THURSDAY! No wonder he is smoothing it over. He wants to see me and possibly get where we were going!

 

I hope ya'll are proud of me because I told him I won't see him until he has papers to show me!

 

Then it was "It's been almost two weeks, I miss you". Just like everyone said.

God, it's like clockwork. Is Jamie really the same as all of these other married men?!!!! I had almost started laughing at what he said because it was said on this forum so many times! LOL

 

I guess we will see if he comes to me with papers? I think this is the first time I have smiled in almost a week. I am trying not to get my hopes up though.He is supposed to let me know how it goes with her tonight.

[PinkSunset]

 

Just out of curiosity had you ever checked his wifes social media pages?

 

Her account is locked up to the nines. You can't see much at all... Her cover photo is of her son on a boat. I am assuming it's her parents boat as they don't own one. Her profile picture is of her and her son in a garden. That is all I can see though. I can't go through her pictures either.

 

I could probably friend request her and she would accept but I feel it's pretty deceptive.

I could do it to check on Jamie and how she is faking their happiness but I'm not interested in that.

[AlwaysGrowing]

So, just received a call from MM.

 

He went to the lawyer yesterday and they discussed a separation agreement, he said he doesn't want anything from her besides shared custody. The lawyer said there should be no reason for him not to get that, and if she starts throwing accusations she will need proof.

I asked if he drew up the separation agreement and he said no. That he wants to sit down and discuss it with his wife first without blindsiding her.

I asked how he can blindside her, if he has already told her he wanted out.

Apparently him wanting a divorce is something he says all the time when they argue but never goes through with it and never brings papers or anything. I guess this is the first time he will actually DO something.

 

He wants to see me tomorrow. Go figure. The first thing that came to mind was that tomorrow is THURSDAY! No wonder he is smoothing it over. He wants to see me and possibly get where we were going!

 

I hope ya'll are proud of me because I told him I won't see him until he has papers to show me!

 

Then it was "It's been almost two weeks, I miss you". Just like everyone said.

God, it's like clockwork. Is Jamie really the same as all of these other married men?!!!! I had almost started laughing at what he said because it was said on this forum so many times! LOL

 

I guess we will see if he comes to me with papers? I think this is the first time I have smiled in almost a week. I am trying not to get my hopes up though.He is supposed to let me know how it goes with her tonight.

 

Again......it shouldn't make a difference whether or not if he is married.

 

This relationship was built on you needing a "project". Why does a "weak" man appeal to you?

 

Of course Kevin was right. He was so right in fact....that he probably doesn't even want to even open up that can of worms again.....life is too short to spend all your time banging your head against some mad buggers wall.

[PinkSunset]

He's angry that you pushed him into action when he would have preferred to stay in his comfortable cocoon of your love and his wife's money.

 

You absolutely, 100% did the right thing, and if he tries to blame you for making him divorce you should smack him across the face, turn around, and walk away forever.

 

He doesn't sound like much of a prize to me honestly..cheats on his grieving wife..makes excuses for why he can't leave..gives you the silent treatment (my ex-fiance's favorite toy when we were fighting and also considered a form of abuse) when you finally do tell him you'll leave if he doesn't divorce..talks badly about a woman he chose to marry and procreate with..etc etc.

 

Your relationship up until now has been centered on the drama of the affair. That was not real life..this is. You're getting actual Jamie now, not fun times, sneaking around, woe is me my life is so hard Jamie. You're going to see him for who he really is. Be prepared. The odds of this mess actually working out are very slim.

 

Having an affair was very wrong. Vilifying his wife because he's doing it is also wrong. But you're on the right path now, as much as it hurts. You made some whopping mistakes but you ended up doing a good thing by forcing his hand. Don't let him convince you otherwise.

 

I am doing my best to keep holding my ground here. I know what's been going on isn't right and I know I can't keep blaming his wife for it all either.

 

I still have a lot of hope that we can be happy together after he leaves her. I still want a future with him. I just can't keep sacrificing everything in my life waiting for it anymore.

[PinkSunset]

Again......it shouldn't make a difference whether or not if he is married.

 

This relationship was built on you needing a "project". Why does a "weak" man appeal to you?

 

Of course Kevin was right. He was so right in fact....that he probably doesn't even want to even open up that can of worms again.....life is too short to spend all your time banging your head against some mad buggers wall.

 

Yes, I'll be surprised if Kevin ever answers my call or text ever again. I feel hated but I know he doesn't hate me, he loved me very much at one time. He stayed with me while he suspected I was hiding things and I can't imagine how frustrating and hurtful that must have been. I am guilty of being a ****ty person during that time

[loveisanaction]

So, just received a call from MM.

 

He went to the lawyer yesterday and they discussed a separation agreement, he said he doesn't want anything from her besides shared custody. The lawyer said there should be no reason for him not to get that, and if she starts throwing accusations she will need proof.

I asked if he drew up the separation agreement and he said no. That he wants to sit down and discuss it with his wife first without blindsiding her.

I asked how he can blindside her, if he has already told her he wanted out.

Apparently him wanting a divorce is something he says all the time when they argue but never goes through with it and never brings papers or anything. I guess this is the first time he will actually DO something.

 

He wants to see me tomorrow. Go figure. The first thing that came to mind was that tomorrow is THURSDAY! No wonder he is smoothing it over. He wants to see me and possibly get where we were going!

 

I hope ya'll are proud of me because I told him I won't see him until he has papers to show me!

 

Then it was "It's been almost two weeks, I miss you". Just like everyone said.

God, it's like clockwork. Is Jamie really the same as all of these other married men?!!!! I had almost started laughing at what he said because it was said on this forum so many times! LOL

 

I guess we will see if he comes to me with papers? I think this is the first time I have smiled in almost a week. I am trying not to get my hopes up though.He is supposed to let me know how it goes with her tonight.

 

 

How can you smile and be happy knowing his wife is about to get hit with one of the most gut wrenching news of her life?

 

She lost her child and now she's about to lose her husband.

 

Even if you and Jamie end up together, you broke up his marriage. I am sorry but there is nothing to be proud of about that.

 

Married people are and should always be off limits.

[PinkSunset]

How can you smile and be happy knowing his wife is about to get hit with one of the most gut wrenching news of her life?

 

She lost her child and now she's about to lose her husband.

 

Even if you and Jamie end up together, you broke up his marriage. I am sorry but there is nothing to be proud of about that.

 

Married people are and should always be off limits.

 

I'm sorry, am I supposed to be upset and sad about this?

 

I am happy he is finally dealing with it. I am happy we might actually be able to move forward without this huge elephant in the room.

 

I refuse to say I broke up his marriage. He could and still can stay in it.

[LadyIrish]

I am doing my best to keep holding my ground here. I know what's been going on isn't right and I know I can't keep blaming his wife for it all either.

 

I still have a lot of hope that we can be happy together after he leaves her. I still want a future with him. I just can't keep sacrificing everything in my life waiting for it anymore.

 

Your happiness lies in the fact that you have hijacked another woman's life and husband.