sparkle & fade Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Okay. I posted messages a week in the past about my b/f lying and saying that he was working but I found out he wasnt. He told me he was playing pool. NOW... Considering I am not quite ready to move on, emotional, financial, etc ties and all I have a question: Today he tells me that he is going out to play basketball with "a friend". Naturally, I ask "who" and he tells me a friend and then tells me who. This is all fine and well, but how do I deal with it? I mean, some of us gave the advice that perhaps I was a bit too jealous and this is what caused him to lie to me in the first place about where he was in the past, HOWEVER Some of us also stated that if he could lie about working, then he could lie about playing pool as well and yet even more of us stated that if he was going to play pool with a man, why would he lie? SO...My question is this: How do I in a sense "let go" without letting go, I guess??? Do I trust that he is playing basketball with a friend? Do I check up on him? I really do not want to check up on him. The idea of me following him creeps me out, I am not a stalker, and I would rather not spy on him. He said "what, do you want to come with me" Now this is a loaded question. This is how I feel: Why cant I go, and run laps while you play? This is what he will think: THis is never going to end, she is never going to trust me OR Dammit, now I cant meet such and such.... OR Damn, now she wants to come and I dont want her to come, but if I say this to her she will get suspicious. I want to trust him, but HOW? And should I? Am I wrong for wanting to tag along, or should I just leave him alone? Part of me wants to leave him alone, just let him hang himself with his own rope because they all get found out sooner or later, Part of me wants to let go because I want him to confide in me more and he never will if I dont let him go. Another part of me says no, dont let him go alone, it is just another lie to do whatever he wants to do, you need to stay on top of these things...... HELP........What would YOU do???????? Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 If you can't trust him then it's time to let him go.... Sorry... Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 just start emotionally breaking ties, and looking for a place to move.....any place for now. Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 ask him to go b/c you want to job for a little bit, see wut he says... if he gets pissed, he's hiding something, if he doesnt mind, then he's telling the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 ask him to go b/c you want to jog for a little bit, see wut he says... if he gets pissed, he's hiding something, if he doesnt mind, then he's telling the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparkle & fade Posted June 20, 2005 Author Share Posted June 20, 2005 larubiabonita, What did you mean by move? I was thinking to break emotional ties as well, because he doesnt seem like he even likes me at times anymore even though he professes his love for me.... and my point is, I dont want to have to go with him to check up on him. I want to trust him and for him to have his own space and life, but I keep getting hung up on not wanting to be played for a fooL...i feel so stuck....I want him to go out but I dont want to be the idiot that was "the last to know" if you know what I mean Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by sparkle & fade larubiabonita, What did you mean by move? I believe she means to find some place else to live. Any place that isn't with him. I was thinking to break emotional ties as well, because he doesnt seem like he even likes me at times anymore even though he professes his love for me.... Sparkle, have you looked into emotional abuse like I suggested in your other thread? Because "he loves me, but I don't think he likes me" is a common feeling for women who are abused. I found another page you should look at: http://youarenotcrazy.com/ Watch the intro video, read the information, and make sure to do the Quiz section . Please just go look. If he's not abusive, the information will show you that he's not. But if he is, it'll help you better see him for the man he is. Link to post Share on other sites
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