Littlematt Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 (edited) I've just got off the phone to my ex partner asking me if I can go around there tonight and put the children to bed. I'm doing the no contact as best as I can but I'm not sure me putting them to bed is the right? I want to so I can see my children but it always gets me down when going to her house. I'm not sure what to do? Edited May 5, 2016 by Littlematt Missing word Link to post Share on other sites
Melrapuo Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 I don't have any kids, so it's hard for me to know exactly what the best move here is. But if it's your kids, I'd just do it for them. You can keep it very short with your ex and just focus on your children. I'm sure they miss you, and having come from a family where both my parents were always working or fighting...doing something like this would mean the world to your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Littlematt Posted May 5, 2016 Author Share Posted May 5, 2016 Thanks for the reply Melrapuo I do plan and go to put the children to bed. They mean the world to me, so I appreciate any time I get to spend with them. It's not their fault we are in situation. I only speak to her about the children now, and I make sure the drop is short and sweet. Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 But if it's your kids, I'd just do it for them. You can keep it very short with your ex and just focus on your children. I'm sure they miss you. I have kids and have to say as long as doesn't turn into a habit, I would do it for the tin lids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Littlematt Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 Putting the children to bed didn't go to plan. I went around and started reading a story to my two children. Then my ex decided she needed to go to the shop and left us alone. I thought this was abit weird. I think from now on I will have to pleasantly decline the opportunity to see my children at her house. I think they are confused enough as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Putting the children to bed didn't go to plan. I went around and started reading a story to my two children. Then my ex decided she needed to go to the shop and left us alone. I thought this was abit weird. I think from now on I will have to pleasantly decline the opportunity to see my children at her house. I think they are confused enough as it is. huh? she left with your own children to nick out to the shop and this makes you not want to go over there anymore? mr. clavel has a key to my place. the place where his orphans live. he has since day one. he was free to come in and stay, as long as i wasn't home. once i arrived he knew, visit over. i've found him in my bathroom, hell, i even found him asleep on my bed. which didn't improve my feeling towards him one bit. but he always saw his kids. there is no way i would interfere with that, much as i wanted to punish him, way back. and there is no way he's taking them to "her" house. Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I'm not sure why her leaving was a problem, either. Do you feel like she was just using you as a babysitter? Did she come back so you could leave once the kids were sleeping? It does seem like it might be a nice thing for the kids to have you come around like that. When my ex and I split it was so toxic and horrible that we just could not be in each others' space like that. I moved into an apartment on the second floor of a big building and he's not allowed in the front door. If drop off/pick up happens here they walk up or down on their own. I feel really bad about it for their sake. I know it would be much nicer for them to have a more fluid arrangement where everyone is welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I'm not sure why her leaving was a problem, either. Do you feel like she was just using you as a babysitter? Did she come back so you could leave once the kids were sleeping? It does seem like it might be a nice thing for the kids to have you come around like that. When my ex and I split it was so toxic and horrible that we just could not be in each others' space like that. I moved into an apartment on the second floor of a big building and he's not allowed in the front door. If drop off/pick up happens here they walk up or down on their own. I feel really bad about it for their sake. I know it would be much nicer for them to have a more fluid arrangement where everyone is welcome. as long as they see each other, that's all that matters. and trust me when i tell you, some of the toxic **** will lessen as time goes by. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Littlematt Posted May 13, 2016 Author Share Posted May 13, 2016 huh? she left with your own children to nick out to the shop and this makes you not want to go over there anymore? mr. clavel has a key to my place. the place where his orphans live. he has since day one. he was free to come in and stay, as long as i wasn't home. once i arrived he knew, visit over. i've found him in my bathroom, hell, i even found him asleep on my bed. which didn't improve my feeling towards him one bit. but he always saw his kids. there is no way i would interfere with that, much as i wanted to punish him, way back. and there is no way he's taking them to "her" house. How does having keys to each other houses work when you have partners? Are you ok with him having a partner? And vise versa? Link to post Share on other sites
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