Latchkey Teens and Single Parents - Need Advice on Going Back to Work F.T.

[SingleMom5]

I have a 13 year old son and have been working part-time around his school schedule and during summer. My part-time job is the pits and doesn't pay squat - I've finally landed an excellent full-time job that pays really well.

 

Problem is I start my new job right after the 4th of July. There's a month left of summer and I am worried about leaving my son alone while I work from 8 to 5.

 

He's on a schedule where he stays up late and sleeps until about 1:30 or 2 during the day which is ok - I would be home at 5:30 and he's expressed the desire to be left alone - that he can handle it and for me not to worry. He said "Mom you need this job and we need the money - go work and I will be responsible and take care of myself".

 

I worry about him being bored or lonely - he will have strict rules to follow (no kids allowed inside, no internet access, etc.). I think he can handle it for one month - then school will start and he'll be in school. Another problem is me having to be at work at 8 and he doesn't have to be in school until 8:30.

 

I really need this job and the medical/dental benefits, etc. I am a widowed single mother with no family support (my parents both died). I feel guilty leaving him alone but he's been reliable and trustworthy in the past when I've left him alone for brief periods of time - I'm just worried........I hate the fact he'd be a latchkey kid.

 

Any advice? (He's too old for daycare and I don't know of any babysitter who can work the hours needed). Anyone else a single working parent with a teen at home during the summer?

[Teag]

I think at 13 he's old enough to be left alone. I was babysitting my 2 younger cousins when I as 13 years old during the summer. As long as he hasn't given you reason not to trust him, just call a few times during the day to make sure he's ok & is obeying your rules. Just a question about the internet, why not let him get on the internet w/ all the parental controls they have now you can pretty much choose what he can & can't look at. And most teenagers stay on the phone talking to their friends or online talking to their friends. Just set some ground rules for him to follow & maybe have some of your neighbors keep an eye out on the house to make sure everything is ok.

[tiki]

I don't, but have been a latchkey kid myself. In my state, it's illegal until the child is 12.

 

Of course, you want to take into consideration the maturity of the kid. I'd set my rules and make them CLEAR (telephone/door/visitors/etc). Make punishment clear too. I'd even give him some chores to do.

 

The internet thing caught my eye too. Unless you've got no parental controls, I'd think that the internet would keep him busy. I'd rather see a kid any day on a computer than out tagging a building and getting high.

 

Don't feel bad! You're making decisions that are part of the natural growing process. I applaud your concern. I see too many people leaving kids at home with not a care in mind.

 

The only other thing I can think of, is gun safety. Remove all the guns from the home.

 

Oh, and have him call in to check-in OFTEN.

[JPMorgan]

Is there a neighbor who can look in on him? Call your area fire department and see if they have or can recommend any fire extinguisher courses -- the reason I say this is because it made a big impact on me when I was around 12 or 13 and was alone. The fact that it was very serious, I was being taught by adults---professionals---really made me realize the seriousness and the responsibility of looking out for myself. Of course we never had a fire -- but I was sure prepared! Maybe the school has some ideas and information for 'latchkey' kids. Or look on the Internet!

 

When school starts are there any clubs or study hall or something that opens that early? Maybe he can participate in something early at school so that you both can leave the house at the same time.

 

Congrats on the new job!

[westernxer]

I used to love hanging out at my latch-key friend's house. No adults, no rules, and sometimes no school. Seriously though, it would help to get him involved in extra-curricular activities. We did that with my friend, and it made a huge difference in keeping him out of trouble, plus his mom was ever-grateful.

 

Even if it costs you a little money to keep him busy, it's totally worth it. Encourage him to do sports and stuff, things that will tire him out and instill some discipline, something that will challenge him mentally.

[New_Wife]

I second the neighbor suggestion - just make sure that the neighbor has all of your contact numbers, or even two or three neighbors and ask that they alert you to anything odd. You offer to return the favor - and voila - a lookout group!

 

Also, if there is a YMCA in your area, I've had a lot of luck finding programs that the kids actually enjoy there - for all ages. Most YMCA's will scholarship, or partial scholarship a child from a one-parent home.

 

Good luck!

[SingleMom5]

THANKS for all your replies - I appreciate all of your input and I feel better. I will take all the precautions all of you recommended and I will allow him to use the internet but I'm going to have to find some parental control software to install.

 

THANKS EVERYONE!!!

 

(More advice is welcome - I'll keep checking back for new posts).

[cyberbabie30]

Hi,

 

Im also a single mother. How ever i do have family but they dont help me.

I have a daugter who is 13 and a son who is 16.

 

What i have been doing with my kids in the summer and after school is sending them to the boys and girls club. They are with kids their own age and the boys and girls club offers a lot of activities.

 

My boys and girls club offers after school care and summer camp care for working parents.

They also have a sliding fee scale

 

My suggestion would be to check in your town and see if there is a boys and girls club or ymca, near you and see if they offer what mine does.

 

It was the best thing i could of done. I got ease of mind and my kids got to do all sorts of fun things.