Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Ok. I texted her. I was honest. Just said exactly what I thought. "Don't apologize. I just want to get to know you away from the work environment. I am sorry if I overstepped my bounds but you're awesome and I wanted to have a few drinks and watch a game with you. You're still a big deal". The "big deal" part is an inside joke between us. She responded with 3 blushy face emojis and "awwww...thank you so much" That's absolutely a perfect thing to say. and whoever pointed out above that she could have freaked out bc you were being weird at work could have a point too. The way she responded, it doesn't sound like she is out. Sounds like she is still in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 The bolded above is where you are wrong........or looking for the wrong woman, I make my own, so men who make big $$$ don't really impress me. Your last post, after reading your thread, is a good one. Honestly, you seem to have a really good personality. Me, personally, I don't do work relationships...she may have been hesitant due to that. It does get weird at the office when that happens and why I am against them personally myself.....learned a valuable lesson in that over 20 years ago. The breakup is just horrendous...as well as the rumors. Some people don't like the drama, no matter what their heart feels. Not trying to be off-putting on this as I read the thread and it's really sweet....why not try to talk to her about this and get on the same page. Maybe she feels (understand this "feels") that it would be over-stepping a work/relationship boundary?? I think most of us women would be lying if we say the money doesn't mean anything. Although to some (like you) I believe you. I think a lot of guys though take it to mean that it means a lot more than it does. Like rich guys believe they don't have to have any other attributes. Or guys that will use a stat like that to have a chip on their shoulder about it. Basically, everything looks better when the package is good. Meaning the more well-rounded the person's attributes are, the more attractive they are likely to be to the general public. Like I have passed on people with a lot of money because I wasn't attracted to the rest of the package. And I have liked people without too much money because I liked the rest of the package ;-) I agree with you on the bolded oh, and i don't think we've seen the end of green eyes. Mark my words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Still in? I don't know...maybe. I guess we'll see tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Ok Versace...after all our interactions on here...you say humor is important. I agree with you on this and I'm curious... What do you find funny? Name some comedies or comedians you like...I'm curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Ok Versace...after all our interactions on here...you say humor is important. I agree with you on this and I'm curious... What do you find funny? Name some comedies or comedians you like...I'm curious. oh tough one. I do like a lot comedy of comedians that I would never want to date. And I live in LA, which you prob didn't know, so the reality of a lot of comedians is that they are pretty unhappy people on the whole. Pretty f*cked up. I can't even think right now. Give me a list of yours and I will star the ones I like. And it will help me come up with some others I have a feeling that you might like some of the darker ones, lol. Some of those I don't even like their comedy, like Dane Cook. But he used to be cute. Not funny to me though. I actually saw him do a show recently. His comedy that night was dark but finally funny. He's not cute anymore though. And he still seems like he a messed up person. Like he's probably a nightmare bf LOL. Almost all the actual comedians are. I think Chris Rock is pretty funny. And I don't think he's that good looking but his humor would probably make him so. I don't know any stories about him being a nightmare. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Still in? I don't know...maybe. I guess we'll see tomorrow. She might not be ON all the way tomorrow but trust me, it's not over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Stop getting my hopes up Versace... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Ok heres what makes me laugh hysterically.... Movies: Anything with Will Ferrell TV: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Standup: George Carlin and Bill Burr Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Ok heres what makes me laugh hysterically.... Movies: Anything with Will Ferrell (have met and is cute; he is only funny sometimes to me; he is bf material though, lol) TV: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (unfortunately I know but have never seen the show-the lead guy looks cute. Is he the funny one? If so, automatic bf material Standup: George Carlin and Bill Burr (george not funny or cute to me, no surprise there. Bill burr is very funny) see answers above in bold. Oh gosh, I really should be able to make a list Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 (edited) It's Always Sunny is how I judge people on whether or not we're going to get along lol...and there is no lead character really. They're all funny. But you might mean Charlie Day. He's in the Horrible Bosses movies...which I love as well. And if I had the guts to be a standup... I would sound very VERY similar to Bill Burr Edited May 12, 2016 by Porter56 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 And please elaborate on why you think it's not over with Green Eyes.... I can't sleep now... Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 It's Always Sunny is how I judge people on whether or not we're going to get along lol... And if I had the guts to be a standup... I would sound very VERY similar to Bill Burr Oh I will have to see the show then. I'm only like 5 seasons late, right? See I told you that you were funny. The texting (the two you showed us) you do with green eyes has a good amount of being open/honest and then playful/funny. I tend to think that's a great combo. I bet she does too. Time will tell Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 No, more like 12 seasons behind lol... Well, I was ready to forget her. Now I'm back to thinking about her again. Thanks a lot lol Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 And please elaborate on why you think it's not over with Green Eyes.... I can't sleep now... Sorry, I know you have a big promotion meeting tomorrow so I will be brief. I don't think she would have responded: awwww and the blushy faces if she was DONE. That's keeping the flirtation going, which she would have not kept going on if she has reconsidered in total and decided NO. She either is in momentary hesitation, or something truly came up or maybe she is involved with someone. If it was a momentary hesitation, here's what i've learned about people. That's a craving of something she wants but for the moment she was strong enough to resist. But people are weak, that's why it's not over. If something truly came up, or she panicked, she will circle back around. If she is involved with someone, it may be over soon if she has been so bold with you (giving you the number/saying yes to the date--and yes it appears she did know it was a date). You have never painted her as a dishonest person who would cheat if she did have a bf--so maybe she is not at a clean break place just yet. This would be the hardest one to overcome I think. I think the most likely scenario is that she is worried about a work romance. I think if your company has no policy against it and the attraction is strong enough (it sounds like it is) and she is single, that will only hold up so long. That's why my rec is to keep the work friendship strong and try to do out of work things if you can. Or talk about out of work things if you can't get her to go out yet. You want to make her feel safe enough where she is less worried that this is going to be a fleeting thing where it will be awkward at the office. It may take some time. If she has a connection with you that supercedes (sp?) work, which the scales will tip that way at a certain point, if you build on everything, pretty soon she won't care anymore about her hesitations about having a work romance. She can't be that tied to her belief if she gave you her cell number as she did with that statement and said yes to baseball game sports bar date. I'm guessing you work in an environment where those after hours/happy hour things are normal enough. If you can keep up your end and she is single, I give it a two month guess. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less. Keep up your end and you can turn green eyes by then lol. Be confident and get promoted. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 How much do you charge per hour? I love talking to you way more than my therapist. She's definitely not with anyone. I know that for sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 How much do you charge per hour? I love talking to you way more than my therapist. She's definitely not with anyone. I know that for sure. Good. That would have been the hardest one to solve. LOL, see? funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Soooo.... You're saying I should walk in tomorrow and kiss her in front of everybody????? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 So I think I figured out the issue... I found out today via email who's going to be on the panel that is interviewing me tomorrow. Guess who is on the panel ??? So she is going to be interviewing me tomorrow. I haven't spoken to her today because she's busy with interviews but she has passed through a few times and I saw her... Ok I can already hear the chorus of people telling me to quit being so insecure but this is on my mind and I have to get it out... So one of the guys conducting the interviews is pretty high up the ladder. He's young, good looking and obviously built like a rock (think of one of the Hemsworth boys). I have met him and admittedly he is a great guy. He's funny and likable and charismatic and everyone LOVES him. He's single and I know because the women gossip about him all the time lol. Anyway he and Green Eyes have been attached at the hip all day and I'm creepy, so I watch them together.... She smiles and laughs and looks at him in a way that even I can pick up on. I've never seen her laugh or smile like that. She's flirting big time with him. It's driving me nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 So I think I figured out the issue... I found out today via email who's going to be on the panel that is interviewing me tomorrow. Guess who is on the panel ??? So she is going to be interviewing me tomorrow. I haven't spoken to her today because she's busy with interviews but she has passed through a few times and I saw her... Ok I can already hear the chorus of people telling me to quit being so insecure but this is on my mind and I have to get it out... So one of the guys conducting the interviews is pretty high up the ladder. He's young, good looking and obviously built like a rock (think of one of the Hemsworth boys). I have met him and admittedly he is a great guy. He's funny and likable and charismatic and everyone LOVES him. He's single and I know because the women gossip about him all the time lol. Anyway he and Green Eyes have been attached at the hip all day and I'm creepy, so I watch them together.... She smiles and laughs and looks at him in a way that even I can pick up on. I've never seen her laugh or smile like that. She's flirting big time with him. It's driving me nuts. Ok, first order of business get the promotion. That is probably why she said she couldn't go out. It would be a direct conflict of interest and you hadn't been notified yet/or it was around the same time that you were notified of having the opportunity to interview. So she had to take a step back for the time being. I know when you don't have something locked down with the one you want to be with, seeing them with or actually flirting with a person you think could easily get them is difficult and infuriating. Most of/the majority of the time it is nothing--other than a chance to express themselves as also an eligible person. Like an ego boost. Doesn't mean she doesn't think he is good-looking but it also doesn't mean they will get together. They are working on a project together, ie the interviews. One of my guy bosses and I are very close. A few girls have had crushes over the years and think they are jealous of me because we hang out. We are 100% friends. That's it. i flirt the tiniest bit and vice versa because it's an expression of who I am/he is not that I have an interest in him or vice versa. He is happily with someone. We just have common interests and get along. Idk, it's just the way we banter/communicate. Lots of people do this and don't limit it to just the cutest guy in the office (that's just the one you find threatening and see her light up around--that's an ego boost for the moment). Try to put it to the side and get the promotion. Getting jealous won't help ANYTHING. You can reassess after they are done working on this panel. But again getting jealous won't help anything. After you get promoted, get back on your game with her and do it to the best to play your game the best. Don't let the other guy win by default or because you assume he's won. A friend of mine was close friends with all the guys in her office, normal with her business and so was major socializing. For a few years she had a flirtation with the best looking super player one. As an outsider who has gone out with the group several times, I could tell he was not serious about it, he just liked the attention. Being the most desirable guy is part of his persona. For her, it was like half-real, half-joking. In the meantime, one of the other guys was her closest friends (and he was close to mr perfect too). One night the thing with her guy friend turned and they started dating. At the beginning, it was a little rocky for a couple of reasons among which all of sudden mr perfect started pursuing her (the relationship with the guy friend was a secret bc of work and giving them some time to really figure it out). I'm actually SURE that mr perfect knew or suspected and just wanted to be competitive and had no long term interest in my friend whereas her guy friend did. After a week of confusion and she almost really f*cked up, I talked her off the ledge of making a big mistake--guess who she just married. The guy friend. Deep down she knew I was right and that I was just confirming what she already knew: it was just flirtation and minor or insignificant at that. And she made the right choice. And green eyes already sounds more stable than my friend and like she makes good choices, just saying. don't worry about it. play your game. Offensive not defense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porter56 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 I don't know... Rereading my posts today, I don't like what I read. I don't like the person I am or how Green Eyes makes me feel. This is exhausting. I am focused on preparing for tomorrow. I am also looking for other jobs as well as I am just getting antsy in my current job. I have a borderline obsession with this woman and that's not ok. I want to focus on myself and try to get my head right. In my current state I wouldn't be good for anyone in a relationship or on a date or whatever the f*** comes up with the people in my life. I'm tired.... Link to post Share on other sites
sc0316 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I don't know... Rereading my posts today, I don't like what I read. I don't like the person I am or how Green Eyes makes me feel. This is exhausting. I am focused on preparing for tomorrow. I am also looking for other jobs as well as I am just getting antsy in my current job. I have a borderline obsession with this woman and that's not ok. I want to focus on myself and try to get my head right. In my current state I wouldn't be good for anyone in a relationship or on a date or whatever the f*** comes up with the people in my life. I'm tired.... What is your relationship history? If you don't have much experience with dating/relationship, you might want to consider just dating someone casually; this won't give you as much stress/pressure and yet can give you some romantic experience with a woman. Sometimes we can't fix things in a vacuum! Also, as a woman, I think your Green Eyes is giving you very clear signals. I mean, she took the initiative to give you her number, first agreed to meet up for dinner/drinks, her reply to your last text was flirty Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 (edited) In my current state I wouldn't be good for anyone in a relationship or on a date or whatever the f*** comes up with the people in my life. I'm tired.... First time chiming in... but I have read this entire thread, and re what you wrote above, I would have to agree with you on that. I mean the fact you were literally freaking out over having made a simple date indicates you are in no way ready for a RL or even to casually date! I mean it was one date.... with a woman you have been crushing on for LONG TIME. But hey I hear ya... I, too, am not emotionally prepared to date either! Nor do I want to. We all have our reasons... mine is cuz I just ended a long-term RL five months ago and still working through that. Unlike you though, I would not have made the date in the first place... since I know I am not ready... nor have any desire to. I basically just want to be left alone.... for now. So there is nothing wrong with that, just be careful not to mis-lead anyone by actually asking them on a date, then freaking out, wanting to cancel, and feeling relieved they cancelled first. That's unfair. Good luck with your interview, fingers crossed you get the promotion! And I hope eventually you figure all this out, why you have such a fear of dating/relationships. I mean you were probably joking, but feeling like you want to kill yourself? All because you made a date? That's some pretty major freaking out! Best of luck!! Edited May 12, 2016 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
sc0316 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 But isn't there this theory saying that the way to overcome the fear at certain situations is to keep facing the situation? Perhaps it's too much to have a date with someone whom you've been having a crush for such a long time. How about meeting someone online? Link to post Share on other sites
Jacques on stage Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Oh I will have to see the show then. I'm only like 5 seasons late, right? See I told you that you were funny. The texting (the two you showed us) you do with green eyes has a good amount of being open/honest and then playful/funny. I tend to think that's a great combo. I bet she does too. Time will tell Western civilisation. Leonardo, Shakespeare, Mozart, The Beatles. RIP. It's done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 But isn't there this theory saying that the way to overcome the fear at certain situations is to keep facing the situation? Perhaps it's too much to have a date with someone whom you've been having a crush for such a long time. How about meeting someone online? Okay but what happens if he starts really liking her too? Is he gonna bail on every woman once he develops feelings for her? That isn't right and completely unfair to the poor unsuspecting woman who believes he likes her and wants to develop a RL with her. IMO he should stay single and figure out why he has this fear in the first place. Once he resolves that, then he can start dating... sans freak outs! Link to post Share on other sites
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