Poof! went back to his wife **Updated**

[bewell]

What is it with married men being jealous of the other woman and how she lives her life?

 

They goes home to their wife every night, do things married people do but expect the ow to sit at home all alone, waiting for them until they are ready to see her again.

 

Entitlement galore....pfffff

 

I know, stupid, right? Ugh! In his case he was living separately from his W for over a year and for 6 months the previous year. She was out living her life, meeting new people, possibly even dated, and traveled. They're both messed up and he's messing/messed me up.

[13Hearts]

Grandpa and his family sound very dysfunctional. I hope that when he shows back up, you stay as far away from him as possible.

[Miss Clavel]

I wish he would have told me but he didn't. He did it silently behind my back hoping that I don't find out

 

silence is golden.

[bewell]

Grandpa and his family sound very dysfunctional. I hope that when he shows back up, you stay as far away from him as possible.

 

When? I'm hoping he doesn't!

[bewell]

I don't know how it happened but I am over xMM. I spent maybe a week and a half lamenting and grieving and this over the weekend I realized I no longer feel the sting. Accepting my situation for what it is fro breakup to him being back with W essentially gave me peace. This forum helped me tremendously get to where I am.

[stilltrying16]

How wonderful is that! I am so happy for you. It isn't easy to beat any addiction (I've a very addictive personality, and I know)! So when anyone does it or even gets close I feel hope. Thank you for coming here and posting. People who are suffering need to know things can change. Best wishes to you!

[bewell]

I don't know how it happened but I am over xMM. I spent maybe a week and a half lamenting and grieving and this over the weekend I realized I no longer feel the sting. Accepting my situation for what it is fro breakup to him being back with W essentially gave me peace. This forum helped me tremendously get to where I am.

 

 

 

Oops, pardon my typos above. I was typing using my mobile.

[bewell]

How wonderful is that! I am so happy for you. It isn't easy to beat any addiction (I've a very addictive personality, and I know)! So when anyone does it or even gets close I feel hope. Thank you for coming here and posting. People who are suffering need to know things can change. Best wishes to you!

 

I wasn't going to allow myself to be overcome with emotions chronically. I think I just needed a few days to a week to feel everything, let it all out, and move to a higher vibration where it's better for me.

[elaine567]

I think like any break up, if you can see a good reason for breaking up, and here you have a good reason, then that can take some of the sting out of it.

"It didn't work, it was never going to work" is easier to deal with than,

"It was so lovely, why did he have to end it? We were so good together."

 

I am sure him going back to his wife without telling you, pretty much killed it for you.

Onward and upward.

[bewell]

I think like any break up, if you can see a good reason for breaking up, and here you have a good reason, then that can take some of the sting out of it.

"It didn't work, it was never going to work" is easier to deal with than,

"It was so lovely, why did he have to end it? We were so good together."

 

I am sure him going back to his wife without telling you, pretty much killed it for you.

Onward and upward.

 

Spot on. I really can't find any residual feelings for him anymore whereas in the past I'd make excuses.

 

I feel amazing and empowered! I have a lot of fun adventures lined up in the coming weeks and months that will fill up my time and bring back LIFE.

[Forceawakensme]

Spot on. I really can't find any residual feelings for him anymore whereas in the past I'd make excuses.

 

I feel amazing and empowered! I have a lot of fun adventures lined up in the coming weeks and months that will fill up my time and bring back LIFE.

 

 

Good for you. Your future self is going to be so grateful you bounced back so fast and didn't waste one more minute on this toxic man and this toxic drama.

 

A fabulous life awaits you!

[TaraMaiden2]

This will annoy him enormously, particularly if he is deceitful in his actions.... he will come back to you covertly, just as he crept back to his wife, unbeknownst to you..... and possibly expect you to be there with open arms.

 

What a delightful shock and metaphorical slap-in-the-face it will be for him, when he finds an empty space where you once were....

[bewell]

This will annoy him enormously, particularly if he is deceitful in his actions.... he will come back to you covertly, just as he crept back to his wife, unbeknownst to you..... and possibly expect you to be there with open arms.

 

This is exactly how he is.

 

What a delightful shock and metaphorical slap-in-the-face it will be for him, when he finds an empty space where you once were....

 

The door is shut eternally

[bewell]

Every time he speaks with our mutual friend he would ask if our friend has heard from me. This mutual friend will NEVER expose me and say outright that we are in contact with one another. I know, I can just hear you guys say "you don't know that!" actually, I do. I know this friend very well and he will not allow MM to know anything about me. All he says to MM is "I haven't heard from her at all". MM wonders why. Him asking our friend about me makes me feel annoyed and uncomfortable. I wonder if it will ever stop? He should be focusing on his wife now and not desiring to know anything about me.

[Survivor12]

Every time he speaks with our mutual friend he would ask if our friend has heard from me. This mutual friend will NEVER expose me and say outright that we are in contact with one another. I know, I can just hear you guys say "you don't know that!" actually, I do. I know this friend very well and he will not allow MM to know anything about me. All he says to MM is "I haven't heard from her at all". MM wonders why. Him asking our friend about me makes me feel annoyed and uncomfortable. I wonder if it will ever stop? He should be focusing on his wife now and not desiring to know anything about me.

 

And it would be best for you to tell your friend that you're over it & no longer care to hear about him.

[ChickiePops]

You should ask your friend to stop telling you these things..it's not good for you..

[whichwayisup]

Every time he speaks with our mutual friend he would ask if our friend has heard from me. This mutual friend will NEVER expose me and say outright that we are in contact with one another. I know, I can just hear you guys say "you don't know that!" actually, I do. I know this friend very well and he will not allow MM to know anything about me. All he says to MM is "I haven't heard from her at all". MM wonders why. Him asking our friend about me makes me feel annoyed and uncomfortable. I wonder if it will ever stop? He should be focusing on his wife now and not desiring to know anything about me.

 

I think you need to tell your mutual friend that you don't want to know or hear anything about exMM and that includes if exMM asks about you. All that does is piss you off and allows exMM to be back in your head a bit.

 

I wouldn't 100 percent trust this mutual friend either, think about it, he knows the A is over and you want nothing to do with exMM so why is he mentioning stuff about exMM to you?

[bewell]

And it would be best for you to tell your friend that you're over it & no longer care to hear about him.

 

 

My friend knows I am over him and the r/s. It's MM that's persistent in trying to use our mutual friend (who won't expose me) as a bridge for information about me. My friend and I also don't discuss MM when we talk. Although he casually mentions when MM would ask about me.

[bewell]

I think you need to tell your mutual friend that you don't want to know or hear anything about exMM and that includes if exMM asks about you. All that does is piss you off and allows exMM to be back in your head a bit.

 

I wouldn't 100 percent trust this mutual friend either, think about it, he knows the A is over and you want nothing to do with exMM so why is he mentioning stuff about exMM to you?

 

I'm not sure why he mentions it. It's one of those casual mentions that last for 3 seconds and it's over with. This last and most recent inquiry of exMM to my friend about me, exMM is wondering why I am SILENT and have not "contacted" our mutual friend (even though in reality we are). Is exMM an idiot or what? There's a reason for my silence and absence! Figure that one out.

[Survivor12]

You aren't over him or you wouldn't be concerning yourself about him mentioning you enough to be relating it here. Being over someone results in indifference. You, however, are finding satisfaction by knowing that he is talking/thinking about you.

 

Telling your friend that you don't want to hear anything about him is part of being NC--the purpose of which is to help you get over him. Blaming him for talking instead of taking responsibility for listening to what he says (even second hand) is a means to maintain a form of contact, not end it.

[whichwayisup]

My friend knows I am over him and the r/s. It's MM that's persistent in trying to use our mutual friend (who won't expose me) as a bridge for information about me. My friend and I also don't discuss MM when we talk. Although he casually mentions when MM would ask about me.

 

Tell him to STOP bringing up exMM (please refer to him as exMM and not MM), that you never want to hear his name ever again. If this friend is a true friend, they will do as you ask and never bring it up or mention exMM ever again.