Agust002 Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 Hello. So it's already been 8 months since my ex and i broke up and i just recently found out he has a new girlfriend and that they have been dating since a month after we broke up. This whole time i thpught he was working on himself but instead he has been with someone else. I am hurt that he lied to me and i need some advice on how to forget him. I have chosen to leave him the past but am having trouble getting him out of my head. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frogwife Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 Hello. So it's already been 8 months since my ex and i broke up and i just recently found out he has a new girlfriend and that they have been dating since a month after we broke up. This whole time i thpught he was working on himself but instead he has been with someone else. I am hurt that he lied to me and i need some advice on how to forget him. I have chosen to leave him the past but am having trouble getting him out of my head. Hi August... there is no way to "forget about someone" and "feel happy" - if there were, well, I would bottle that and sell it... I was left by my boyfriend almost two years ago and I feel sad - not as sad as the months and even year that followed, but there is still a scar...You may hear advice about "the five stages of grief" or "no contact" and "get hobbies" or even "date other people" but there is no cure or guidebook for missing someone, forgetting about them or "letting go and moving on"... I found this article really helpful - especially in reference to the "time heals all wounds" platitude... Does Time Heal All Wounds? - Article by David Fireman, LCSW (I'm not sure if links are allowed, but just google Does Time Heal All Wounds" by David Fireman LCSW). He talks about chronos time - counting minutes, days, weeks - versus kairos time - or "mindfulness" ... Often times we feel pushed and pressured to move on by friends or family and that makes us feel even worse, like we are weak or something is wrong with us. I found that having a good number of people to talk to who won't judge you and finding a good therapist was very helpful. If you can't afford a therapist, many large universities have training programs where you can free or reduced rates and many therapists themselves may offer a sliding scale. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 Breaking up is hard, no matter what the details may be. A period of grieving is natural and healthy. Don't resist it. Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 You should write his name down on toilet paper and flush it! lol. Kinda fits this situation perfectly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
deadparrot Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 If you haven't already, delete him from all social media and block his number. If you have mutual friends, ask them not to mention or discuss him when you're together. When I was going through a really emotional breakup, "out of sight, out of mind" was enormously important to my healing process. It's okay to feel sad and to wallow in misery every now and then. Talk to a therapist if you have to. That said, also stay busy--exercise, go out with friends, try out a new hobby. When you're distracted with things to do, and don't have to worry about his name or face popping up in your everyday life, you'll wake up one day and realize you've made tremendous progress. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bewell Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 Hello. So it's already been 8 months since my ex and i broke up and i just recently found out he has a new girlfriend and that they have been dating since a month after we broke up. This whole time i thpught he was working on himself but instead he has been with someone else. I am hurt that he lied to me and i need some advice on how to forget him. I have chosen to leave him the past but am having trouble getting him out of my head. Grieve, feel your emotions, and let it run through you. It's a process. You will eventually get to a point where you will feel better. I promise. Turn inwards and put all of your energy into YOU. Spend a lot of time being good to yourself, hang out with friends and family, and do things you've always wanted to do but couldn't. I know it's easy for me to say that you'll be okay and it's hard for you to see this right now because you are feeling raw. However, in time you will recover and look back and feel nothing towards your ex. I would also delete, block, and unfollow him on social media and other means of contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
greenly24 Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 I'm sorry about your breakup and that that wound has been made worse by you finding out about his other relationship. Honestly I think it's just going to take some time. As humans, we are emotional and for better or worse we cannot just switch our emotions on and off. It seems like you don't see your boyfriend too often since you just recently learned of his other relationship, so that's good. I wish I had more advice, but I do think that in time you will feel better. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
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