klandes Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 On thursday i broke up with my BF of almost a year and now i'm miserable. We're both 23 and until then commited to love each other tremendously. We would do everything together, eat, sleep, shop, we almost acted like a married couple. But since he went back home to work for the summer and i stayed in the city, we fought constantly, although i would go every weekend to see him, the thought of enjoying a night out was not possible anymore, the jealousy, the dependancy, it was too much. He noticed i was different and had a serious talk about it, i didn't really pay much attention, but now that i'm losing him i see what he meant, and i blame myself for such attitude and mistreatment. The last couple of weeks i was cold-hearted bitch, mean, annoying.. i kept bringing up all the little errors in him, as if i wanted him to have the balls and end things. He would do everything for me, he would treat me like a queen, i took him for granted. I do wanna tell what drove me crazy and made me say such things, i went out with my friend for a couple of beers, and he went ballistic and kept me on the phone the whole time i was there, i felt so rude towards my friend. The whole bar felt and knew i had a jealous boyfriend on the other end. The day after, (thursday) i realized the way i've been with him and how unfair i was. So i decided we needed to talk things through and work at it, so i took a train for 3 hrs all the way to his hometown and i find out he's with his friends, on his way to this club surrounded by 18yr old chicks looking for summer flings. It just didn't seem fair, i met him at this club and got so mad and told him off, and my desire to end things, meanwhile he's asking for space, and i tell him space goes hand in hand with fckn other people. and i rather not hurt things more. I've been calling him since then, he's resentful, and ignoring the calls, but he has been returning my txt messages, i told him i didn't mean a thing and that i love him and want to work things out. with no answers so far. I haven't slept nor eaten since then, and hate and blame myself for it. I got wasted last night and called him at such an odd hour 6am! he txt me back saying that he loves me too, and also told me to act like i love him, and that "he just wanted to let things cool off" well what does that mean really?? does he want more time?? I don't know what to do, if i should email him and say how sorry i am, or just wait and try no contact until he makes his move. I don't know what he wants me to do, i feel like i'm pushing it, and that he doesn't care anymore, but on the other side it's like he wants me to go after him and beg him as well... it's so confusing, which one is it?!! Link to post Share on other sites
too_risky Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 I'm sorta in a similar situation. I took my ex totally for granted and he finally left me. It's been 2 months now. I did what you are doing, the crying, begging, pleading, etc etc etc. He's long distance from me so I flew to see him and he spent 3 hours with me and then left me sitting overnight at an airport by myself. All of your beggin, pleading etc is only going to push him farther away. Trust me. Respect him enough to give him space. Also, keep your self respect too. If you dont respect you, how will he? You are not rational right now. Take this time to "cool off" as he says. If you're afraid he will hook up with someone else then he didn't really love you did he? Mine got with someone else in 13 days and we had been together for 3 years. If you read the book "He's just not that into you"....it will give you a whole new perspective on this. You don't want to be the needy, clingy begging ex girfriend that can't "live without him" do you? You want to be strong, self assured, self respected, have dignity and keep that. Trust me. If he wants you back, he will contact you. DO NOT contact him at all. Nothing. No email, text, anything. People told me that over and over again and I wouldnt listen. I just kept right on contacting until I drove him crazy. Learn from my mistakes. Giving yourself time to cool off will help you most in the long run. It gives you time to think things through. It keeps you sane. Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 You broke up with him. That's the end of the story. You shouldn't break up with people if you aren't sure that's how you want the rest of your life to be= without him. Link to post Share on other sites
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 well i did the same thing once well i begged and apoligized for the shyte i said and i was asking him to come back to me but he didnt want to he was really mad but then later i left it alobe and he said he should have listened to me and he should have come back to me and he regret leeving me but we didnt get back because he had a girlfriend and he was starting to like her.. well i think you should avoind any contact he said he wanted space and wanted things to cool off so give him that space he is asking for and wait and see what happens... Link to post Share on other sites
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