markmark Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 My ex of 1.5 years broke up with me 2 months ago. She felt as if something was missing in the relationship (me not really showing her how much I love her). I first cried to her which pushed her away...But after explaining my reasoning, she finally said she understands my view and why I acted certain ways with her, but then continued with her decision because of a gut feeling. She felt as if she needed to follow her initial gut feeling. Despite this, she was always willing to talk afterward, but we would always come to the same conclusion that she is not ready to be in a relationship, and that she needs time to herself (one time she hinted that maybe in the future we could try but never said it again). After NC for 2 weeks, I finally reached out to her and we re-added each other on social media (I deleted her initially). When we messaged, she was super friendly and responded to all of my texts but never initiated herself. I would text her every few days and she would respond. We finally met up a week ago for lunch and things went great. We caught up on each others lives and she texted me that it was really great seeing me and that she is happy i'm doing well (she always says how she's so happy I am doing well--very confusing). After a few days after having lunch together, I asked if she would be interested in grabbing dinner the week after. She responded first asking what day I had in mind, then responded saying that she has time but is worried that it might be inappropriate or confusing for her. I told her I totally understand and to let me know if she wants to anyway...she thanked me for understanding. I don't know whether I should continue to pursue her or just move on. I really love her and dont know what to do now. We had a really great time together at lunch and she let me pay for her (possibly a sign that it was a date). It seemed as she wanted to linger around a little longer after lunch to continue talking. We ran into each other a couple of days later and she would not stop asking questions about how I am. When we parted ways she gave me a huge hug. I'm really not sure what she is thinking. She seems to be giving me signs of interest but never initiates anything herself. Any time I text she responds right away. A huge part of the break up was her roommate inserting herself in the relationship (she didn't like us together and at times seemed to want to push us apart). I don't know what to do at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
deadparrot Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Move on. She's told you she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and hasn't ever wavered from that since the breakup. She might be responding to your texts to be polite, and because she genuinely likes you as a person, not aware that it's actually confusing you, but the fact that she's not initiating any contact speaks volumes. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I don't think there's any real sign of interest here, on her end. She responds to you but she hasn't initiated anything or asked to see you. That is critical. Also, I think she probably feels guilty for hurting you and is concerned about how you're getting along now. That would explain the questions about how you are doing and the hug. She cares about you, but I don't get the sense she is interested in rekindling anything at this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Move on. Being needy at this time gets you nothing. Stop the texting calling. It's part of growing up. Things like this happen in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 My ex of 1.5 years broke up with me 2 months ago. She felt as if something was missing in the relationship (me not really showing her how much I love her). I first cried to her which pushed her away...But after explaining my reasoning, she finally said she understands my view and why I acted certain ways with her, but then continued with her decision because of a gut feeling. She felt as if she needed to follow her initial gut feeling. Despite this, she was always willing to talk afterward, but we would always come to the same conclusion that she is not ready to be in a relationship, and that she needs time to herself (one time she hinted that maybe in the future we could try but never said it again). After NC for 2 weeks, I finally reached out to her and we re-added each other on social media (I deleted her initially). When we messaged, she was super friendly and responded to all of my texts but never initiated herself. I would text her every few days and she would respond. We finally met up a week ago for lunch and things went great. We caught up on each others lives and she texted me that it was really great seeing me and that she is happy i'm doing well (she always says how she's so happy I am doing well--very confusing). After a few days after having lunch together, I asked if she would be interested in grabbing dinner the week after. She responded first asking what day I had in mind, then responded saying that she has time but is worried that it might be inappropriate or confusing for her. I told her I totally understand and to let me know if she wants to anyway...she thanked me for understanding. I don't know whether I should continue to pursue her or just move on. I really love her and dont know what to do now. We had a really great time together at lunch and she let me pay for her (possibly a sign that it was a date). It seemed as she wanted to linger around a little longer after lunch to continue talking. We ran into each other a couple of days later and she would not stop asking questions about how I am. When we parted ways she gave me a huge hug. I'm really not sure what she is thinking. She seems to be giving me signs of interest but never initiates anything herself. Any time I text she responds right away. A huge part of the break up was her roommate inserting herself in the relationship (she didn't like us together and at times seemed to want to push us apart). I don't know what to do at this point. leave her alone and she'll come home.... p.s if someone asks for time or space, you need to respect that. limit the texts, slow them down, maybe let her come to you. i know, it's hard. but i want the one i want to want me, if you catch my drift. or ask her to meet you anytime anyplace and have it out. ask her wtf?? do you need to wax your back, or wait for her to, uh, "arrive" before you do? is it the roommate or someone else? is she keeping you on a string while she explores a new "friendship"? some of these differences might be fixable if you can get her to open up. does she hate your car, your cat, your nose hairs, your mom? wtf is it?? take what she says and either make a change, if you're willing or move on. it's best to know so you don't waste your time. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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