On the verge of separating

[Gloria25]

I don't have any great advice for you, but I will say this: DO NOT have any children while things are like this. That's not going to help anything, and it would just be more lives affected.

 

 

I was married at 23; divorced at 27. I was like you-I didn't want to be "that person" divorced in their twenties. Then I realized that the bigger tragedy would be wasting precious years of my life on something that flat out wasn't going to work. You still love her, so by all means, keep trying if that's what you want to do. If it comes to the point where things end, you can go with a clear conscience knowing you did all you could to make it work. It does sound, though, that she pulled the old bait-and-switch trick.

 

 

Wishing you the best!

 

And that's why if I ever married, I'd like to have at least three years married with that person before we have kids.

 

Cuz, while people don't recognize it, there IS a change once you put on that ring. It isn't the same when you were dating, engaged, and/or shacking up (aka "living together"). Those first three years of marriage you're learning to actually bond as a "married" couple and trust me, shacking up before marriage doesn't cover that experience.

 

So, now that you're "married", she's showing you what kind of "wife" she is - which as you see, ain't the same when you were just "dating" and/or "living together".

 

I know divorce, breaking up, etc is embarrassing, but what is worst? Continuing doing something wrong - especially for the rest of your lifetime (cuz kids are 18 years entangled with this wife)?; or, cutting your losses now and moving on?

 

Besides you're not even 30. You have more than enough time to get out there and meet someone better. And, your clock isn't ticking (unlike females).

 

Good luck in whatever you decide

[ALL OR NOTHING]

My wife and I have been married for nearly 3 years ( I'm 27).

 

I work a 40hr week and when I come home she still expects me to cook, clean, drive her around, do the washing. When I try and go out to do my own thing. She makes me feel really bad. So I only get to do my own thing once I drop her off "as long as I'm back to pick her up".

 

We have tried MC and it seems to ease up for 1 month but reverts back to the old way. We are now arguing every day. And I am physically and emotionally shattered.

 

Advice please

 

You are now at a turning point , the way you choose to approach this will likely change your whole life. If you love her and you meant what you said about for better or worse then it's time to prove the words you swore to uphold.

 

Love is not easy , dealing with daily grind of life can tear any relationship down to the last thread. No relationship is different eventually we all will be tested by the other and therefore the bond will be tested too.

 

If I could go back in time I would of kept my mouth shut , as soon as you focus on the bad things you develop a pattern of thinking that literally corrodes the relationship , with each one of you slowly chipping away at one another till it crumbles in front of you.

 

You have a choice to stop this demise , others arn't so lucky. If I could go back I would of focus on the good stuff more , do more than I did , love harder than believed I could , allow her to have bad days , even weeks and be the person I was when we fell in love.

 

You need to remember who you are and not what you've become , because at the end of the day nothing else matters if you love her , nothing. If it gets to the point where you can't take it anymore , try a little harder and if that doesn't work try a little more. Youl never regret trying and if all does fail Youl know you did all you could and Youl be at piece when and if you choose to let go.

 

Focus only only on loving her and all will fall into place.

 

Read this over and over again - Remember that what ever we are doing at any single moment we are getting better at it , be careful on what your getting better at. Focus on what you want rather than what you don't want.