Sickofmymarriage Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I found material on my husbands computer of all of the iPhone cloud hacked footage, of naked celebs. He had exchanged the information on his jump drive from friends at work. He works in IT, and is tech savvy, so had been hiding his previous porn viewing in the past. We talked about the issue, and I tried to move on, only to find days later him looking at porn, masterbating right next to me while I was sleeping. I still haven't gotten over the entire situation. We don't have a good sex life whatsoever, and I don't trust him at all. I just don't know what to do. I am still young at 28, and would really just like to live my life alone if this is how my amazing, best friend, husband turned out. Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I found material on my husbands computer of all of the iPhone cloud hacked footage, of naked celebs. He had exchanged the information on his jump drive from friends at work. He works in IT, and is tech savvy, so had been hiding his previous porn viewing in the past. We talked about the issue, and I tried to move on, only to find days later him looking at porn, masterbating right next to me while I was sleeping. I still haven't gotten over the entire situation. We don't have a good sex life whatsoever, and I don't trust him at all. I just don't know what to do. I am still young at 28, and would really just like to live my life alone if this is how my amazing, best friend, husband turned out. Please help. Poor sex life and porn addicted mate Not a good combination and something you shouldn't tolerate. YOU cannot fix him and as an addict, he is not capable if sustaining a healthy normal sex life with his wife. YOU don't want to be the porn police and have to put up with little or no no sex forever. At 28 you should be having the sex of your life not having to listen to him jerking off to porn in the bed beside you. Time to cut him loose. Find a man with a healthy sex drive for a real live woman, not one who prefers his computer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sickofmymarriage Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 Poor sex life and porn addicted mate Not a good combination and something you shouldn't tolerate. YOU cannot fix him and as an addict, he is not capable if sustaining a healthy normal sex life with his wife. YOU don't want to be the porn police and have to put up with little or no no sex forever. At 28 you should be having the sex of your life not having to listen to him jerking off to porn in the bed beside you. Time to cut him loose. Find a man with a healthy sex drive for a real live woman, not one who prefers his computer. Thank you for your response. I sincerely appreciate it. I don't have family or friends to talk to, so this is a very big outlet for me. Thank you again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sickofmymarriage Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 I also wanted to state... When I do get in this mood, it's easier for my husband to ignore, and silent treatment me for days, rather than talk to me, ask me what's wrong, and try to make it right. What does that tell you? Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I don't think he'll stop with the porn addiction and you could well just be wasting time with him. He's too lazy to have decent sex with you and prefers to masterbate .... so I wonder what's in this marriage for you. Does he have other good qualities? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedCloud Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Is it really a porn addiction, or is he just looking at porn sometimes (which is something lots of people do, in marriages or not). If its an actual addiction, like he does it so often that its impeding your lives, then he needs to seek treatment like any other addiction. But if he's just looking at porn sometimes, like once or twice a week, then what is the issue? First, I think you both need to try to figure out why you're not having sex. Is this his doing or yours? Is he asking for sex? Are you withholding? Are you trying to have sex and he denies you? What's going on exactly? Some women view watching porn as cheating, are you one of these people? I have often watched porn with my boyfriend (ex's) during sex. Maybe you could try that to spice things up if he's so inclined to porn? Otherwise...I don't see a resolution unless you two actually talk about it. And if hes giving you the silent treatment for days after you catch him watching porn - is it because you've yelled at him in the past about it and now he's embarrassed? I'm a little confused about the dynamic going on here. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Porn , no sex with you and silent treatment ! What is there in the marriage ? That's complete isolation ! It would be different if he talked about it and you both could see where each is coming from and sort it out. If he is addicted, therapy could help. But if he gives silent treatment then it's probably a deep seated resentment against you. Has it always been like this ? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 I also wanted to state... When I do get in this mood, it's easier for my husband to ignore, and silent treatment me for days, rather than talk to me, ask me what's wrong, and try to make it right. What does that tell you? Silent treatment is a form of abuse. He surely is one mixed up kid. Do you think he would go to therapy with you, IC/MC? Link to post Share on other sites
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