Casual conversations shortly after break up

[FrenchDaisy]

Hi all.

 

So about a month ago, I broke up with my ex because I was experiencing a lot of anxiety in the relationship due to him being distant. Of note, we were in a long-distance relationship for about 8 months but knewe each other for about 1.5 years. This distance made it difficult for me to assess his situation at home and at school where he was apparently under a lot of stress and which likewise caused him to become distant.

 

Not even two weeks into the break up, I decided to contact my ex again because I found the void in my heart too painful and felt I had abandoned him. He did not take it so well at first, understandably because I broke his heart and he kept blocking me online for a while and got angry with me. However, he eventually had a change of heart and wanted to stay in touch again but stated he wasn't interested in a relationship. He told me I could message him anytime and apologized for how he treated me earlier.

 

Now it feels like we're talking a bit more frequently, sharing bits and pieces of our lives, and going into casual topics. We have not really talked about our relationship or anything emotional. In fact, I'm always the one to initiate conversation so far. His replies aren't without substance though and he is still going through a lot in terms of stress. I don't pressure him.

 

In any case, I still hope that we might one day be together again but I appreciate still being considered a friend at the moment. My question is, should I give him some time to initiate conversation for once if I want to be closer with him again some day? I'm afraid I'm being a tad overbearing but I always let conversations die when he doesn't seem interested and he hasn't complained about me yet.

 

Thanks for reading.

[BC1980]

You dumped him right? It wasn't like you were a forced dumper?

[Zahara]

It doesn't sound like he's very interested. You mentioned he never makes the effort/initiates now that you've ended, just as he was becoming distant while you were in a relationship with him. Best to step back and let him come to you. Don't sit around and wait -- you should start moving on from this as well.

[FrenchDaisy]

You dumped him right? It wasn't like you were a forced dumper?

 

Actually, it was forced... I dumped him and then proceeded to go NC for two weeks after..

 

It doesn't sound like he's very interested. You mentioned he never makes the effort/initiates now that you've ended, just as he was becoming distant while you were in a relationship with him. Best to step back and let him come to you. Don't sit around and wait -- you should start moving on from this as well.

 

There's just been somewhat mixed signals I've been confused by. Actually the reason we started talking again on more friendly terms was a mistake on my part when I replied to a message he sent to me that I didn't realize was over a week old and after his initial reactions of anger. He then proceeded to kind of "spam" me with seemingly enthusiastic replies in response.

 

Anyhow, you're probably right that he may not be completely interested. School and his family are still causing him great distress so I'm a low priority for him, if any, in his life. I will definitely leave him be for now.