FadedFantasy Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 My boyfriend broke up with me and a month after he had a new girlfriend. Although, he was still texting me all the time that he miss me, so I believe it was just a rebound. We eventually got back together after four months, but I have really bad trust issues. I recently found out that they have slept together a couple of times. I was suspecting that, but now when I know it hurts so much. I don't know if I would be able to have sex with him without thinking about her. Should it really bother me that much? Will it go away? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 You need to work on your own issues. He didn't cause them. I am concerned about why you thought it was a good idea to go backwards in life. If your relationship was so bad that you broke up, what improvements were made that caused you to accept him back after he'd moved on to someone else? Unless you fixed the things that caused you break up, now you have all those problems plus this new issue. How is that good for you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 He left you because he wanted to. He wanted to experiment with other girls, he didn't have enough with you. Don't be his safety blanket, you deserve better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Your biggest mistake was "We eventually got back together".... Any guy who has the affront to have a relationship with someone else - then come back - and then STILL hook up with other women....? Never gets a chance to put his big fat foot anywhere near my door, ever again. I'm sorry, he's treating you like a fool, and you are letting him. I'm sure you have a lot more dignity that you appear to have, so I strongly suggest your next post begins - "Hey guys, I dumped him big time!" Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Why did you break up initially? If you mean he slept with her while you were broken up, there's not much you can do. It wasn't wrong for him to do that, though I understand why it's not fun to hear about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FadedFantasy Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 Your biggest mistake was "We eventually got back together".... Any guy who has the affront to have a relationship with someone else - then come back - and then STILL hook up with other women....? Never gets a chance to put his big fat foot anywhere near my door, ever again. I'm sorry, he's treating you like a fool, and you are letting him. I'm sure you have a lot more dignity that you appear to have, so I strongly suggest your next post begins - "Hey guys, I dumped him big time!" I ment he had sex with her while we were broken up, as soon as we kind of started talking about getting back together and fixing things he stopped I'm not a fool, i just have some trouble with letting the past go Link to post Share on other sites
Author FadedFantasy Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 We broke up because he went on studies and it was hard to find time for each other. Now it is way easier for me to understand that and I see that he tries his best to see me as often as he can. Despite all that, our relationship was perfect tbh, I never had ANY trust issues before Link to post Share on other sites
Author FadedFantasy Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 He told me after that it was kind of a grass is greener syndrome Maybe I deserve better, but you know, people make mistakes He tries really hard to make things work out this time, it just hurts a lot to know that he was dealing with the breakup it that way Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 And how long were you together when you broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 My boyfriend broke up with me and a month after he had a new girlfriend. Although, he was still texting me all the time that he miss me, so I believe it was just a rebound. We eventually got back together after four months, but I have really bad trust issues. I recently found out that they have slept together a couple of times. I was suspecting that, but now when I know it hurts so much. I don't know if I would be able to have sex with him without thinking about her. Should it really bother me that much? Will it go away? He was the dumper so it was probably not a rebound as he was most likely no longer that invested in you and wanted to end things to see other women. Which is in fact what happened. Once he had his "freedom" for a while, he was obviously not that impressed or things didn't go the way he planned, so he got back with you. I always believe that once broken up never go back, as the issues that split you up in the first place are probably still around and will resurface down the line. Unfortunately you are now also left with the image of him sleeping with her and you now no longer trust him either. It will take a long time for you to get over this so you have to weigh up whether it is worth even trying, I am not sure that it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ALL OR NOTHING Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 My boyfriend broke up with me and a month after he had a new girlfriend. Although, he was still texting me all the time that he miss me, so I believe it was just a rebound. We eventually got back together after four months, but I have really bad trust issues. I recently found out that they have slept together a couple of times. I was suspecting that, but now when I know it hurts so much. I don't know if I would be able to have sex with him without thinking about her. Should it really bother me that much? Will it go away? You should take a deep breath and realize that your worth more than what he gave you. The fact that he believed you were not enough for him and walked out your life to see if he could find better indicates that he is not the same as you. There are two types of people in this world the ones that don't give up and the ones that do. Love is the same with everyone it's just a question of wether a person has matured enough to understand that love is not easy. If you truly love someone you don't leave them and you don't give up on them. He is a giver upper and you are not so you need to find someone who matches your quality of love which is someone who doesn't give up. Take back the power tell him he had his chance and your gunna find someone who stands by you no matter what. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FadedFantasy Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 And how long were you together when you broke up? Over a year Link to post Share on other sites
Author FadedFantasy Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 I feel like I have not described everything correctly I am 100% sure it was a reboud because of the way he acted and all the things he told me afterwards. I don't think it is necessary to write it all. I know him really well and I know the breakup was also hard for him, although he had someone to cheer him up. He realised after some time that he wouldnt find anyone better that me and want a second chance. He is now a very caring and loving boyfriend and tries his best to make things work out, despite we don't see each other very often. The only thing is that I have problems with letting go the past, which i need to do if we want to make things work. I know that he had rights to meet and sleep with whoever he wanted to while we werent together. But it is so hard to forgive and Im only asking if this sex should bother me so much or should i let it go. Im not asking if i should take him back or not, because i already did and i think it was a right decision Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 But it is so hard to forgive and Im only asking if this sex should bother me so much or should i let it go. Im not asking if i should take him back or not, because i already did and i think it was a right decision It doesn't matter if people here say it should or shouldn't bother you; the fact is it does. So what difference does it make what other people think? It isn't going to cure your insecurity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kmobarek89 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 It will bother you, I'm sure every human will feel a certain way. You just have to let it go past your mind you guys have a long life ahead of you to let this ruin anything, continue making memories that will overshadow that. Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Going through something similar but I don't think i can let it go. The past is the "past" but technically it was an IN BETWEEN if you take this person back. I don't think it's worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
gaig Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 There are two types of people in this world the ones that don't give up and the ones that do. Love is the same with everyone it's just a question of whether a person has matured enough to understand that love is not easy. If you truly love someone you don't leave them and you don't give up on them. He is a giver upper and you are not so you need to find someone who matches your quality of love which is someone who doesn't give up. You couldn't have put it better! It's really black and white here, these two categories only. The only grey zone I have identified are people that pretend to belong to the don't give uppers 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 you couldn't have put it better! It's really black and white here, these two categories only. The only grey zone i have identified are people that pretend to belong to the don't give uppers amennnnnn;) Link to post Share on other sites
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