UPDATE Thread - Suicide Attempt / Psychiatric Treament

[BelleSkye]

I decided to call it quits. I just realised that I am tired of reinventing myself after each breakup with my ex (we were off andon for 4 years), regretting my career choice, have frenemies as friends and just awful family support. But my main focus will be because of my ex, for making realise what I am...I.e. not good enough for him.

 

I am not going to plead to have him back and requested in my letter to my sister to never tell him that I passed on...or anyone to tell him. I dont want him back but at the same time I cant take it....the traumatic break up and the things he said afterwards.....

 

When my family leaves for holiday, im planning to take my life. But before I go, is there any spiritual factor I should take into account? I dont want to chance an afterlife where the soul is in turmoil. Is there any prayer or rituals I can do before I act on my decision?

[TaraMaiden2]

Don't pray for yourself.

Pray for all the people who love you, communicate with you, and have feelings of kindness and compassion for you.

Your family will be inconsolable, devastated and suffer the perpetual anguish for as long as they live, that someone thy loved and held close to them, had enough sadness in them to inconceivably, inexplicably, tragically take their own lives.

Your "problems" will be over.

Their grief will never end.

No matter what you say to them, no matter what the explanation, they will always be bewildered and shattered that they could not do more.

They will never understand, and this will leave them with a wound that will never heal, get better or fade in time.

 

You won't have to worry about this, of course.

You will never be witness to their daily struggle to come to terms with your suicide.

You will never know, or witness the secret tears they will shed, the pain and agony of having to cope with your death, the aftermath, the funeral, the condolences, the sadness, the unanswered - and unanswerable - questions.

They will have to deal with your death and the taking of your own life, alone.

This isn't said to make you feel bad, or guilty.

After all, any vestiges of humanity, guilt and sadness will ALL disappear the moment you end your life.

So don't worry.

 

Pray for them.

They need it more than you do.

[TaraMaiden2]

In addition to which, there is no religion that advocates, commends or even tolerates suicide.

It's wrong, it's (by some standards) sinful and although considered with compassion and pity, it's not something any religion will readily accept or take kindly to.

 

If you have a soul (and Buddhism does not recognise the existence of a transmigrating soul) it will know torment and discomfort.

 

There have been accounts of people going through NDEs and talking about a wonderful light, meeting spiritual mystical beings and finding comfort and solace before 'going back'.

 

There have, with far less publicity, also been those who have had terrifying, dark, frightening and harrowing accounts of such experiences.

 

So I wouldn't automatically count on a guaranteed 'happy ride', if indeed, such a ride exists.

 

In fact, there's no guarantee that you (if you have a soul) will have a happier time dead, than alive.

 

You're welcome.

[brothers343]

I usually don't post but Ill make the exception for you. The job that i have allows me to see alot of bad stuff, alot of bad decisions done by good or bad people. I seen many suicides in my career and I have have often wondered where there souls go. I believe in god and i also believe that he has set a day of rest for us when the time comes. I dont know what kind of pain your feeling but what your going through in time...... it will heal. You think you will have rest in the after life if you do this, I think you won't. I think your pain and anguish will just be starting. You asked for opinions and I am giving you mine. It takes courage to live in this world and stand your ground. It takes less courage to end it yourself. You will prosper and you will make it.

[CarrieT]

I dont want to chance an afterlife where the soul is in turmoil. Is there any prayer or rituals I can do before I act on my decision?

I am being completely rhetorical, but how can you be sure that the afterlife you are concerned with won't be far more painful and tumultuous than what you are experiencing now?

 

And as someone who threw away the most precious gift - life - you would thereby be ensuring an ETERNITY of pain far worse than what you experience after a break-up.

 

You say you "don't want to chance an afterlife where the soul is in turmoil," and yet that is exactly what you will be doing - and taking a chance that it will be far more horrific.

 

Also, read what TaraMaiden wrote again. I had a friend take his life shortly after Thanksgiving. The reeling and unending sadness of those of us trying to care for his family is untenable. Don't do this to your family - they deserve more than to have their live shattered. Share your pain with them and explain you need help.

[William]

Moderator bump and thank you members for your considered responses and I'll share that the starter has logged in since the first post so most of your words were viewed by them. I hope it helps. Best wishes everyone for a healthy and happy New Year.

[TaraMaiden2]

Thank you William.

Good wishes to you and yours, also.

 

There is a saying in Buddhism that to be re-born into the Human realm is as rare and opportune a circumstance as a blind turtle swimming a vast ocean, and surfacing for air, and coincidentally putting its head through a floating wooden hoop.

 

...The Buddha described a small wooden hoop floating in the middle of a great ocean, from the surface of which every several hundred years a blind turtle emerges. The Buddha compared the chances of that blind turtle emerging in exactly the spot where that wooden hoop is floating, its head passing through the hoop, as exceeding those of a being wandering through various realms of existence being born as a human being. Given the rarity of human birth and the advantages it confers for spiritual liberation, the sanctity of human life is stressed in the Buddhist teachings. Every single life, without exception, is sacred.

 

It seems a tragic and untimely, desperate waste of a potentially-useful existence, when there are countless millions of opportunities to Do Good and help others available, to create fulfilment, compassion and kindness.

 

Once you're dead, you and anyone who might need your support, are beyond help.

 

Imagine dying, and missing the ample opportunity to help just one other life; to make a difference. To cause another human being to be grateful and thankful for your existence and thank whatever powers-that-be, for your opportune and timely assistance.

 

My point is, that for every moment you wish yourself dead, there are hundreds of people, near and far, desperate to live.

If you wish to give your life meaning, sell up, move away and go to a remote part of the world where humanity is crying out for anyone who will listen.

Look to where people have been deprived, through disaster, of even the most basic, commonplace and standard needs.

Perspective is what is needed here.

Edited January 1, 2016 by TaraMaiden2

[whichwayisup]

I decided to call it quits. I just realised that I am tired of reinventing myself after each breakup with my ex (we were off andon for 4 years), regretting my career choice, have frenemies as friends and just awful family support. But my main focus will be because of my ex, for making realise what I am...I.e. not good enough for him.

 

I am not going to plead to have him back and requested in my letter to my sister to never tell him that I passed on...or anyone to tell him. I dont want him back but at the same time I cant take it....the traumatic break up and the things he said afterwards.....

 

When my family leaves for holiday, im planning to take my life. But before I go, is there any spiritual factor I should take into account? I dont want to chance an afterlife where the soul is in turmoil. Is there any prayer or rituals I can do before I act on my decision?

 

Stop it! Your ex isn't GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! He isn't worthy of YOU!

 

I really hope you stop and think, get some help so you don't do something you can't take back.

 

You're in a bad place right now, but please don't give up. Seek counseling and talk it out, go on meds if need be. You were happy once and can be again.

[Jan 79]

Belle Skye,

 

 

Please please do not do anything silly and irrational. PLEASE!

 

 

Think about it. This guy has made you so sad and low. He is a nasty human being. You are SOOOO much better than he is.

 

 

In a year's time or two years time, you could be a very happy person. Work on yourself and your confidence. Do things slowly. Read, learn, listen to music, make new friends, have fun. Life is too short to let a man make you feel this way.

 

 

This sounds harsh but wanting to kill yourself is a major weakness. Face the consequences. Deal with them, make yourself happy, surround yourself with happy positive people. Anyone can do this, but they have to TRY!!

 

 

I know this is a forum and I'm spouting words and not physically helping, but YOU have to turn your life around. Starting today.

 

 

I wish you luck

 

 

Jan

England

[SoleMate]

Please call and talk to someone:

 

Need help? United States:

1 (800) 273-8255

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week

Languages: English, Spanish

Website: Lifeline

 

I care and want you to have a happy life. Please pick up the phone.

[William]

Folks, I'm going to move this to our Coping forum, leaving a redirect in this forum, as it has some excellent resources contained in pinned threads at the top. Thank you for your continued support. We'll continue to monitor this and update as appropriate.

[LydiaLong]

Belle, the truth is that there are a lot of selfish guys out there. They can be charming and make you think they adore you, but really, all they want is to be a player. I promise you there is someone out there who will worship you and want you for yourself. Don't give up looking. I found the love of my life when I was in my 50s.

[xxoo]

Belle,

 

First I want to confirm what has already been said, that suicide leaves a permanent wound that NEVER heals for those you leave behind. I'm talking about people who love and care about you. Please, reach out instead of acting on your suicidal thoughts. Call the suicide hotline. You matter to many people.

 

Next, your pain and sadness. I can sense how strong and dark it is, and how it seems it will always be that way. It's a problem that must be addressed, not a normal state of life. There is a healthier, happier life possible for you. Light and hope. the life your are meant to live. This pain is NOT your destiny. Suicide is not the solution, as it only creates more pain and closes the door on you living a happy, healthy life.

 

You don't have to, and shouldn't try to, do it alone. Ask for and accept help. Please, make a call.

[NopeNah]

Suicide,because you feel 'pain' over some guy?

 

Before you do this...Go to a children cancer ward.. Look at true pain/fear in the faces of those kids and their family. That's TRUE heartbreak! Just give it a try...Please!

 

Look at the homeless people,in the cold,struggling everyday to make it to the next!

 

A breakup is no reason to commit suicide.

[William]

Don't normally do this but will advise that the starter is available to read your responses if they choose. Keep them coming and hopefully they will engage. Thanks for your continued support.

[TaraMaiden2]

Don't normally do this but will advise that the starter is available to read your responses if they choose. Keep them coming and hopefully they will engage. Thanks for your continued support.

 

That's just how much you care, William.

 

"I am, because we are."

 

There is no such thing as an isolated and alone human.

We all connect, we all interconnect, we all depend, we all inter-depend.

It's vital to know, for sure for sure, that one human life matters as much as all human lives.

Nobody was ever meant to die by their own hand, out of sheer despair.

It's just so wrong and sad, on so many levels....

[privategal]

I hope for your peace and that you can find the strenth to know you are worthy loved and that you won't give up.

You will heal and be able to thrive again.

Your pain is ok and normal.

Please don't give up.

[Cora]

This breaks my heart that you would even consider taking your life. Life is such a gift. I understand you are hurting and the type of pain you are experiencing can be a very powerful thing, but don't be fooled by it. Thinking that ending your life is the answer to all of your problems just isn't true. You would be surprised at the number of people who love and care about you and who would be affected by the loss of you. Just look at the people here who care enough about you to post and try to help. Complete strangers who don't want to see you take your life.

 

Your life is precious and I hope that you change your mind. Please don't end your life. Better days are surely to come for you, but if you end things now, there will be no better days to come. Stay strong and these tough times will pass.

[splinter163]

Please, don't do it.

 

I know what you're going through. Most of the people here do. You just need a change in your life. It could be something small, or something big like moving to a different city.

 

You can't let some incompatibility with your ex define your worth. THAT'S BIG GIANT BS. You can do and be WATHEVER you want in this life. And no, that's not some motivational crap, it's the truth.

 

There are so many GREAT things in this world that you're not seeing. The world doesn't end up in your town, your workplace, your ex or your family. There is some great people, some great places and some great experiences out there you still haven't found. But they're there.

 

Make a change. I PROMISE you can be as happy as you've always dreamt. You just need to be willing do it, and keep fighting.

 

Please, keep fighting. We all are. And we're all going to be successful because of it.

 

Love.

[William]

Checking in to again thank members for their kindness and compassion and to share that my confidence is high that the immediate threat has passed. However, continued support is encouraged as members feel like sharing.

[TaraMaiden2]

Thanks William.

I think what we all really hope is that the OP will come back and tell us that she has listened to what we've had to say.

 

They do say that suicide is one decision you'll never live to regret; and that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Life can churn up a cliché for any situation.

 

I personally would just love to know that she's okay, and hanging in there.

 

Much Metta to you and all. XX

[road]

Belle, there is always a tomorrow, with opportunities. Do not deny yourself of using every day to come that god has given you.

[tuxedo cat]

I decided to call it quits. I just realised that I am tired of reinventing myself after each breakup with my ex (we were off andon for 4 years), regretting my career choice, have frenemies as friends and just awful family support. But my main focus will be because of my ex, for making realise what I am...I.e. not good enough for him.

 

I am not going to plead to have him back and requested in my letter to my sister to never tell him that I passed on...or anyone to tell him. I dont want him back but at the same time I cant take it....the traumatic break up and the things he said afterwards.....

 

When my family leaves for holiday, im planning to take my life. But before I go, is there any spiritual factor I should take into account? I dont want to chance an afterlife where the soul is in turmoil. Is there any prayer or rituals I can do before I act on my decision?

 

Please do not end your life over some loser guy. Seriously, that's the worst possible reason for suicide.

[BettyDraper]

How are you planning on killing yourself? Have you attempted suicide before?

Does anyone know of your plans?

 

I'm asking these questions based on my past experience as a suicide prevention volunteer. The fact that you have reached out and you are considering the consequences of your actions is a sign that you may still want to live. Perhaps you don't truly want to die; you just want the pain to stop.

 

There was a time in my life where I repeatedly tried to end my time on this earth. I was struggling with the effects of abuse and grief. I lived to see the pain I caused people around me. I can't imagine how they would have felt if I actually passed away. I'm glad that I fought through my issues because then I would have missed out on true love, healing and many other wonderful experiences. Volunteer work helped me use my pain to help others and it helped me become far more grateful for what I did have.

 

Nobody is worth your life. You can find new friend and a better boyfriend. You can train for a new career. What you cannot do is regain your lost life if you commit suicide. Life and human beings will always disappoint you. That's why you must try to find happiness within yourself.

 

The only way out is through. Allow yourself to go through the pain of your breakup so that you can come out on the other side.

 

You will suffer in the afterlife if you commit suicide. Suicide is murder and taking life is considered a grave sin in almost every religion. Think of the pain you are feeling now and multiply it by 5000. That is what is waiting for you on the other side if you end your life.

[BelleSkye]

Dear Loveshackers

 

I am overwhelmed with the replies for this thread ~ your messages are definitely being considered and taken into heart.

 

A big thank you to William - it is one thing to manage a site like this, but to also keep everyone updated, I appreciate what you did for the posters (including myself). I initially thought you deleted my thread and only realised today that it was moved to the coping forum.

 

The poster names in this thread - I have been actively following your stories, for all the first time posters yet long time lurkers - thank you for the effort - it is graciously noted.

 

I am embarrassed by starting this thread and feel guilty for getting many people here worried. But the decision has been / was made - it is not an immediate act - nor this is a cry for help for attention...it is truely on the basis that I do believe in a higher power / God and not saying that anyone must give up when things get tough but for once - suicide is the only calming thought / coping technique that I have energy for.

 

My entire story is not here - but it is similar / also reflected in bits and pieces in other members posts....the one poster that hit me hard was posting on HopeShimmers thread - about losing a baby and that it was a hail mary pass for the OM.

 

FYI - last year - I was forced into considering an abortion and my ex fiance (who was with me at that time) refused to help me - anyway, I did not give into the abortion but I think the stress, anxiety and fear made me miscarry...and that was not even the worst part of it - a month later I was admitted into a psychiatric hospital for a complete nervous break down - the things he said and did to me during a particular fight - not only they haunt me but I'm in utter disbelief wondering - what sort of person am I to deserve such treatment? Even though I know the accusations and threats were not true.

 

I even had to endure him telling me how he was worried if any of his ex girlfriends were in danger but if I was in danger, I would have to fend for myself - and this is in Gauteng - South Africa, where if you are a girl alone at home, besides the likelihood of you being robbed, you will surely be raped and mutilated....

 

I'm no saint myself - No, I did not cheat on him, my ex fiance. When we broke up, I considered a rebound relationship in another country to start new. My actions toward the rebound guy (I was never intimate with him) where awful and made me realise what my ex fiance was possibly going through - maybe he just was not into me and that thought alone - is enough to say I'm an idiot for even considering I had a chance at happiness with him.

 

I do suffer from PTSD, which landed up showing as BPD in the relationship. I have not attempted suicide before and if you asked me last year September about suicide - I would have said its the cheapest way out (I was referring to Jim Carrey's ex girlfriend's suicide at the time....ironically, after reading her story / death and making that comment - life as I would have known turned upside down for me....and now I am the suicidal one).

 

The most ironic thing - I'm not depressed...relieved I am out of the relationship, staying with long lost family in another country (they 'saved' me from the rebound guy'), I eat, I exercise, I laugh when something is funny - I appreciate the help to restart my career in a new country, I go sight seeing - NC is easy - I dont miss chatting to him - my ex etc

 

But the nightmares / dreams I experience about my ex - I did truely love him (for all the wrong reasons)...and he was the one who ultimately let me go because he wants me to find happiness... So in his defense, he set me free - and I....hate myself so much....for not being good enough.

 

I have been googling people who committed suicide - especially Robin Williams, who starred in what dreams may come....how can someone who brought so much joy be subjected to soul torture pain afterwards? I realised that maybe because he has a lot of family (friends and fans as well) praying for him - to help his soul move on.

 

I dont have that support - I doubt my family or friends will pray for me after I go (strong sleeping pills and prescription pain killers with hanging rope). Also, since I am in a foreign country and not to disrespect the family I am staying with, I am planning to go somewhere far - like a forest and continue my act. It is the only thing keeping me going so far - but all your posts are making me scared - I am not superstitious but I also did have some experiences with...spirits? Ghosts? (Just typing that out sounds so stupid but I can't deny my haunted house experience unfortunately).

 

That is why I wanted to do some sort of ritual or prayer before I acted out on my decision. Yes, it was one guy, no he is not worth it, I have an unhealthy pedestal image of him but I dont feel the other areas in my life are that rewarding to keep me going. If you only knew how hard I have been trying for the past 10 years for a better job, better family relationships, better friends....all my attempts have been fruitless. I get acknowledgments that I am a good person etc but in the same breath....I can't help but feel and say I know some pretty useless people in my life.

 

I exercise, my blood tests are fine, I take enough CalMag and Vitamin D supplements - I'm just tired of not living a life of being...me.

 

I am considering all your comments (and I have seen a counselor in the new country) and glad that William keeps you posted on my activities - I am trying to consider an alternative coping mechanism but my heart is not into restarting or reinventing myself....