Are people who adopt children also considered parents?

[MelodyRye]

Since yesterday was a very special day to all the mothers, this had me thinking:

 

What about those women (or men) that for whatever reason could never had biological kids but always wanted so they adopt a child/children, are they still considered parents? Would they still celebrate Mother's or Father's Day?

 

For instance my older female cousin in her late 30's is infertile and obviously the news for her was depressing (she found out about it in 2010) and it's only been 2 years since adopting a baby girl who was 2 at the time. She loves that girl as if she were her daughter.

Edited May 9, 2016 by MelodyRye

[d0nnivain]

Of course they are parents. The legal documents that accompany the adoption confer on all children & parents the legal rights & responsibilities of parenthood.

[GunslingerRoland]

Yes, they are parents fully in every sense of the word.

 

 

She loves that girl as if she were her daughter.

 

This is where your perception is wrong, she already IS her own daughter.

[amaysngrace]

You ask this question as if earning the title of Dad or Mom was as simple as just impregnating a woman through intercourse or popping out a newborn.

 

It's a little more detailed than that.

[Haydn]

Yes they most certainly are.

[preraph]

Yes! They're the most selfless parents in the world! They were willing to raise someone else's child and love them as their own. Bravo to each and every one of the adoptive parents out there.

[Gloria25]

You ask this question as if earning the title of Dad or Mom was as simple as just impregnating a woman through intercourse or popping out a newborn.

 

It's a little more detailed than that.

 

Anyone can be a "father/mother" by having sex, making and birthing a kid...a "parent" is someone who actually "raises" that child.

 

IMO, it's sad that some adoptive children are quick to look past everything their adoptive parents did for them cuz they want a connection with their bio-mom/dad. One chick even wanted her bio-dad to walk her down the isle when dude had no part in her life.

[wmacbride]

I was adopted. My mom and dad are my mom and dad. I know little about my biological parents. While I appreciate what my biological mother did by enduring what would have been a difficult time for her, and I know giving up a child isn't easy, to me, she is not my "real mom".

[sandylee1]

Since yesterday was a very special day to all the mothers, this had me thinking:

 

What about those women (or men) that for whatever reason could never had biological kids but always wanted so they adopt a child/children, are they still considered parents? Would they still celebrate Mother's or Father's Day?

 

For instance my older female cousin in her late 30's is infertile and obviously the news for her was depressing (she found out about it in 2010) and it's only been 2 years since adopting a baby girl who was 2 at the time. She loves that girl as if she were her daughter.

 

Of course they are considered parents.

 

Adoptive parents love their children like any other parents. As your cousins little girl grows up... she will relate to her just like any other mother and daughter do.

 

If you nurture love, protect, clothe and feed a child... then you are a parent.

[sandylee1]

Yes! They're the most selfless parents in the world! They were willing to raise someone else's child and love them as their own. Bravo to each and every one of the adoptive parents out there.

 

I agree that they do a great job.... BUT I wouldn't call it selfless. They usually do it because they want a child and often could not have their own bio children. You say this like they're doing a charitable job.

 

Most people don't simply adopt out of the pure goodness of their heart... they want a child and someone else is unable to keep their child for whatever reason - it's a two way street.

 

Yes... I know people will know someone with their own bio kids who also adopted... but that's not the norm. The adoption waiting lists are filled with childless couples.

[dichotomy]

I have raised my Step daughter since she was 7. She is almost out of the home now and has spent 92% of her time with me and her mom. That said she does have a dad, and as troubled as that man has been, she has a connection with her biodad.

 

However last year, for the first time ever, she gave me a fathers day card that said thanks for being a dad. Meant alot to me.

 

Its okay to have more than one dad.

[preraph]

Sandy, I agree that maybe some people do it out of desperation, but the fact remains that at least they aren't so self-centered and egotistical to let the fact the child doesn't carry their genes and isn't a little Mini-Me stop them from providing a child in need a good home, so I still think they're a head above the rest.

 

I have two friends. One has one child of her own and agreed to adopt the child of a heroin addict half-sister, knowing full well it could be a real challenge. And it's not because she was close to the half-sister. They didn't know each other until they were both adults.

 

My other friend did have fertility problems, but I've known her a long time and she and her husband are the most loving caring people and I knew her because she has rescued so many dogs and spent tons of their money on rehabbing them. They're just good people who didn't get pregnant and she was just as willing to adopt kids as she was willing to rescue the dogs.

 

I think the biggest issue with the desperate adoptive parents is they usually want babies only. Older kids, if family doesn't take them, can certainly slip through the cracks.

[dichotomy]

I don't know how some of you will take this, or if its relevant to this discussion but here it is....

 

I think genetics sometimes has a part in child parent relations.

 

I would have (and did - believe me) move heaven and earth for my Step Daughter. But I struggled to understand her many times. She was so different from my family or general people I knew. I came to understand her bio dad shared many of these traits, but some of them were kind of difficult to accept... or live with. Again it did not stop me from caring or giving,or loving - but it was difficult for me to understand her. i think she also at times could not understand me.

 

After we had a bio child who had my family genetics - all of a sudden - there was my family traits in my home. Same kind of emotional and mental processing - humor, ways of feeling and seeing things. It was more of a shock for my wife, she did not know a child like this, but for me it was familiarity.

 

I still love both - but just saying genetics can be a factor. I know this genetic familiarity can also sometimes be felt by the child. My SD has a love -hate relationship with her mostly absent biodad - she realizes her genetic legacy but has enough distance and time apart to objectively see the issues with him that reside in her. She learned and gained alot from me as her dad that raised her, but there is a part of her that comes from elsewhere as well. If this makes any sense.

Edited May 9, 2016 by dichotomy

[MrDuck]

100%!! No question! Raising a kid makes you a parent!

[Gemma1]

I don't know how some of you will take this, or if its relevant to this discussion but here it is....

 

I think genetics sometimes has a part in child parent relations.

 

I would have (and did - believe me) move heaven and earth for my Step Daughter. But I struggled to understand her many times. She was so different from my family or general people I knew. I came to understand her bio dad shared many of these traits, but some of them were kind of difficult to accept... or live with. Again it did not stop me from caring or giving,or loving - but it was difficult for me to understand her. i think she also at times could not understand me.

 

After we had a bio child who had my family genetics - all of a sudden - there was my family traits in my home. Same kind of emotional and mental processing - humor, ways of feeling and seeing things. It was more of a shock for my wife, she did not know a child like this, but for me it was familiarity.

 

I still love both - but just saying genetics can be a factor. I know this genetic familiarity can also sometimes be felt by the child. My SD has a love -hate relationship with her mostly absent biodad - she realizes her genetic legacy but has enough distance and time apart to objectively see the issues with him that reside in her. She learned and gained alot from me as her dad that raised her, but there is a part of her that comes from elsewhere as well. If this makes any sense.

How old was she when you came into the picture?

[sandylee1]

Dichotomy,

 

Whilst I hear what you're saying ..... all kids can turn out different from their parents.. biological or not. You find siblings who are so very different from each other, despite being raised with the same values.

 

I do think stepchildren are different to adoptive kids though. With a replies, they have one bio parent on the scene (sometimes two) and they have usually lived with both parents at some point.

[OneLov]

Parent -

 

1

a : one that begets or brings forth offspring

b : a person who brings up and cares for another

 

2

a : an animal or plant that is regarded in relation to its offspring

b : the material or source from which something is derived

c : a group from which another arises and to which it usually remains subsidiary <a parent company>

 

According to Merriam-Webster she is.

[Els]

Of course, why wouldn't they be?

[JustGettingBy]

'Parent" is a noun, its what they are.

 

"adoptive" and "biological" are merely adjectives.

[ChickiePops]

Of course! Why is this even a question??

[anika99]

I don't know how some of you will take this, or if its relevant to this discussion but here it is....

 

I think genetics sometimes has a part in child parent relations.

 

I would have (and did - believe me) move heaven and earth for my Step Daughter. But I struggled to understand her many times. She was so different from my family or general people I knew. I came to understand her bio dad shared many of these traits, but some of them were kind of difficult to accept... or live with. Again it did not stop me from caring or giving,or loving - but it was difficult for me to understand her. i think she also at times could not understand me.

 

After we had a bio child who had my family genetics - all of a sudden - there was my family traits in my home. Same kind of emotional and mental processing - humor, ways of feeling and seeing things. It was more of a shock for my wife, she did not know a child like this, but for me it was familiarity.

 

I still love both - but just saying genetics can be a factor. I know this genetic familiarity can also sometimes be felt by the child. My SD has a love -hate relationship with her mostly absent biodad - she realizes her genetic legacy but has enough distance and time apart to objectively see the issues with him that reside in her. She learned and gained alot from me as her dad that raised her, but there is a part of her that comes from elsewhere as well. If this makes any sense.

 

I actually agree with you. I have 2 sons, the youngest has never met his biological father. He is remarkably similar in personality to his father and I mean that in a good way. Same sense of humour, same good natured disposition, same sense of empathy and ability to relate to people of all ages and walks of life. My oldest son reminds me more of myself, I always that came down to being raised by me until I saw my youngest turn into his father, a man he has never met.

[dichotomy]

How old was she when you came into the picture?

 

She was 8.

[Art_Critic]

yes of course they are.... something that hasn't been mentioned is the legal side of it.. legally adoptive parents are real parents even in the eyes of the law..

An adoptive child has the same legal rights as does a same blood born child of the same parent... including inheritance.

[Els]

I don't know how some of you will take this, or if its relevant to this discussion but here it is....

 

I think genetics sometimes has a part in child parent relations.

 

I would have (and did - believe me) move heaven and earth for my Step Daughter. But I struggled to understand her many times. She was so different from my family or general people I knew. I came to understand her bio dad shared many of these traits, but some of them were kind of difficult to accept... or live with. Again it did not stop me from caring or giving,or loving - but it was difficult for me to understand her. i think she also at times could not understand me.

 

After we had a bio child who had my family genetics - all of a sudden - there was my family traits in my home. Same kind of emotional and mental processing - humor, ways of feeling and seeing things. It was more of a shock for my wife, she did not know a child like this, but for me it was familiarity.

 

I still love both - but just saying genetics can be a factor. I know this genetic familiarity can also sometimes be felt by the child. My SD has a love -hate relationship with her mostly absent biodad - she realizes her genetic legacy but has enough distance and time apart to objectively see the issues with him that reside in her. She learned and gained alot from me as her dad that raised her, but there is a part of her that comes from elsewhere as well. If this makes any sense.

 

I'm not sure how true this is. My biological parents and I have quite different personalities, mindsets, worldviews, values etc. We both love each other and try to do our best by each other, but we are clearly very different people (although we do share a few hereditary traits, we are more different than we are alike). I share more similarities with some unrelated people than I do with my parents. I also know people who feel the same way.

 

So I don't think it's purely or even largely genetic - IMO choices and the people/information you surround yourself with make a much bigger difference.

[Methodical]

Adoptive parents often go through a battery of inquisitions, home checks, background checks, reference checks, spend lots of time and money, do tons of legal paperwork, etc., etc. in order to adopt a child. Yes, they are very much real parents who want children and have jumped through many hoops to get them.

 

Mother Nature def. isn't as selective as adoption agencies are.