zack121 Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Should I send a Birthday card to my ex? anybody done this? I have had NC for 6 months, 10 months since breakup. (To be fair NC for 10 months, I made 4 attempts within the 4 month mark, so hence nothing in 6 months) found out some info today, that the new guy does not spend all his time with her, only stays at her place a few nights a week? they do get away weekends mind you. This is so not like her, as we saw each other everyday? Wondering if she is like ummm not 100% in love with this guy, and its a f((k buddy? (freind of a freind told me) Will sending her a birthday card, be wrong, she did not send me one. I guess I am having a bad day, with this issue. part of me wants her so bad, part of me says forget it, too much pain, part of me says its a pride thing. and maybe she feels the same. I saw a tarot person, and she said, she'll be back in my life... but i am sceptical..prolly indulging in that pityful, wishful thinking/can not be without you phase again. on one hand I could go for it, and have my pride further beaten down, or I could do nothing?? i don't think I am seeing things clearly today I wish to have my pride intact, and be strong, but struggling at present. I hate the thought of her thinking to herself hear he goes again, and I don't want him back.. Better question to ask, possibly is what is the best way to contact somebody after so long? What is a valid situation to do this in? Last letter was christmas, explaining that we may not be suited to each other etc etc, which she then said to my friend when he called her after letter was sent? I am just not sure what to do. walk, or talk? she is a stuborn person, and will stick by her decesions regardless of if it is right/wrong. Sure I made mistakes, but jesus I have paid for them, and alot of them where mirror images of her mistakes anyway funny how when someting bad happens to you, EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU SEEMS BAD! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by zack121 Should I send a Birthday card to my ex? No found out some info today, that the new guy does not spend all his time with her, only stays at her place a few nights a week? they do get away weekends mind you. Why do you care? , as we saw each other everyday? Why? THat is probably one reason why she is your ex. Wondering if she is like ummm not 100% in love with this guy, and its a f((k buddy? (freind of a freind told me) You're probably better off wondering how to find a new woman... I saw a tarot person, and she said, she'll be back in my life... Yes but it may be to file a restraining order against you... Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by zack121 To be fair NC for 10 months, I made 4 attempts within the 4 month mark, so hence nothing in 6 months You chased her a little afterwards... found out some info today, that the new guy does not spend all his time with her, only stays at her place a few nights a week? they do get away weekends mind you. ... and she's with someone new... Will sending her a birthday card, be wrong, she did not send me one. ... and isn't sending you bday cards. For all these reasons, and to stop you looking like a complete wuss, NO. i don't think I am seeing things clearly today It happens to all of us. I hate the thought of her thinking to herself hear he goes again, and I don't want him back.. So don't. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Yes but it may be to file a restraining order against you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author zack121 Posted June 21, 2005 Author Share Posted June 21, 2005 hehehehe LOL at the retraining order post!.... that was funny cheers for that. No it aint that bad... just a bad day I guess... Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by zack121 No it aint that bad... just a bad day I guess... These happen. Chin up and hold on till tomorrow... Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 like everybody else here has said don't send the card only thing you should be thinking about is the healing process head up man it will get better Link to post Share on other sites
mixwell Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Yeah for sure don't send her anything !!! Wow you are about at the same point I am as far as breakup time.. NC for me has only been a month.. I was with my ex for 7 years.. I can gladly say now that I am mostly over it.. It doesn't bother me really anymore.. Just give it up !! Its a lost cause, the sooner you realize the better you will be.. I can't beleive you are still hung up on this chick though.. wow i thought I was bad !! no offense.. hang in there.. Things will get better Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by mixwell I can't beleive you are still hung up on this chick though.. wow i thought I was bad !! no offense.. hang in there.. Things will get better Well, they say at least a year for a deep love... gives you time to get through all the significant dates and holidays by yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Well, they say at least a year for a deep love... gives you time to get through all the significant dates and holidays by yourself. well i guess i am screwed Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by NTB well i guess i am screwed ??? Link to post Share on other sites
rastafari Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 dont do it, you will only be hurting yourself. you came so far, dont fall down again. i agree with alfamale with the comment about she being your ex because you saw her everyday. its so true. me and my ex did the same thing, it got old and burnt the whole relationship up. we didnt have anything to look foward too. same sh*t everyday isnt exciting at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 I sent my ex a birthday card. I even called him and wished him a happy birthday. Know what he did for my birthday?!... NOTHING. He forgot. Don't exert the effort if you think you'll get nothing out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
strange love Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Look I had to go through NC alot my ex. The first time was way back back... (cue time lapse music) It was for 6 weeks.. I was hanging out with a female friend, I was at the point where I bought her a flower and a teddy bear.. And she showed up in front of my shop.. she didnt even take the teddy bear or flower.. we got back for a while then we broke up I waited for one month to contact her I got an angry email back I didnt reply back..as much as I wanted. I too saw someone and they did my tarot and said she would be abck as if it was no big deal and now I think I understand that cause she just keeps popping up after awhile, I never chase her. In any case it took til xmas time for her to pop up again and I had to be the one to message her.. My advice the only person she is expecting a card from is that guy. You can always make it up to her later, did she remember your birthday? probably not NC KING Link to post Share on other sites
mixwell Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 This October will make about a year we have been split up.. its already been my her bday and mine as well a xmas and new years.... I don't think there are any holidays coming up that will bother me.. maybe 4th of july ? I doubt it.. I have also had some things happen good(starting taking a martial arts class) in my life and bad (DUI) and I have done them without her. I feel pretty comfortable on my own.. Not to mention I moved out on my own and its my first time.. So yeah it takes a while but I think I am through all the new things life has to throw at me that would make me really want her to be there for me.. I mean I WAS bummed she couldn't be there for me/with me but o well. Now I can take my time when looking for the next lucky girl and be picky.. haha.. Ok sorry i was rambling on .. Peace Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by mixwell Ok sorry i was rambling on .. Yeah, but it's good to hear a success story. Go Mixwell! Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo ??? you stated it takes like a year to basically get over the ex i was deeply in love with and here i was thinking i would be able to get her out of my head really soon Link to post Share on other sites
Author zack121 Posted June 22, 2005 Author Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by mixwell This October will make about a year we have been split up.. its already been my her bday and mine as well a xmas and new years.... I don't think there are any holidays coming up that will bother me.. maybe 4th of july ? I doubt it.. I have also had some things happen good(starting taking a martial arts class) in my life and bad (DUI) and I have done them without her. I feel pretty comfortable on my own.. Not to mention I moved out on my own and its my first time.. So yeah it takes a while but I think I am through all the new things life has to throw at me that would make me really want her to be there for me.. I mean I WAS bummed she couldn't be there for me/with me but o well. Now I can take my time when looking for the next lucky girl and be picky.. haha.. Ok sorry i was rambling on .. Peace Mine was in Aug, so I am fast approaching the 12 month make, mixwell, I am very similar to you. Alot of first for me too.. I re read some of the posts, and that line about restraining order still cracked me up... Also I did not spend like 100% of the time with her, it was not like we lived out of each others pockets. I had interests, and so did she, but at the end of the day she even went so far as telling me that there was no time for her, It was kinda funny in a way she was said, can;t remember exact words, but something along the lines of I hate you being busy with other things, then I want somebody that is busy at other things. it was a complete backflip. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zack121 Posted June 22, 2005 Author Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by strange love Look I had to go through NC alot my ex. The first time was way back back... (cue time lapse music) It was for 6 weeks.. I was hanging out with a female friend, I was at the point where I bought her a flower and a teddy bear.. And she showed up in front of my shop.. she didnt even take the teddy bear or flower.. we got back for a while then we broke up I waited for one month to contact her I got an angry email back I didnt reply back..as much as I wanted. I too saw someone and they did my tarot and said she would be abck as if it was no big deal and now I think I understand that cause she just keeps popping up after awhile, I never chase her. In any case it took til xmas time for her to pop up again and I had to be the one to message her.. My advice the only person she is expecting a card from is that guy. You can always make it up to her later, did she remember your birthday? probably not NC KING NC KING. Good for you, to be perfectly honest I don't hold much faith in tarot or psycics for that matter, but at the times it felt good. Might make it a post... bore everyone with it!! Link to post Share on other sites
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