JustAGirl Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Hi... was just talking to my bf, he was upset about me going to clubs w/ my dance partner (if u remember my previous posts) He admitted that it is insecurity, about lots of things, not just me. I said i wanna help him get over it, and i rlly do. Any advice on what i can do? I should prolly try and start it with small things... and work it up... I really really wanna help him with this cuz i think this is what causes 99% of our problems... Right now i'm just so happy he realizes he has this problem in his mind. Thanks a lot!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Aside from getting your dance partner to undergo a sex change operation, there really isn't much you can do. Your boyfriend is just insecure and that's really sad because it may destroy your relationship in the longrun. He doesn't want to go with you when you practice with your partner nor does he want to participate in any other way. He just wants to sulk and be jealous. I think that's really sad but just the way it is. Continue doing what makes you happy and encourage your guy to find gal friends to do things with. Maybe it will make him happy to get equal time with a lady friend. Find him one and have them take dance lessons together. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Any advice on what i can do? I should prolly try and start it with small things... and work it up...i think this is what causes 99% of our problems...Right now i'm just so happy he realizes he has this problem in his mind. when you say,"this is what causes 99% of our problems", do you mean he feels insecure because you have a life outside of him? i think it is *great* that you can have a life without him - dancing, parties etc....that is *so* healthy. it's a shame more people don't live their lives like that. now, your freedom and indepedence is not a problem - he's making into a problem. he feels threatened by it, which is not your fault at all. continue to live your own life exactly as you are now, but at the same time, do small things like you said, to show him that you are thinking about him and how you feel for him. maybe with little reminders from you, and doing things together, he will hopefully realise that he has nothing to worry about. you may have other things in your life that don't involve him, but you are 'involved' with him and only him. i hope for your sake he can deal with his insecurities. jealousy and insecurity, 9 times out of 10, will bring a relationship to a screeching halt. they destroy relationships, even potentially great ones, which is such a shame. i hope it all works out for you!! Link to post Share on other sites
JustAGirl Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Thanks =) I do try to do it The problem is/was that i'm generally a tease, so for a while, before i realized how insecure he is, i'd tease a lot... which a confident guy would take np, but apparently not him... Right now i am trying to not tease, and i give him lil presents (like candy, silly things), etc... i decided to give it some time... i'm not breaking this until i'm SURE he can't get over his insecurities. by which point he'll bother me w/ it so much, i'll simply have to run away... Anyway, thanks for your responses, miss mojo! Link to post Share on other sites
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