mjaero Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 My boyfriend of a year broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. We had a lovely relationship and we were both so, so happy. But one day, he decided he didn't want to be in a relationship and wanted to be free and just enjoy himself, and he dumped me out of nowhere. At the time, I was very upset, and begged for him back for a month. Now, I can understand why he might want to be free (since we are both very young) but I am hoping he will come back once he gets it out of his system. It might take months, or even a few years, but I am willing to wait on reconciling until then. It doesn't mean I won't date other people, it just means I will always be holding onto a bit of hope we will be together again. We truly had a great relationship- we had amazing chemistry, we were each others' best friend, and we never had a single fight (other than after the breakup). I cannot think of a single time I was unhappy with him, and I'm hoping eventually he will realize this and feel the same way and consider reconciling. Do you think this is likely, or will he forget about me entirely as more time passes? I have initiated no contact with him, so he can have his space and hopefully he will find his way back to me. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Mmm, nope, he's not coming back. You say you were "so, so happy"......well, obviously he wasn't or he'd still be there. You say you're really young, so here's the good news, there's 7 billion people on the planet and you've got plenty of time - you are going to find someone else. In fact, you may find a few someone else's before you find the one you end up with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mjaero Posted May 10, 2016 Author Share Posted May 10, 2016 You say you were "so, so happy"......well, obviously he wasn't or he'd still be there. By "so, so happy" I meant BOTH of us, not just me. He was happy too and I could tell, and even when I asked him after the breakup he said he was always happy, he just wasn't ready... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Don't for one minute believe it when you say you'll 'wait for him' and will be happy to reconcile further down the line. By all means, hold a special place in your heart for him, as he was your first, but trust me please, when I tell you, that in time, you will develop as a person, he will develop as a person, and you will find your paths diverging. Do not hold yourself back. He has released himself from any obligation to you, because he doesn't want to be with you any more. He may have been happy, but he felt it was not the right place to be, with you. It's a hard lesson to learn, but he's moving on, because he wants to. Waiting for him is not an option, because it's unrealistic. Your notions are currently based entirely on Romanticism, but they're not a reality. Let him go, let yourself go. It's time to move on, write this one up to an early experience, and go out and explore the world at your feet. Keeping one foot nailed to the floor is never a sound option. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 When you go on to date other guys, do you want them to hold a special place for a different girl? Why should it be different for you? Mourn the loss, prepare yourself, and live your life without this anchor holding you back. Being able to go all in on a new relationship might make you even happier than you could believe. Link to post Share on other sites
justagrl07 Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 My boyfriend of a year broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. We had a lovely relationship and we were both so, so happy. But one day, he decided he didn't want to be in a relationship and wanted to be free and just enjoy himself, and he dumped me out of nowhere. At the time, I was very upset, and begged for him back for a month. Now, I can understand why he might want to be free (since we are both very young) but I am hoping he will come back once he gets it out of his system. It might take months, or even a few years, but I am willing to wait on reconciling until then. It doesn't mean I won't date other people, it just means I will always be holding onto a bit of hope we will be together again. We truly had a great relationship- we had amazing chemistry, we were each others' best friend, and we never had a single fight (other than after the breakup). I cannot think of a single time I was unhappy with him, and I'm hoping eventually he will realize this and feel the same way and consider reconciling. Do you think this is likely, or will he forget about me entirely as more time passes? I have initiated no contact with him, so he can have his space and hopefully he will find his way back to me. Yes, of course he can still come back. Mine did (after close to a year) and I for sure thought it was a lost cause. **** happens. Breakups and reconciliations happen all the time. The only way it would work again though if given the chance is to focus on you right now. I am telling you. The minute you focus on rebuilding yourself and hanging out with your friends and doing the things that make you happy is the minute they come back. Sometimes you just need some space. It's only human to want that and to want time to figure yourself out. Let him be. I am sure you both lost your individuality a little bit in that relationship and it is so important not to do that so just for right now FOCUS ON YOU! Also, it sounds to me like he had the green grass syndrome so just give the boy time and space. He'll learn that he can't have what he had with you anywhere else. Just be patient. Link to post Share on other sites
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