Missing sex with ex

[SethDamien]

kudos to one LS forumer who said that if i continue on my current path, it might take me more than one year to get over my ex. Today marks the 27th month after the break up of a 4-yr relationship and im still not coping well - however, things are much better than before

 

Yes i didn't block my ex on social media,

And yes, she already has a new boyfriend.

Yes, i didn't implement strict NC.

She'd contact me from time to time and i cant refuse.

(But hear me out before you judge me)

 

When i try to remember her, i cant recall much of the good times... all i could think about was the sex and how much she's probably having it with her new guy. I'm not sure i still love her. I guess our sexual intimacy was just too mesmerizing for me that i keep replicating it in my thoughts every second of every day.

 

i guess its true we all have that one partner who brought us to the moon and back every time we did it. We weren't just knocking skins, we really made love. She was my first, and she was the best. I did 'get some' with other girls after we parted, but it wasn't really the same with my ex.

 

Do i miss her or do i just miss the sex? I know i should be the one to answer these questions, but i wanna hear from others with similar experiences.

[Bito]

After all this time you still have her on the pedastal?

 

The pain probably feels almost comforting in a weird way by this point right?

 

You don't miss her. You don't miss the sex. You miss the dream. The lovers drunkin fantasy of bliss and contentment. You miss that moment where every thing felt complete. That moment where you feel as though everything is as it should be.

 

That sex was so amazing because your mind built it up. I'm sure she was great but the extatic pleasure moments come when your mind magnifys the inensity from context and associated stimulation. Not anything with her exactly.

 

 

But, your stuck In a rut telling yourself stories hoping to find and salvage some meaning for all that pain you have suffered. Here's the kicker, there is no meaning to it. Love comes, love goes.

 

You need to let her go man.

[SethDamien]

Thanks for your no-BS input @bito.

 

I guess i haven't moved on plain and simple. Just saying it again, not being over her has not been a hindrance to me meeting new girls. But it has hindered me into getting in a new relationship.

 

You do have a point when you said "The pain probably feels almost comforting in a weird way by this point"- let me explain

 

I've never been as successful -in my own terms - as i am now. I've never had the 'executive' privileges i had in my whole career until now. recently im contemplating in getting my MBA as i am about to start my own business. I guess i used the pain to channel my anger into something productive. but it hasnt been helping me move on either. I guess its in a deep seated root inside me trying my best to impress her hoping she would notice. Whenever i gain success (in my own term), i still credit it to the pain she caused and i don't know if its good or bad.

Edited May 10, 2016 by SethDamien

[SixxChick]

Do i miss her or do i just miss the sex? I know i should be the one to answer these questions, but i wanna hear from others with similar experiences.

 

I did a pro and con list. And, boy was it enlightening. 1 pro page, 7 con pages. In the end, sex was all we really had left. So it's perplexing that it is still kind of hard to get over this guy. Oh well ... happy trails!

[RedPurpleOrange]

I miss it, too. It's only been 10 weeks and 2 days for me (not that I'm counting...) Best, most connected sex I've ever had and I miss it deeply. Not just lust but everything, it was unreal and sensual and, know it sounds odd, but our bits fit so perfectly together(!). It always felt good, it always felt 'right', it always was like fire. Hate to think of her with someone else. But at least I know he probably won't be as good as I.

 

 

Pain is awful. Hate it so, so much myself. But it's either gonna be the death of you or a building block that makes you even stronger than you were before. I'm hoping the latter, even if it doesn't always feel that way...like now...when I'm all alone and wanting her body!