YellowPetal Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 I met a guy 6 months ago, and we connected instantly. I don't think I ever felt such a strong physical and emotional connection with another guy in my life. Everything was going well, but due to the dismantlement of his company, he lost his job and had to return to his home country. Although, we were together for 4 months, I felt very attracted to him. I know it's wrong to get so attached to someone so fast, but it's not something I planned. It just happened. I wanted to try the long distance thing, but he was very against it. He cried and told me that was the best decision for him. We decided to stay friends, and we talked every couple of weeks. Anyway, my job took me close to where he lives, and he bought the plane ticket a month in advance, and came to visit me. He told me he just started dating someone (when we saw each other again), but that he still wanted to see me and couldn't cancel his ticket. He mentioned that he just wanted to meet as friends. However, the attraction was too strong and we ended up sleeping together. We spent a few days together. He said he really liked me and that he will always feel attracted to me. Now he wants to stay friends, and I have no idea how to deal with all of this. I think I feel worse than before, after we were forced to break up. I feel so confused about everything that happened between us. I try to stay positive because I know that I will feel better soon. I would really appreciate any kind of advice, or help with understanding what just happened. I wish he had told me he was dating someone before he came to see me. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 It's easy to see why you'd be confused - it's confusing! BF one day, ex the next, f-buddy the day after that .... I think you'd be best off just removing him from your life altogether at this point bc it seems like all you'll likely get are mixed signals, and that's no way to live a happy life. Cut him loose and start dating others again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Have a care here, I've a few thoughts.... Sometimes foreign people can be manipulating and looking for an easy visa. Not saying it's him but it's very common. Strange how you met, big sparks, fireworks then very quickly disaster strikes and he's forced to return home. The exact same pattern occurred with my visa hunter....it makes me suspicious. High drama appears to be following this guy. Beware. Well, how nice of him to rush you in the love department and then sleep with you even though he was supposedly seeing someone else. And now he wants to stay in touch? Why? What reason do you possibly have to staying in touch with someone you can't be with? No matter what the truth of the matter is the facts are.... - You can't be together. You just can't. You live in separate countries and he's said no to LDR. - The less contact you have with him now the better for you. You don't need someone confusing you from a long distance and preventing you from being invested in someone local and decent. - Do the right thing for yourself. Rip that bandaid off now, it will hurt and you'll second guess yourself. But give it a few months and you'll hardly remember what all the fuss was about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YellowPetal Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Thank you for your kind words. I had a strong urge to talk to him, and tell him how I feel, but I don't think he can give me the emotional support I need right now. I wish he had told me he is dating someone before meeting me because I would have never agreed to see him. I managed to heal when he left the country, but since we met again, I feel so much worse. I have awful nightmares and I lost some weight. Thank you again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YellowPetal Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Have a care here, I've a few thoughts.... Sometimes foreign people can be manipulating and looking for an easy visa. Not saying it's him but it's very common. Strange how you met, big sparks, fireworks then very quickly disaster strikes and he's forced to return home. The exact same pattern occurred with my visa hunter....it makes me suspicious. High drama appears to be following this guy. Beware. Well, how nice of him to rush you in the love department and then sleep with you even though he was supposedly seeing someone else. And now he wants to stay in touch? Why? What reason do you possibly have to staying in touch with someone you can't be with? No matter what the truth of the matter is the facts are.... - You can't be together. You just can't. You live in separate countries and he's said no to LDR. - The less contact you have with him now the better for you. You don't need someone confusing you from a long distance and preventing you from being invested in someone local and decent. - Do the right thing for yourself. Rip that bandaid off now, it will hurt and you'll second guess yourself. But give it a few months and you'll hardly remember what all the fuss was about. I have to agree with the second part of your message. I think I´d like to be his friend sometimes in the future, but now it´s too painful, so I´ll just stop talking to him altogether. He actually lost a very high standing job due to the oil and gas crisis in my city. He was devastated, and both of us cried when he had to leave. I don´t know, everything is so confusing for me right now, but I think you´re right, and I know I´ll feel so much better by the end of the summer. I just need to be patient and focus on the positive. Thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Sounds to me like he is just not that into you. Link to post Share on other sites
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