The end of LDR ..... He wants me to be happy?

[Laurenjade]

Your junkie mind is suffering withdrawals and you can't stand the silence so you want to poke him for a reaction. You don't need for him to officially end it. It's ended because you don't desire being treated poorly.

 

Stop looking for excuses to make contact. And stop chasing someone that dismissed you so quickly and didn't care to protect your feelings.

 

Thank you. Genuinely. I needed to hear that! My friends have started telling me what I want to hear. But THATS what I needed.

[266696687]

Thank you. Genuinely. I needed to hear that! My friends have started telling me what I want to hear. But THATS what I needed.

 

Yeah I'm so sorry you are suffering but chasing after this guy who has treated you so badly isn't in your best interest.

 

His attitude stinks. He is not only a cheat but a manipulator. Instead of chasing after you apologizing for forgiveness he has turned the situation around so you feel the need to chase after him. 'I can't talk to you. I've hurt you" - absolute rubbish. He is just sorry he got caught. If he was genuinely sorry you'd know about it. He dismissed you. He doesnt care about you or your feelings at all.

 

Do not reach out to him. In fact you should block and delete him.

 

He is a waste of space.

Edited May 9, 2016 by 266696687

[kidm]

DO NOT send him any messages. What a douchebag! What do you do in response? You do the same. You fall off his radar, hell you fall off the face of the earth, and all he hears are crickets chirping in the distance on a silent night. I wouldn't be surprised if he is expecting you to blow up his phone (even though he is the one at fault. The audacity!).

 

Your silence tells him that you’re okay giving him space and that he's not that incredibly important to you and you will not tolerate mediocre treatment. Being alone is okay with you and besides, there are others out there who want your time as well, so this really isn't a big deal. You have other options and your strong, emotionally.

 

He's a complete tool!

[d0nnivain]

What's the purpose of contacting him? And why wait?

 

 

Why do you need the words to know it's over? He was messaging other women & he didn't even have the good grace to formally break up with you. He deserves no common courtesy because he didn't give you any.

 

 

You know it's over. Act like it. Just get on with your life. Delete him & block him from all social media & candy crush type games

[Laurenjade]

What's the purpose of contacting him? And why wait?

 

 

Why do you need the words to know it's over? He was messaging other women & he didn't even have the good grace to formally break up with you. He deserves no common courtesy because he didn't give you any.

 

 

You know it's over. Act like it. Just get on with your life. Delete him & block him from all social media & candy crush type games

 

He's deleted & blocked from everything. I can't figure out how to delete him off my candy crush, because he's not on my Facebook anymore?!

[ALL OR NOTHING]

I've been NC with my 'ex' for the last 17 days. To cut a long story short - I found out that he had been messaging another woman behind my back, when I pulled him up on it, he started off with saying 'I can't talk to you, I've hurt you and I can't deal with that', then after 3 rejected calls, I said 'I take it that's us done then' he replied 'if you want me to tell you we're done, you're going the right way about it', so I told him I'd drive over to talk face to face & he put 'don't waste your time. If you do that, then we're definitely over' after I ignored that he put 'I just need space. I'm working and this isn't helping'. I've heard nothing from him since apart from him sending me candy crush lives?! I'm tempted to text him the end of the week when it will be 3 weeks since he never officially ended it! I'm treating it as a break up and was thinking of putting something like 'I never wanted our relationship to end in such a negative way, as I don't feel the time we had together warranted that. Clearly your silence shows me where we stand and I don't need to go over it but I'm too old for enemies'

 

What do people think??

 

I think you need to find a real man , one that once he cheats on you he doesn't blame it on you?

 

Do not ever text him again lol block his number block his Facebook and realize that there actually are nice guys out there just waiting to melt your mind and body with there incredibleness. NC forever!

[gimlynick]

He's deleted & blocked from everything. I can't figure out how to delete him off my candy crush, because he's not on my Facebook anymore?!

 

 

 

Simple: delete candy crush :-)

It's not that much of a big deal...

 

I'm sorry that your ex is such a douchebag, he used you.

 

I hope you move on soon, you deserve someone who actually cares for you.

[Laurenjade]

Yesterday my LD ex got in contact with me. After 17 days NC. We were together every other weekend, up until that. He sent a message apologising for running away from the situation, but what happened between us had pushed him over the edge, I'll always be very special to him and he's heartbroken someone came between us and broke us. He's never loved anyone like he loves me. The distance doesn't help with the trust issue, he was messaging another girl on social media, in all innocence?! He thinks if we kept it up id not be happy and that's all he wants. The distance would always be a huge issue, especially with his job. (He travels up to 500KM a week, then back at home at weekends to have his kids.) if he didn't have his kids, he'd relocate in a heartbeat to be with me. I also have kids, and a job and a life here.

We exchanged very pleasant messages, and he said I always put a smile on his face, and he's glad he text as he's really missed our connection & at least we can text now. I got 2 emojis of ���� at the end of the conversation.

Today I feel numb. this man was my world for 4 years. The distance didn't matter to me because in the end I had him.

Edited May 10, 2016 by Laurenjade
Spelling!

[Zahara]

It's funny when they cheat and they get caught, they then have a ton of excuses of why it wasn't going to work, etc. If all that was a concern for him, he could have ended the relationship with you. If he realized the relationship wasn't going to make you happy, then end it -- don't cheat. No one came in between and broke you two up -- he broke you two up by choosing to cheat. If someone is going to apologize, then apologize and be accountable for their bad behavior but not blame it on interferences.

 

I'm not sure why you are communicating with someone that treated you so badly, just because he's now decided to be pleasant and nice to you. If anything, you're teaching him that he can butter you over with a few niceties and you're right there catering to his words.

 

He's a piece of work. Hopefully in time you'll be able to see the reality of who he really is.

[le_20]

Do you want him back?

If so, apply NC for 30 days and don't break it.( you already broke it after 17 days, so now restart)

NC is really helpful, you can search for exboyfriend recovery on google and there are lots of tips.

I never believed in relationship expert until I found his site, he gave lots of insight about NC rule (for free) and I applied it to my long distance ex, now we get back together and our long distance will end in 10 months.

 

I can feel that you love him from your post and deep down you do want to be with him. Think about what will help to end your long distance, either you move to his state or he moves to your state, or you both moves to a new place.

 

Give him 30 days, no contact (no message, no calls, no likes no comment on social media...) and let him has his space to rethink his decision. I think he still wants to keep you around, if you accept it, then probably hard to get back to committed relationship again.

[gemini6]

Please don't get sucked back in to the BS. If he really wants you back..make him work for it, make him prove it, make him cry. Go no contact, if he really loves you he will show up at your door on his knees begging, with a ring and a plan- anything short of that is just breadcrumbs to keep you in the wings "just in case" things don't work out with his new honey...don't you dare let yourself be the "backup plan"! 4 or 5 years is long enough for someone to decide whether or not they want to spend the rest of their life with you.

If he doesn't show up....let him go!

I'm sorry girl, I know it's hard!!

[trippi1432]

Yesterday my LD ex got in contact with me. After 17 days NC. We were together every other weekend, up until that. He sent a message apologising for running away from the situation, but what happened between us had pushed him over the edge, I'll always be very special to him and he's heartbroken someone came between us and broke us. He's never loved anyone like he loves me. The distance doesn't help with the trust issue, he was messaging another girl on social media, in all innocence?! He thinks if we kept it up id not be happy and that's all he wants. The distance would always be a huge issue, especially with his job. (He travels up to 500KM a week, then back at home at weekends to have his kids.) if he didn't have his kids, he'd relocate in a heartbeat to be with me. I also have kids, and a job and a life here.

We exchanged very pleasant messages, and he said I always put a smile on his face, and he's glad he text as he's really missed our connection & at least we can text now. I got 2 emojis of ���� at the end of the conversation.

Today I feel numb. this man was my world for 4 years. The distance didn't matter to me because in the end I had him.

 

LaurenJade, if anything, you found closure. That's all this is, closure.

 

Understandably, you had four years with this man and, understandably, you loved him with everything you had..........what we forget to do when things like this happen, very simply, is love ourselves.

 

In this situation, I would take everything I gave and give it back to something far more important.........MYSELF. The love, the caring, the understanding and the empathy, we give those things freely. But sometimes we forget to give them to ourselves. Never forget, you deserve better than how this ended. You have closure, NC should come easier now and block him for you.

 

He's had time to think of excuses, while not excusing the boundaries that his behavior took. Don't forget or excuse the fact that his thinking was probably already on those same lines about your relationship when he started chatting up another woman. He has shown his true colors, that's all you need to know now.

 

Speaking of, if you have blocked him on FB, simply uninstall Candy Crush and reinstall the app, then connect it back to FB. Viola, anyone you have blocked should not show up any more.

 

Big Hugs and please do take the 30 days NC for you.