lilmoma1973 Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 hey all i have a ? Do men forget look at a wedding anniversary as another day? I was wondering this because today is my 8 yr anniversary and i didn't even get a "Happy Anniversary " from my h .. It is now lunch and he is yet to call and im not going to remind him what day it is!! Maybe it doesn't mean that much to men as it does to women... i don't know just curious on someones opinion.. How can you forget the happiest day of your life ? i don't get it.. Maybe he was running late for work and forgot who knows.. I am a little hurt by it .. I guess women are more emotional than men ... Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 When I was married I could never remember the date of my anniversary, or my EXH's date of birth.. I didn't do it to be mean or anything.. I just tend to get distracted or whatever and honestly never did it to hurt his feelings.. I did remember eventually... Hope your hubby remembers... but I would give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he forgot not because he doesn't care about but it was just an honest mistake... Happy Aniversay Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Maybe men don't consider it the happiest day of their lives. I don't think I would if I were to get married. It's a ceremony. An expensive one. To be honest, I think I will cherish the day I graduated from college more than the day I got married, because college is about accomplishment. More men are geared toward this type of thinking. What's that saying? Something like how women to men are punctuation in a sentence, but men to women are the entire sentence. In other words, he may be happy with you, but being married to you isn't the whole of his existence. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by lilmoma1973 hey all i have a ? Do men forget look at a wedding anniversary as another day? I was wondering this because today is my 8 yr anniversary and i didn't even get a "Happy Anniversary " from my h .. It is now lunch and he is yet to call and im not going to remind him what day it is!! Maybe it doesn't mean that much to men as it does to women... i don't know just curious on someones opinion.. How can you forget the happiest day of your life ? i don't get it.. Maybe he was running late for work and forgot who knows.. I am a little hurt by it .. I guess women are more emotional than men ... Unfortunately (some)men tend not to remember stuff like that. They SHOULD, but they don't. It does mean something to them, but just in a different way. It's up to you to decide if you want to make an issue out of it or not. How your husband in general? Do you have a good marriage? Does he do nice thing for you, does he make you feel good? Look for at actions as a whole, instead of one day of not remembering your wedding anniversary. My husband just doesn't remember stuff like that. I accept that and I DO remind him, more than once. He would forget my birthday too, if I didn't remind him afew days before. I think it's funny actually. Plan something nice anyway, he'll appreciate it and then just tell him he has organize an I.O.U evening planned by him! Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa Something like how women to men are punctuation in a sentence, but men to women are the entire sentence. Period pains? Sentence for life? Dates are generally less special to guys. My own birthday I can take or leave... But you know what they say: the best way for a guy to remember his anniversary... ... is to forget it once Link to post Share on other sites
UltimateZen Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 I think it is normal for guys to forget days; it does not mean they are not important. In fact I have to schedule reminders on my phone to tell me whose birthdays/anniversaries/etc are coming up. I have it pretty easy though, because my fiance and I have made it easy on ourselves for remembering dates: 13. That is it. Both our birthdays fall on the 13th, our lucky number is 13, we even have our wedding on the 13th. Hopefully when it is time for kids we will plan just right to have them on the 13th. Buy your h a pocket PC and schedule these important dates...then both of you will be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted June 21, 2005 Author Share Posted June 21, 2005 hey all thanks for all the posts.. i will give him the benefit of the doubt .. it just bothers me that he would forget .. he never has before!! i will not remind him .. i never forget important dates.. he just had his bday and i didn't forget his bday on father's day!! thanks for the happy anniversary Merin i don't expect his whole existance to be our marriage Teresa but at least he could make it known with a "Happy Anniversary " not asking for the world just a simple two words.. to know i matter to him and he is glad to be married to me!! Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 At least a week or two before an anniversary or birthday I'm asking what we're doing, or telling what I want haha. Although, my ex did forget Mother's Day one year - that really hurt and my kids were only 1 and 3. He felt like crap and I got really upset. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by lilmoma1973 at least he could make it known with a "Happy Anniversary " not asking for the world just a simple two words.. to know i matter to him and he is glad to be married to me!! If he shows it the rest of the year, does it really matter? Besides, the day is barely half over. Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 I'm not sure how I'd feel about that, but I do know that my husband has mostly only the vaguest of ideas about dates. He knows roughly when everything is (what month), but went so far as to confuse my b-day with an ex's bday once (oopsie), at which time I realized it's better if he forgets altogether than remembers me as someone else! Tell him Happy Anniversary first & then sit back and enjoy the show as he spends the day rushing around for a gift if he did forget. You can enjoy the comedy rather than brew a resentment. Guys are quite hilarious when they're trying to cover a forget. Think jewelry. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by New_Wife Tell him Happy Anniversary first & then sit back and enjoy the show as he spends the day rushing around for a gift if he did forget. You can enjoy the comedy rather than brew a resentment. Link to post Share on other sites
friskywife Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 My hubby is horrible with dates!! Its like his ADHD, its just one of those things that makes him who he is! As a matter of fact, as a joke I had our annivesary engraved on the inside of his wedding band. Even though its there I know unless I say "Hey, our anniversary is in 2 days" he wouldn't have a clue! lilmoma1973, I'm curious as to what happened when your hubby came home last night ! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Merin When I was married I could never remember the date of my anniversary, or my EXH's date of birth.. I didn't do it to be mean or anything.. I just tend to get distracted or whatever and honestly never did it to hurt his feelings.. I did remember eventually... Hope your hubby remembers... but I would give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he forgot not because he doesn't care about but it was just an honest mistake... Happy Aniversay Me TOO! I totally forget people's birthdays all the time. I forgot father's day completely. I forgot mother's day. I don't send out cards. I'm just not in that mode. Unless I have a reminder pop up on my calendar at work it just does not exist. Some people are just like that I think. It's not that they're self-centered, they focus on other things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted June 23, 2005 Author Share Posted June 23, 2005 Hey all , Thanks for all the replies.. h called me and told me happpy anniversary at 3 that day .. when he came home we went out to eat and ate mexican food.. i made the post because he usually wakes me up to tell me and he didn't and we had a spat the night before so i thought he was punishing me .. thanks again .. he said he would get me something this weekend when he gets paid and i said i don't need nothing .. Link to post Share on other sites
Isabelle Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 At least it worked out. It is better, though, to acknowledge those days early in the day. Let him buy you something if he feels like it... doesn't have to be expensive, but I think maybe it helps for a guy to have nice things he can do for you. I forgot my own anniversary one time. Embarrassing. We were out of town, at my parents' house, and it was hard to remember the date. I think my parents mentioned it to me first and I was like, "oh s***". I should have run out right then and bought a card, but didn't think I had time. I apologized to my husband, but didn't end up actually getting the card until months later. (we had problems) My husband didn't do much for my birthday this year... I know he had to work, but he said, "happy birthday" at the beginning of the day and that was it. No other mentions of what day it was. A card two days later, and no presents or dinners until weeks after that. (to be fair, part of it was our schedules, but he could have done something in the meantime) I've always tried to celebrate his birthday with a whole weekend of fun, and other stuff on the actual day as well. I think it was just never a big deal in his family. As a couple, though, you need to decide what expectations you have. If someone loves their partner, they should want to make them happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted June 23, 2005 Author Share Posted June 23, 2005 hey isabelle, all couples have their ups and downs but that shouldn't be just cause for forgetting a birthday or anniversary .. i totally understand though what you are saying.. we have had our ups and downs and we are learning each day that you gotta give affection and attention to one another everyday can't be once in a while.. i think thats where we have had our faults lately and letting everyone else be our problems like ss and inlaws .. thanks again for your reply Link to post Share on other sites
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