Author yepsurething Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 my husband just called and said he's taking the car in for an inspection. I hope they don't find the recorder It's hidden in the headrest. do they check that area at all? ugh. he said he was taking it next week at first and I was going to not put it in that day. anyone ever have their recorder found?? Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 my husband just called and said he's taking the car in for an inspection. I hope they don't find the recorder It's hidden in the headrest. do they check that area at all? ugh. he said he was taking it next week at first and I was going to not put it in that day. anyone ever have their recorder found?? Can you go to wherever it is before he picks it up and tell them you need to get some mail or something you left? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yepsurething Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 Can you go to wherever it is before he picks it up and tell them you need to get some mail or something you left? no =( an hour away and I don't have a car. do you think they'll check the headrest? Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 No. If the inspection is engine or function related, they will not. If he is getting the car detailed, (thouroughly cleaned, inside and out) they would notice. Why so far away for a inspection? Are you that rural? Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Only ones who are *********s... Oh come on... guys being crude for the sake of comedy is our birthright. Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Oh come on... guys being crude for the sake of comedy is our birthright. You really do not want to open this can of worms. But agreed that perhaps it is that insensitive, disgusting thing that men do with each other and pass off as guytalk. My H wouldn't dare and would criticize another man for doing it, which is not worth much to me and probably proves your point about how important it is whether they do or don't do it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yepsurething Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 As I listen to the recording it sounds like maybe he's saying he has had sex with her. the wording is "she's pretty, doesnt carry much fat, looks athletic and she can f#ck like a racehorse." at first I thought he was saying she looked like she could 'f like a racehorse' now as I listen he's saying she does 'f like a racehorse. =( Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 As I listen to the recording it sounds like maybe he's saying he has had sex with her. the wording is "she's pretty, doesnt carry much fat, looks athletic and she can f#ck like a racehorse." at first I thought he was saying she looked like she could 'f like a racehorse' now as I listen he's saying she does 'f like a racehorse. =( Unless he is talking about you, I think maybe the VAR being discovered at this point is moot, YST. Do you know who he is talking about? Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) VAR's are tricky. Sound quality is not usually the best. ...and women talk about crude things as well when their husband is not present - and sometimes when he is. This includes comments on attractiveness of coworkers or ex's- body parts, sex.... and complaints about their spouses. I mentioned you may (or may not) find cheating when spying ... but spying comprehensively can be like getting into your spouses head or their random thoughts - not always pleasant to hear - nor always meaningful. People vent, and bullS!$T to others about sex and marriage and relationship - even politics and other things in ways they don't in front of their spouses. You have to take what you record or read from your spouse with a grain of salt and decide where you cut them slack - where the boundary is for you. Edited June 16, 2016 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
Author yepsurething Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 yes, his coworker said he wanted to get dirty with a woman they work with, my husband said, go ahead, I give you permission to have at it, but that one is crazy. your'e free to proceed. then said, she is pretty, she doesn't look like she carries a lot of fat, she looks like she's athletic and she can f#ck like a racehorse. what a pig. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 and no the car place is not going to move, or take out any person items in the car. I leave all sorts of junk in our cars - and they would have no idea they were looking at a VAR anyway (if you got the right type). Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Smoking gun Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Keep recording - keep being nice at home for now. I still dont see the specific words so far. My two cents. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 yes, his coworker said he wanted to get dirty with a woman they work with, my husband said, go ahead, I give you permission to have at it, but that one is crazy. your'e free to proceed. then said, she is pretty, she doesn't look like she carries a lot of fat, she looks like she's athletic and she can f#ck like a racehorse. what a pig. Maybe so, but still no proof he is cheating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yepsurething Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 Maybe so, but still no proof he is cheating. well, if he's saying she can f like a race horse, how would he know that if he wasn't with her? Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 IMO, if you record any person without their knowledge for any length of time, you will hear stuff that will make you think less of that person. It's pretty much inevitable. It's unfortunate you heard your husband say that, but you have to keep it in perspective. You would never record him 24/7 if you didn't think he was cheating. If you hear evidence of him having cheated, then that is that. But if you're going to hold every other thing you hear him say over the time period against him, even if it's ****ty to say, then you'd might as well just divorce him now and not even bother to find out if he cheated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sabella Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) well, if he's saying she can f like a race horse, how would he know that if he wasn't with her? I think for what you posted, he said "she doesn't LOOK like she carries a lot of fat and she LOOKS like she's athletic and Fs like a racehorse" If he had been with her, he would know these things and not be pontificating. Now if he said "she doesn't carry a lot of fat and is athletic and F's like a racehorse." That's a different scenario to me. Not saying he isn't cheating, but this isn't the proof you need. Edited June 16, 2016 by Sabella Typos make me crazy 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 "A lot of attention has been focused on the pain of discovering an affair, but very little on the pain of suspecting it. Only about twenty percent of the women whose husbands are having affairs ever find out for sure. That leaves eighty percent of us who supposedly don't know and therefore "can't be hurt." But we do hurt. It becomes a silent, creeping cancer that affects everything we do. It's always there—the fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty, and the enormous drain on our pride." From "Beyond Affairs" by James and Peggy Vaughn. Free PDF here dearpeggy.com/book-pdfs/beyond-affairs.pdf 3 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 When he gets the car back - just check and see if the recorder is still there. Most likely they didn't see it. They make some that look like pens - that way they are less obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yepsurething Posted June 17, 2016 Author Share Posted June 17, 2016 I think for what you posted, he said "she doesn't LOOK like she carries a lot of fat and she LOOKS like she's athletic and Fs like a racehorse" If he had been with her, he would know these things and not be pontificating. Now if he said "she doesn't carry a lot of fat and is athletic and F's like a racehorse." That's a different scenario to me. Not saying he isn't cheating, but this isn't the proof you need. He said the latter Link to post Share on other sites
Sabella Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 He said the latter Well then that is a problem. I am sorry to hear that. What will you do next? Try and get more detail? Quite honestly, you don't even need to prove much of anything, if you aren't happy and you don't trust him, you need to decide if you want to work it out or kick it to the curb. Not sure how long I would want to be in sleuth mode, that would be emotionally exhausting at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yepsurething Posted June 17, 2016 Author Share Posted June 17, 2016 Well then that is a problem. I am sorry to hear that. What will you do next? Try and get more detail? Quite honestly, you don't even need to prove much of anything, if you aren't happy and you don't trust him, you need to decide if you want to work it out or kick it to the curb. Not sure how long I would want to be in sleuth mode, that would be emotionally exhausting at some point. I do want to get detail in case I am misunderstanding. and i know you'll hear what you hear when you record someone, but I can't imagine saying things like that about a male coworker personally. but men and women are different so maybe its just the way guys talk. and the insults about me are pretty hard to hear for sure. especially because we are spending close time together talking and sharing and he's telling me how he loves me then laughs about what I say to his friend. at the same time I want to punch him for the crap he's saying, Im glad to get insight into who he really is and see if this is the person I really want to be with. and it is exhausting worrying and wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yepsurething Posted June 17, 2016 Author Share Posted June 17, 2016 so, at one point in the conversation my husband gives permission to his friend to 'have at it' with a female coworker. he says - "I give you permission to have at it, you are free to proceed, I want to know about it, I want details" then proceeds to say ' Uh she is pretty, she doesn't look like she carries a lot of fat, she looks like she's athletic and she can f*ck like a racehorse. is he giving permission because he had her first? or do guys give each other the go ahead on women they both want or find attractive? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 so, at one point in the conversation my husband gives permission to his friend to 'have at it' with a female coworker. he says - "I give you permission to have at it, you are free to proceed, I want to know about it, I want details" then proceeds to say ' Uh she is pretty, she doesn't look like she carries a lot of fat, she looks like she's athletic and she can f*ck like a racehorse. is he giving permission because he had her first? or do guys give each other the go ahead on women they both want or find attractive? I don't know it may be just banter, I can see me saying to a friend jokingly, I give you permission to go after that hot guy, when he has nothing to do with me whatsoever, OR I give you permission to go after that hot guy as I have already had him OR carry on if you really like him and I''ll find someone else. I don't think without context you can really say what he means. YOU just need to keep listening here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I can't imagine saying things like that about a male coworker personally. but men and women are different so maybe its just the way guys talk. and the insults about me are pretty hard to hear for sure. . Women do talk about guys, my wife did a few times, not often but she did. Difficult and upsetting to hear sexist talk - but it happens among all sexes. Yes its difficult to hear. Keep checking to make sure what he has (or is) up to. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts