Cell phone question [updated]

[yepsurething]

yeah, Audacity can be complicated.

 

After a couple of searches varying the keywords, I got mostly do it yourself sites, but there were 2-3 that will do it for you —

- audio-cleaning-online.com (submit a request; they send a quote);

- airgig,com;

- freelancers.com.

 

Don't know how long it would take. Good luck.

 

airgig and freelancers dont show up for me?

[Lobe]

is he giving permission because he had her first? or do guys give each other the go ahead on women they both want or find attractive?

 

I think the problem is that you don't know with any certainty which female coworker they are talking about. Beyond that, it's as likely all you have heard is a conversation between two guys being crude as him giving permission because he already has intimate knowledge of her stamina. It's all speculation still at this point.

 

You might want to read dearpeggy.com/book-pdfs/beyond-affairs.pdf - I personally hated the format and style of the book but there was some fascinating insight to male bonding over affairs in there...

[merrmeade]

airgig and freelancers dont show up for me?

Most of these are online marketplace sites that connect clients with professionals. There are all kinds of sites for freelance professionals - in architecture, editing, music mixing, audio editing (what you want), etc. - to list their services.

• Here's one for audio editing freelancers.
  
• Got this one searching "noise removal" on airgigs, which is mostly by/for musicians.

Be sure and read the rates carefully and see where they're from; rates are usually better in certain countries. $10 per 10 minutes of audio is pretty good, for example.

[Poutrew]

It's my belief that if girls could listen to the way boys really talk when they know their women aren't around, most women would be lesbian I think you are getting a taste of that right now. I can remember when I was in high school, I would make up relationships with women, which I would go into great detail over with my guy friends, so they wouldn't know the truth of how inexperienced I really was. If it were the truth, my d*ck ought to have fallen off due to overuse... but I was lying my arse off. I suspect the stories my pals regaled me with were all lies as well... In order to suss out the truth from the fibs, you need to keep on listening. You need hard evidence... facts. You need for him to say something like, " Last Thursday, I told wifey I was going to go to the store to get some beer, but I went over to Ingrid' s instead, and she put a bite mark on my ass that I was sure wifey would divorce me over, but I have so far kept it hidden and in another week it ought to be gone. I told Ingrid No More Teeth, Ha Ha Ha." Then, look at his Bum. Now you have your proof.... btw, that was how I busted a former girlfriend. She didn't know about the bite mark the other guy put on her butt...

[merrmeade]

Regarding what you heard: My first inclination is to think it's because he 'had' her first, but the question to answer is - On what basis is he granting this 'permission'? If it's because he had her first and that's an understood hands-off situation? Or is it because of their work relationship, i.e., your husband's 'over' the other person and on that basis jokingly gives the other person permission to do this (too). Or is it just making a joke in general that he gives permission? The question is what is their understanding (the two talking). I'd think it's the kind of thing you can only discern by hearing it.

[66Charger]

If after a week, the only conversation you have captured, is with his friends, then perhaps you need to acknowledge that and search in another direction. The conversations so far are confusing. She can f like a race horse is not the same as it Looks like she can f like a racehorse. You have gone back and forth on this.

 

Fact: If he actively had a OW, he would have talked to her by now. After a week, have you heard him talk to another woman? After 2 weeks, if he hasnt, there is no active PA/EA. Doesnt mean there wasnt.

 

Give it a little more time, but if the present is not providing any info, (no woman) get rid of the VAR, look into the past (emails/text history) or accept what you have so far. Nothing.

[Cinnamonstix]

If after a week, the only conversation you have captured, is with his friends, then perhaps you need to acknowledge that and search in another direction. The conversations so far are confusing. She can f like a race horse is not the same as it Looks like she can f like a racehorse. You have gone back and forth on this.

 

Fact: If he actively had a OW, he would have talked to her by now. After a week, have you heard him talk to another woman? After 2 weeks, if he hasnt, there is no active PA/EA. Doesnt mean there wasnt.

 

Give it a little more time, but if the present is not providing any info, (no woman) get rid of the VAR, look into the past (emails/text history) or accept what you have so far. Nothing.

 

Just because he doesn't call her up while driving doesn't mean they don't talk on the phone.

 

Or, just because they don't talk on the phone, doesn't mean they don't talk. They could be more into texting than phone calls. Let's not forget that hubby is very possessive of his phone and won't let OP see it, so there is likely something there.

[merrmeade]

Just because he doesn't call her up while driving doesn't mean they don't talk on the phone.

 

Or, just because they don't talk on the phone, doesn't mean they don't talk. They could be more into texting than phone calls. Let's not forget that hubby is very possessive of his phone and won't let OP see it, so there is likely something there.

Which brings us back full circle: Why IS he so protective of his phone?

[66Charger]

Ive been married for about 18 years. Porn has always been an issue in our marriage, and I know there are differing opinions, but regardless this has been an issue for me/us.

 

My husband acts very suspiciously with his phone and I always just assume its because he is hiding porn.

 

up until about 2 months ago I didn't have password,

 

Original post. First suspicion porn. 2nd relevant fact, password received 2 months ago.

 

Either its porn or the EA/PA has been over for at least 2 months. He may be concerned about a inadvertant phone call, but after 2-3 weeks, if he isnt talking to a woman, there probaly isnt one.(presently) 1+1 = 2

 

I could be wrong, but VARs usually produce results in days, sometimes hours if placed in a car. I am not saying he is innocent, I am suggesting she is too late for a VAR or its something else. Give it some time, but look in a different direction also.

Edited June 18, 2016 by 66Charger

[elaine567]

Fact: If he actively had a OW, he would have talked to her by now. After a week, have you heard him talk to another woman? After 2 weeks, if he hasnt, there is no active PA/EA. Doesnt mean there wasnt.

 

Give it a little more time, but if the present is not providing any info, (no woman) get rid of the VAR, look into the past (emails/text history) or accept what you have so far. Nothing.

 

We are assuming he didn't find that VAR.

If I was having an affair and I swept my car for VARS and taping devices, I may very well leave the device in place, I would never speak to "my" OM in the car, I may make a point of speaking to work colleagues and friends to avert suspicion though. If I can learn these things on LS, I am sure those that ARE cheating can learn them too.

 

In LS we always assume that the MM/MW are totally unaware of the lengths some BSs will go to track them, we assume that they are naive and if cheating will get caught and if nothing is found they are innocent...

Some of these people are highly intelligent and internet savvy and have been cheating for years and years and are determined NOT to get caught. Finding nothing is no proof of anything unfortunately.

[66Charger]

Well if he found it and made stupid racehorce comments, he aint too bright.

 

Either way, If he found it, that adds to the argument that the VAR isnt producing much. As I said, give it some time, but if today isnt producing results, look at yesterday.

 

Hopefully, my point is understood and no one thinks I am saying he is 100% innocent.

[yepsurething]

Ok. So I've only had theVAR in the car for about a week. The first 3 days i couldnt make out much .The recorder seems to only get the first half of his day.

 

When he talks about the female coworker who f's like a racehorse...I know who she is. My husband oversees her agency and trains her regularly.

 

The other women who I originally suspected by finding emails I'm sure had something going on now.

 

Most recent conversation is my husband saying how awkward it is working with her because she won't answer emails etc.

 

His friend says...she's depressed cause you dumped her.

 

Husband replies...huh. yeah dumped her.

 

And..I've been keeping a journal of this. He recently went to the f' like a race horse workers town and those days he acted funny. I wrote that down...and I swear he smelled like sex and coconut. I wrote that down. Our kids even noticed the smell of coconut.

 

I'm going to keep recording until I hear more details I know he won't tell me.

[VeveCakes]

Ugh, I'm so sorry. Sounds like there was something at some point. Like don't they have anything else to talk about?

[Cinnamonstix]

Ok. So I've only had theVAR in the car for about a week. The first 3 days i couldnt make out much .The recorder seems to only get the first half of his day.

 

When he talks about the female coworker who f's like a racehorse...I know who she is. My husband oversees her agency and trains her regularly.

 

The other women who I originally suspected by finding emails I'm sure had something going on now.

 

Most recent conversation is my husband saying how awkward it is working with her because she won't answer emails etc.

 

His friend says...she's depressed cause you dumped her.

 

Husband replies...huh. yeah dumped her.

 

And..I've been keeping a journal of this. He recently went to the f' like a race horse workers town and those days he acted funny. I wrote that down...and I swear he smelled like sex and coconut. I wrote that down. Our kids even noticed the smell of coconut.

 

I'm going to keep recording until I hear more details I know he won't tell me.

 

It's starting to sound like your husband is a serial cheater who is making his rounds with women opportunistically. Ugh. If so, this isn't a man who got swept up into something one time, it's a man who purposely sets out do this and may very well live a double life with you.

[goodyblue]

The people here are trying to be helpful. But please don't let them fuel your fire. PLEASE, use helpful information but don't let anyone steer you into believing things that May not be true. Please come to your own conclusions.

 

I hope you find your answers soon.

[dichotomy]

I don't know your financial resources, but if you strongly suspect he is visiting the actual home (or homes) of his affair partner - hire a Private investigate to find out. There are also GPS trackers that can be hid in a car as well, but PI will find out quick. People here have posted good clear results with a PI.

 

The words from his friend "you dumped her" are very incriminating.

[Lobe]

His friend says...she's depressed cause you dumped her

 

is there any way for you to contact her? If she was dumped she might be willing to help you..

[S2B]

I would have a difficult time staying one more day with a jerk like that.

 

Do you have resources to move right away?

[yepsurething]

Just because he doesn't call her up while driving doesn't mean they don't talk on the phone.

 

Or, just because they don't talk on the phone, doesn't mean they don't talk. They could be more into texting than phone calls. Let's not forget that hubby is very possessive of his phone and won't let OP see it, so there is likely something there.

 

and he is still guarding his phone and won't leave it for a moment, and I had managed to get a tracking program working on his phone but now it stopped so I think he figured that out.

 

and this is the biggest issue. I can't explain how superior and 'good' my husband always tries to act. He tells me Im vulgar for using the f word. hahaha.

 

I guess at this point I don't know if I want to be with such a complete liar. thats why I want to hear a bit more to see if he's just talking big to his friend, and figure out exactly what happened with who and for how long.

 

to me in just a week I've heard that he's possibly had sex or some sort of relationship with 2 coworkers and just hearing the way he talks is enlightening to me.

 

Its one thing if he acted like this all the time, but he's a completely different person in the recordings and it's not just cause he's with his friend.

 

at one point he's alone in the car and he says, 'she's hot' and then takes a picture. What?? ok, I can see saying a women in hot, but then taking her pic. Isn't that a bit weird?

 

I feel like my head is spinning. for years I would get these crazy feelings like something was wrong and my husband would make me feel bad and like a jealous freak for even asking him about anything.

 

He makes me feel bad for snooping like its only something unintelligent women do. If I hadn't snooped I wouldn't have any idea this was going on and it would likely continue. I'm actually surprised to hear he 'dumped' her.

 

Why would he do that? why bother if he can just keep being secretive?

[winterpast]

Whether he has cheated or not, he obviously has no respect for you at all. I think that makes him capable of doing anything.

[merrmeade]

at one point he's alone in the car and he says, 'she's hot' and then takes a picture. What?? ok, I can see saying a women in hot, but then taking her pic. Isn't that a bit weird?

...

I'm actually surprised to hear he 'dumped' her. Why would he do that? why bother if he can just keep being secretive?

Well, he could've taken the picture because he wants to see her again or maybe to show it to his buddy. This is what men on the prowl do and, from what you've reported, that's who he sounds like he is to me.

 

And what's " not to understand about 'he dumped her'? Same for "why bother if he can just keep being secretive?" Could've been for any reason people dump someone they've been dating. Or maybe he was alerted by your questions and decided he should remove the object of your suspicion. Either way, it doesn't sound like she meant much to him if it was that easy.

 

I agree that some of the tough talk sounds like what others have implied: Male bullsh-t bravado, i.e., talking smack on a woman to sound like an impervious hot shot to your buddy. However, there were basic facts that seemed to be understood between them: (a) He'd hooked up with this woman before. (b) But they're no longer an item. © He has no problem with the friend having a go at her. That's how I interpret it.

 

What's unclear to me is where the friend was during their conversations:

- In post #142, you said they're "on the phone," but you also quoted a couple of things the friend said. If they were on the phone, how could you hear what the friend said?

- Then, in the post quoted above, you say your husband is "alone in the car," which implies he wasn't alone before. Was the friend also in the car at some point?

Edited June 19, 2016 by merrmeade

[elaine567]

I'm actually surprised to hear he 'dumped' her.

 

Why would he do that? why bother if he can just keep being secretive?

 

Why does anyone dump anybody?

Because they are not getting along, because they don't like them any more, because they are bored with them, because they have found someone else more interesting or better, because they want to be free to pursue someone else.. etc. etc.

[dichotomy]

 

and this is the biggest issue. I can't explain how superior and 'good' my husband always tries to act. He tells me Im vulgar for using the f word. hahaha.

 

I guess at this point I don't know if I want to be with such a complete liar. thats why I want to hear a bit more to see if he's just talking big to his friend, and figure out exactly what happened with who and for how long.

 

 

1) From my "studies" some husbands and some wives - have this Madonna whore issue going on. That is with some husbands - they want their wives to be this nice proper wife and mom to their kids - nothing nasty - that is for their mistresses. Also to be fair some wives who cheat also suffer from this - that is they refuse to get kinky with their husbands to maintain a certain role in the marriage - and then go outside to some other man to be a freak in the bedroom - vulgar words and acts not allowed in their own home. Yepsurething your husband sounds like he may prefer to keep you in a certain role - no swearing, and more.

 

2) This is a very good plan. In fact you should ramp up the nice wife role at home - happy secure smiling while you continue to spy. I wish he used a home computer so you could investigate that as well.

 

 

I hope you get the information you need to make the right decision. But again - be aware of what has been mentioned - sometimes both wives and husbands act like pigs with their best friends in private out of range of their spouses.

[S2B]

Be smart. Start a plan for yourself in case you do need to leave the marriage.

 

Do you work? Can you start a bank account in your name only and save money to that account?

[Lois_Griffin]

well, I got to listen to another recording. there was definitely something going on with the women I suspected, I heard him talking but then it gets loud.

 

anyone know how to get background sound out.

 

he calls her by name when talking to his friend, says she was always a pain in the ass and then starts to talk about when a women likes you....and it cuts out.

 

don't know if it's more serious or not. sounds like he's done with her?

 

the recorder I have only seems to pick up part of the day, it has 8 hours worth of recording but only picks up about 2 hours worth?

You keep putting this thing in the WORST possible place - under his seat.

 

All you're going to get is CAR engine noises, exhaust noises, and road noise.

 

You need to hide it in the pouch behind his seat. Most cars have some kind of pouch or netting behind the driver's and passenger's seats.