wmacbride Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 If you are the married parent of a child with special needs, what are some of your tips for keeping your marriage healthy? My best would be to see the beauty in your child and your rleationship with them, and the one you have with you spouse. Sure your dreams of your child's future may not what you had planned, but they can still be wonderful, just different. We'll probably never have an empty nest or grand children, but that's okay. Our children have given us other gifts. When my son speaks after years of being non-verbal, it's amazing. Don't beat yourself up if you sometimes feel frustrated or angry at your situation. that's normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Give yourself a break and unwind. It's okay to ask for help. You don't have to do it all. Respite care can be a wonderful thing. It can be realy hard to carve out time for your spouse, but if you can do it, it pays great dividends. It's also okay to not always be strong. There are times that being strong means opening up and showing your weakness to one another. In a few weeks we're going to get to see one of our daughters graduate high school. The work she has put in to accomplish what other other kids her age have is so humbling. We are happy and so proud of her 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Our son graduated HS last year - we're in much the same phase. He went out a few weeks back with new friends from his work skills training program (the staff have been invaluable in helping foster friendships) and hubby and I had an amazing day alone. We did some gardening, went out for lunch and sex in the afternoon (woot!) It prompted me to engage a support worker - he and my son are going out for a couple of hours this morning. Our 16yo daughter also helps care for him, but she has a life and I'm very careful that she doesn't get weighed down by being a carer too. I wish our family was more able to help with respite. But our siblings all have lives and their own kids. My parents love my son but aren't comfortable minding him for extended periods. Hubby and I are trying to figure out a weekend away skiing this winter are yet to work out how to cover the Friday day. (Our daughter will care for him the rest of the weekend - paid of course. And the new respite worker will probably be around too) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wmacbride Posted May 14, 2016 Author Share Posted May 14, 2016 We are lucky in that there is an excellent respite program here, and our military family resource center also offers respite care to families who need it. the biggest issue is finding someone who has the right training, and many of them don't feel comfortable if there are two or more kids who need the care and not just one. It's awesome that you were able to get away for lunch and have some time with just the two of you. Moments like that are so precious. there are social groups, etc. for kids with the ones mine have, but they are mostly made of of guys, as it has been diagnosed far more often in them. I ha hr signed of for these kinds of social skills groups in the past, but she was always the only girl, and you want to see a room suddenly grow very hushed. Just have a room full of young men with an ASD and have a pretty girl walk into the room. You can hear a pin drop:laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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