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Why did he text me after months of silence if he didn't want to talk?


PacificPlain

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PacificPlain

I met a guy on tinder, we texted a lot for a few weeks, which he was very into, then we went on on a date in early January. The date wasn't bad, but he never made an effort to plan a second one, even though I'd given him clear "green lights". The texting became sporadic. Like he would go 3 days without replying. Then nothing.

 

Last weekend, out of the blue 5 months later, I got a text from him "hey how are you?" We texted back and forth a little, he took forever to respond towards the end of the day, and he acted like we're in close contact or something "oh you went to such and such? You'll have to take me some time." I called him out on it and was like: "I'll have to take you sometime? We haven't talked in months. What prompted the sudden friendliness?" He's never replied. I don't get it. Why would a guy reach out to you after 5 months of silence, if he didn't want to talk or exchange more than 3 texts?

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This has happened to me more times than I count with guys. He is keeping his options open. He is interested, but not interested enough to pursue a relationship. I can almost guarantee he is talking to many other girls hence his spotty replies. It's nothing against you, he is just trying to juggle a lot of girls most likely. I know the drill with guys like this.

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lilmissjava

He pursued other interests on the great and powerful Tinder.

 

When those didn't pan out, he thought of plan b, c, d etc.

 

I wouldn't bother with him at all.

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Tip: if nothing ever panned out, block/delete their number. AND don't bother with guys that text you for weeks before actually asking you out....more then likely they are juggling other options.

 

FYI: it doesn't grant you another date if you give the guy plenty of green light signals that you are interested. If he's not interested, he's not interested. what deserves a second date is when the first date went really well, not just so-so or not bad. This guy is a dip sh&%. not worth typing out this thread about.

 

Hope you meet a real man someday soon, and not have to deal with flakes like this guy. Best of luck:)

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Wave Rider

I've had similar things happen with women. Like with a couple of ex-girlfriends, after we broke up. With one, I'd send her a message, and she wouldn't respond. Then I'd get a message from her three weeks later saying, "Oh sorry, I thought I responded, but I didn't." Then I'd send her another message and she wouldn't respond. Why would she have responded after so long, or cared about apologizing, if she didn't want to talk?

 

Another ex-girlfriend messaged me a few months after we broke up, apologized for some of her bad bad behavior, and asked me a bunch of questions about how my life was going. I responded and told that I needed better honesty from her (a problem with her in our relationship.) She responded to the honesty thing, but not to any of my other responses to the questions she asked me. I sent her another message, and she never responded.

 

I know, it's so confusing when the ex sends you a message, then stops responding after you answer. I don't know what they want. With those exes of mine that I mentioned, I really doubt they're involved with other men. Maybe they would want to try to work things out with me, but their own feelings are so dysfunctional they they can't be clear about what they want. Or maybe they still liked me, but not enough to be asserting about giving it a second chance. Or maybe they were looking for me to say something specific, and because I didn't say that specific thing, they stopped responding. It's very confusing and frustrating, because I feel like there was something that I could have said that would have made things work, but I don't know what that thing was. I feel like they had this whole fantasy in their mind of what I would say when they messaged me, and when I didn't say the thing they were hoping I would say, they stopped responding.

Edited by Wave Rider
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VampireChester

Why block him now if you have not done it over five months? I would just go with the flow. You can probably get a free drink and maybe a meal out of this. IF you want to see him continue onto the next page.

 

There is another side of the coin as well. Why did you not text or message him until he messaged you five months later?

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