10 months post Break up... Rant/Observation TL/DR

[TheLoveBelow92]

I just want to start with thanking everyone on this site as it has helped me with questions i had and help i very much needed since I joined in October.

 

So since my break up Last July I figured out a lot of things about myself, friends and my ex of course. My mood changed day to day going from being ok with everything to going back into my little bubble of depression for long periods of time, So il give you a little back drop to my story real quick.

 

My ex GF broke up with me July last year a week or so before my birthday (we where not getting on and I was full on insults and generally just not a good BF) that weekend I got with a girl at my birthday party at our mutual friends, my ex was in our apartment with her friend having drinks with two Aussie guys that came over for a holiday one which was seeing her friend or so she said..so anyway a couple days later ex found out about that girl at the party ( I told her I kissed her) lost her S**t and moved out earlier than she would of liked.

 

So since then 10 months have passed and it got really really tough at times think going by my threads at month 4 was the lowest I have been in my life... I had to move back home, I was unemployed and after getting quite heavy. Thats when I knew I had to change and pick myself back up but at the time it was for her to see how much I could change like I should of during the relationship. So between then and now I got a minimum wage job straight away moved out of home dropped from 88kgs back to 67kgs (im 23 and 5 10") and got the job I I tried so hard to get and would not shut up about during the relationship (went from a call centre job earning 18k a year to a Pharma company making 38k a year)

 

Anyway My ex was already in a relationship since October and it crushed me when I heard, She was doing really well in her new home and she was doing great in work all while I was crying my eyes out sleeping on my parents couch thinking about her and how much I messed up and how I could fix it.

Last weekend My best friends is friends with my ex and told me they broke up and I knew straight away that I was going to be seeing around alot more as her ex lived quite far away. So I thought I did the mature thing and although I still had muddled feelings for her I said id text her to sort out us and our mutual friends because there are a ot of events coming and I didnt want the case to be do they invite me or her and if we invite both will we ruin the night (im the one who was the emotional wreck at the time you could of guessed).

 

I messaged her one morning telling her the situation and seeing is there a solution to this problem and if she would like to meet up to discuss so we can both move past this point... Well she got quite mad at that text and sent me and essay of not so much hurtful things other than facts and it shocked because what she was saying was all true, She Said:

 

I am not problem, I have always been fine with all this, you are the one with the problem, I have no issues with mutual friends all our friends tippy toe around you and have been since the breakup, becuase you couldnt handle it. you ruined so many nights for everyone from festvals last year and events because of your immaturity and childishness. So NO I have nothing more to say to you so just grow up and deal with it.

 

I was Stumped and couldnt believe it and thinking back it was all true, wondering my friends where meeting my ex out for events, group messages been sent out and not being included and all the drama in between.

 

So this weekend I had a chat with my best friend (who is also friends with her) and explained everything to him and he agreed to everything and told me the truth about how everyone felt about me. It was a hard pill to swallow becuase they where all close enough friends bout I found since the breakup everyone grew very distant.

 

So what I found out

 

1. Lost my GF because I was a crap BF, and I was I just didnt know until now.

2. Ended up pushing all my friends away because I was an emotional wreck and wouldnt shut up about her.

3.Never talk to your mutual friends about your ex unless its in a positive light because it will come back and bite you in the ass.

4.As hard as it is even when you hear news that breaks you heart again try as hard as you can to look at some positives.

5.Never ever ever play poor me card its a big no no.

6.If your friends make the effort to hang around and invite you to things, try put on a smile and be happy no likes bring mr depression to partys and events ( remember everyone there is there for a good time and have as many problems as you)

 

as the saying goes:

"there is a d**k head in every group and if you think theres no d**k head in my group you answered your own question"

 

So thanks for reading I have a lot of things to go and make up to people.