johngeez Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I have been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for 10 months where we see each other on weekends or every other weekend, and everything was perfect, but apparently I did not give her space and was too attached to her, such as always talking about our future. She has a lot of friends and always seems to be happy but no longer prioritizes me and is too busy with her friends now. I told her if she loves me she would make time for me. She broke up with me earlier today saying that she is no longer in love with me but still greatly cares about me and cried over a facetime breaking up with me. I am 100% sure she isnt cheating on me. She said "our relationship has run its course.. you are an incredible person and i am happy that i had this but you deserve someone who loves you fully, and its not me anymore. Idk wat happened but i fell out of love, but thank you for being my first relationship and showing me what it was like. Im sorry i stopped putting in effort and theres always going to be a part of me that loves and cares for you. Sorry its all happening this way". During the last 4 weeks I struggled to keep the relationship together and begged her to stay a while longer and we can work things out, but now she broke up with me. So now I am going to no contact, and I am going to work on myself and try to get over it. but I love her more than I have loved anyone else, and want to be with her so badly. I know no contact is supposed to be for myself, but what are the chances she will miss me and ask to see me again and give it another shot? Link to post Share on other sites
deadparrot Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Slim to none. Put that possibility out of your mind so it doesn't hinder your healing process. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I don't think it's very likely in this case. She lost interest and that's very hard to get back, and her words have a strong tone of finality. It also sounds as though she is young, if this is her first relationship. Is it yours too? Sadly, most first relationships don't go the distance because what we want changes as we grow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johngeez Posted May 18, 2016 Author Share Posted May 18, 2016 Three days into no contact, she texted me last night and I replied a couple hours later what she wanted. She said she was really upset and wants me to be a part of her life and misses me so badly and wants to be friends, to which I replied no. I told her I am slowly moving on and to not contact me with this kind of stuff, and she said she needed time to think and I told her she has time but i will not have hope and be moving on, and that it may be too late when I do. Was this the right thing to do? Is it possible she will come back? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 Yes, saying no to being "just friends" was the right thing to do. You can't be friends with a recent EX especially when you want them back. Friends talk about things, console each other when sad and celebrate when happy. How would that work here? Are you going to comfort each other over your break up? When one of you gets a new SO are you going to celebrate that? Of course not. Plus the new SO will not tolerate a friendship with an EX. She has what I call dumpers remorse. She doesn't really want you back but the reality of being single is getting to her & she's nostalgic for the good times so she is offering you half a loaf. Don't bite. You can say you would consider a reconciliation but if she's not all in & no longer loves you then you would prefer she leave you alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johngeez Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 (edited) .................... Edited June 15, 2016 by johngeez Link to post Share on other sites
j21bird Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 (edited) That was a good move on your part to saying no to being friends. As the poster above said, she is likely feeling some guilt. If there is a chance of reconciliation it is growing because you are standing your ground and not entering "friend zone" with her. Edited June 15, 2016 by j21bird Link to post Share on other sites
gaig Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 The only situation you should say "yes", is the one she announces she is going to fight hard to get you back. And then actually you don't say anything, you let her prove she means it Link to post Share on other sites
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